Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers: A Sad Tragedy

wpid-photo-20150704120546349Please note: this is a fictional tale and the narrator is a male. 

I can still hear Katie’s laughter as she ran around her family’s vineyard that day. I can still remember the way her golden-brown hair shined brilliantly under the sun and the way she looked back at me. I will never be the same after that.

“Oh, Brian,” I heard her taunt, “I’m waiting.”

I remember laughing, “I am not that young anymore.” She slowed to a walk and twirled around. I jogged the remaining distance until she was in my arms. “I love you.” I whispered, cupping her cheeks between my hands. Then a shot rang out and she collapsed in my arms. “Katie?”

She stared at me, trails of tears raced down her cheeks as a puddle of blood pooled on the ground. Our fingers intertwined. “I love you.” She mouthed and then nothing, just silence.

It’s never supposed to be like this. We were supposed to get married and live happily ever after. Slowly, I bring the gun to my temple as I take another swig of wine. We will be together again very soon, Katie. 

(~175 Words)

I am participating in Priceless Joy’s flash fiction challenge, Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writer, where we write a piece between 100 and 150 words (more or less 25 words) in length inspired by the photo prompt above.

22 thoughts on “Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers: A Sad Tragedy

  1. I think you wrote a very good flash story. Interesting and kept my attention. However I believe your title gave away too much. I’m trying to think of a suggestion. Maybe “A Glimpse of Joy” or “Love’s Moment.” You are good, Yinglan, I hope I don’t come across as hard to please. I guess it’s just “once a teacher, always a teacher!” Generally you like my comments so I try to be honest with you. I think I read everything you write and I am a busy woman so you see how much I care for your talents. Keep writing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oneta, thank you for reading my stories. I enjoyed writing this one. Unfortunately, in the spare of the moment, I couldn’t think of a title. I was about to go titleless but instead, I went with an obvious choice.
      I enjoy your comments and really appreciated that you read everything I write.
      Take care. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Excellent story. Wouldn’t have expected a tragedy, had it not been for the title – a dead giveaway, though.

    First, I was quite confused: “cupping her cheeks between my hands…I bring the gun to my temple as I take another swig of wine.” That was like, he was having four hands to get all this done.

    But then, I understood it completely when I read the comments. Good work – keep it up 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know, I couldn’t think of a better title at the time, oh well.
      No, a person don’t need four hands to shoot himself while drink wine. He can hold the bottle in one hand and the gun with another.
      Thank you for reading.


  3. Nice flow of story. The beginning is strong and the plot is captivating.
    “I will never be the same after that”
    it is a beautiful sentence. Though, you have explained but I have a feeling that the narrator killed her.
    In short, I simply love this tale 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Anything you want to ask? Want to know?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s