#WeekendCoffeeShare: Trying New Things

Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

Good Sunday morning! Welcome to another weekend of #weekendcoffeeshare. What are you waiting for? Come on in and have a cup of steamy hot coffee, tea, cocoa, or whatever with me.

Well, what do you know? I made it back this week.

I would tell you last week has been a mundane week for me. Not much happened at work and home. You know, same old, same old, though I did start the week with a large dose of anxiety after I found out I accidentally went over one hour at work the previous week. That was because I went to lunch with the department after a department-sponsored activity. My supervisor warned that if anyone go over more than an hour would receive disciplinary action. I’m guessing that “action” is getting fired.

So that had me incredibly worried. I was afraid to let my supervisor know but at the same time, I was sure she knew since she was the one who clocked out for me. In the end, I decided on “don’t ask, don’t tell,” and I would deal with it when it comes.

My anxiety eventually dissipated when I discovered my supervisor approved my time card on Friday (two days ago) and promised myself I will be very careful from now on.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

In the midst of the anxiety, I was trying out a new diet – intermittent fasting. After binging and barely exercising for more than six months, I managed to gain back most of the 10 pounds I lost last year. I hate that about me. I’m an emotional eater. Whenever I’m anxious or sad, I’ll eat everything in sight and I’ll overeat.

I can also be easily tempted.  So it hasn’t been easy. There are triggers everywhere and many times, I found myself almost hyperventilating at the smell of fries, fried chicken, and the sight of candies. “You’re not hungry. You’re just craving sugar and junk food. You can do this.” I had to keep muttering those words to myself. People walking by me must thought I was nuts or something.

I got through each workday last week with an avocado, fruit, green tea, and lots and lots of water before having a proper dinner at home each night. I lost about 4 pounds as of yesterday. It sure is hard to believe what fasting does to one’s body. I feel more energized and even sleep better because of the fast. I think because I burned some of the reserved fat during fast, I can run for longer time than before.

My co-worker asked me one day why I want to lose weight so badly since I look quite healthy. “Have you ever had someone call you fat?” I asked him. It was a rhetorical question. “My family has been calling me fat since I was a child. When your family calls you a ‘fat girl’ when you’re a child, in Chinese, it means adorable. When your family calls you a ‘fat girl’ when you’re almost 30-year-old, now that’s offensive.”

…and I was taught never to be angry or argue with elders, so it’s not like I can tell my family off.

If we were having coffee or whatever hot beverage of your desire, I would tell you thank you for dropping by and I will once again try my hardest to come back in 6 or 7 days.

9 thoughts on “#WeekendCoffeeShare: Trying New Things

  1. Yikes, it would seem that if you accidentally went over an hour, they would just not pay you, not fire you. Glad it all worked out. Good luck on the diet front, I am still struggling to find my motivation.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yinglan – wow – I dated a secret love of my life who is Chinese back when I was in college, but even though she had very formal parents, she acted much more like an American girl in every way I could see and when I met her parents, I was surprise that they were suspicious and distant. She explained it was just how they are… okay. but then later they took her to China for her first visit to see their family and when she returned, she dropped me cold. Something she could not talk about happened and we were done. I never found out what happened, but another Chinese friend told me that she most likely was married off in an arranged marriage. I doubt that, but cannot prove anything except the whole thing was very strange even for her. I’ve had so many friends from China, but still feel I know next to nothing about what it’s like being a Chinese American.

    All that to say, I wish things were different for you. You are clearly a smart and thinking woman, anxious to do the right thing by your work and family, but I hesitate to ever think I understand what hurts or helps you. I would love to see you just happy and at peace with working hard and “doing” life. We all have challenges, but sometimes I think being Chinese is extra hard when words can be so hurtful and leave you defenseless. Know that you do have friends who care and are trying to understand without hurting you more.


    Liked by 2 people

    1. I personally don’t think she broke up with you because of an arranged marriage. I think she broke up with you because her parents didn’t approve of you. This sort of thing happened to me a few times too. I’m not sure if this is how all Chinese or Asian parents act but I know my mom is like that too. Because of her, I lost a few friends, because that friend came over and my mom didn’t like him/her. Most of the time, it was the race of the individual while sometimes, it’s the image, i.e. the individual wasn’t what the parents imagined.

      They keep forgetting though, we are our own person and we have thoughts, feelings, and methods of expression. This, in turn, make things difficult for their child, who is educated in the U.S. and is not familiar with the old ways of thinking.

      I am thankful, though, that I have a group of friends, whether from church or here (wordpress), who are sympathetic and understanding of the difficulty I face living with an Asian parent.

      Thank you for reading and have a great week.:)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I can relate to cultural differences, even though not the same that you are experiencing. When I just moved to the US I offended people left and right, by being to correct and Swedish. LOL. I always enjoy reading your posts. Happy Thanksgiving!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you find this relatable because even though the U.S. is a cultural melting pot, there are a lot of people who don’t understand some people are the way they are because of their culture. I enjoy reading your posts and seeing your photos too. Happy Thanksgiving.

      Liked by 1 person

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