5 Differences/Similarities between my Blogging Self and Real Self

Published on by Yinglan

We all blog for a reason, whether to build an identity in the blogging universe that’s totally different from the real life persona or to expand our real life persona into the blogging universe. This week on #5things, hosted by Tanya from Salted Caramel, she’s presenting the opportunity to list out 5 ways in which our blogging self is the same or differs from our real life counterpart.

Here’s mine:

1. First of all, I will clear this up. My blogging self and real self share the same name. I am horrible when it comes to picking aliases or names for my characters. I tried all kinds of aliases when I first started blogging and none of them felt like me. So I decided to use my real name.

2. If you were to turn my brain inside out and dump all the thoughts out, that’s my blogging self. I’m not afraid to write about how I feel on my blog and all the things I’m thinking. My blog is just about the safe space I have left to express my inner most thoughts. I used to be able to express my thoughts on Facebook but many of my church friends sided with my mom after they met her one time. I don’t know how but it didn’t seem fair to me that someone would be on my mom’s side after meeting her one time.

In real life, I don’t ever dare voice my opinion on anything. I let my mom make our decisions while standing back with my tail between my legs (figuratively speaking) and say, “Whatever you like,” because I’ve learned from my mistake the repercussion I would face for not letting her what she wants.

3. I only swear (curse) when no one’s listening. If you don’t know by now, I am a 30-something adult with no life, living with someone under my own roof who sometimes acts like a child. She has stomped on my feet twice now in the midst of a tantrum. “Hissy fit,” my step-dad used to call it. So I think I have the right to swear now and then. If I spill a few 🤬now and then on my blog, please pardon me, it’s difficult, sometimes, to live with someone like my mom.

4. I have a ton of flash fiction stories brewing in my head but if I tell it to a real life audience, there would be either crickets or laughter. That’s the difference between my blogging world and real world, there’s audience here to read and comment on my stories. In my real life, making up stories is discouraged.

5. Finally, in real life, the only time I get to speak English is either when I head into the office or when I’m on a call. No one in the family speaks English and mom wants me to keep my Chinese dialect from going extinct. So my Chinese dialect is all I speak when I’m with my mom.

After three years of working from home, speaking English is now getting harder for me as I find myself having trouble pronouncing some words. Thankfully, my thoughts are still in English and having this blog helps me to maintain my English writing at an understandable level.

15 thoughts on “5 Differences/Similarities between my Blogging Self and Real Self”

  1. I am glad you have your blog as an outlet. When I was a teenager, I had a moan book where I would write down everything that had annoyed or upset me. It was kept under my bed and as far as I know, no-one read it. I would read my entries a day or so later, then rip them out as my frustration had passed and I had got it out of my system. It helped keep my temper in check, something I have only really lost twice.
    I am also glad you have your photography. Always something beautiful to see and enjoy, so for that, I thank you for sharing.

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  2. this is a great point to reflect on. I believe real character is important, and that means consistently: not pretending to be someone else in different environments. of course, some environments call for more professionalism than others, but that’s not what I’m talking about.

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  5. Yinglan, I think you know by now that I wish that you could move out on your own and be able to enjoy your life. By the way, you are a very talented blogger and photographer.

    You should be able to speak your mind, as long as you aren’t disrespecting someone, including your mother.

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  6. You write beautifully, and you also must remember that you are an adult. It’s so very hard to really remember that, especially with our parents, but you are not a child. There is a point at which you will realize that you have spent your life respecting her as a mother and a person but she only views you as a child. When that happens, please be careful: one’s mouth doesn’t always keep all thoughts quiet, even if it had a one hundred percent success rate previously. My mother was actually pretty good at recognizing we became adults, and would flip into “Mommy” randomly. My father still acts like I am a no-nothing child, and it drives me insane. Eventually, it all just spills out of my mouth when I least expect it to, and he always gets upset with me. It’s the reality of adulthood, you need to demand the respect that you deserve, no matter who they are. However, demanding it doesn’t have to be aggressive, it can just simply be anything that you feel brings you sovereignty, like your blog. I wish you nothing but happiness!

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    1. My mom’s mouth has absolutely no filter. She says whatever the hell she pleases, no matter how much the words hurts other people. I have the opposite problem, no matter how angry I am, I would never explode on anyone I know. I guess I have a blog for a reason – to explode on some poor random strangers.
      And it’s not just my mom has a problem not treating me as an adult, her entire family is the same way, which drives me to the brink of insanity at times and wonder if I need to dye my hair gray and draw a few wrinkles on my face to get some respect.

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      1. We’re here to explode at any time you need to. So never worry about that.

        Don’t dye your hair gray, it won’t help. They’ll just criticize you for trying to rush time. Instead, malicious compliance might be the answer. It won’t necessarily help, but if done right, the look of complete confusion will give you a good mental chuckle. If she treats you like a child, answer like one. Speak in child-gibberish. But say it, not with a tone of talking to a child, but say it conversationally, is if that is supposed to be a completely comprehensible response to what she just said. It is not disrespectful or cruel, it’s just a well deserved smile for you. I could do this with my mother, but not my father. He just assumes that if he doesn’t understand what you said, you were agreeing with him. With him, I tend to reply in pig Latin. He can’t speak it, but he recognized it as language and it drives him crazy because it’s neither a yes or no, he can’t project anything onto it because it was clearly an answer, and he’s now sort of forced to ask me again. Then I know he’s paying attention. But I only use this when the option is this or strangling him. My mom was bossier. I used it more frequently, and the sheer look of “did I misunderstand basic language or did she forget how to speak” was gold. I’d respond once more identically and watch her confusion grow, then switch back to normal so she forgot to get mad about it lol

        To family, you will always be someone they changed the diapers of, even if you were old and gray and as wrinkly as a raisin.

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