Good Saturday morning! Thank you for joining me. Come on in for some drinks.
If we were having coffee or other drinks, I would tell you it’s been a long week. It wasn’t the 46 hours work-week that made it long. It was the sleepless nights due to the roller-coaster temperatures. I mentioned in our last chat, the temperature was in the mid to upper-90’s the week before before the temperature suddenly plummeted to the 60’s last Sunday. Well, it has been steadily rising back up again but taking another plunge this weekend.
Ugh! I hate this roller-coaster weather.
If we were having drinks, I would tell you I’m enjoying going to work because I don’t have to drive to work and I get to go home early. I only drive on the days when I have to head to my part-time job which has reduced to one day a week due to the lack of work. The other four days, I would take the early bus to work and the early bus home. I have been able to read on the bus. In fact, I finished reading an entire book this week. It’s got to be a record for me. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book this fast. If I have, I would remember.
If we were having drinks, I would tell you about the book. It’s The Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks. It’s my first time reading a Nicholas Sparks novel because I’ve never like reading romance and this genre is what this author is well-known for (at least that’s what I heard) but when I read the synopsis on the back, it seemed like a good read. It’s what prompted me to buy this book at the thrift store a few months ago.
The book pulled me in from the start. It made me cry, felt pitiful, gasp at the twists and turns, and smile. I watched the movie after reading the first chapter. The movie is nothing like the book. In some ways, it’s better than book but in other ways, it’s worse.
If we were having drinks, I would tell you I have been feeling a little guilty lately. I feel bad that because of my anxiety in the last few months, I have been in no mood to deal with my mom. Maybe “deal” is a strong word. I used to feel like I don’t want to listen her yammering on and on and when she asked me something, I felt like she was interrogating me like a detective on a case.
When I’m anxious, I tend to raise my noise. I tried to tell her about my anxious over a week ago, she thought the excuse was stupid and that I was only imagining it. She doesn’t believe in mental disorder. She believes we bring it on ourselves to feel anxious or depressed and that it’s dumb to experience those things. Her words caused a wave (more like a tsunami wave) of emotions to wash over me. What was guilt and anxious turned into an emotions soup for me.
Ugh, I don’t like feeling like this.
Now, some days, I would feel like I should spend more time with her. I sometimes would feel like I shouldn’t go to my bible study on Wednesday and Sunday nights, that I should be at home and have dinner with her. Other days, I would feel like I can’t wait to get away from her. Her actions are helping either as I’m in this constant mental battle.
If we were having coffee, I would thank you for joining me this week and hopefully, I will be back next weekend.