With the time changing back one hour yesterday, I can feel Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D) hit me even though I’m not even close to done with my garden. I believe it may have to do with the early light and early darkness that’s hitting me. Anyway, greens are still growing and some of my flowers have even started blooming again. It’s been a weird autumn so far. I don’t think I’ve ever sweat so much in November and I was just wearing a t-shirt and a thin jacket.

That’s not how I usually dress for November. I barely had to break out my regular winter jacket. The forecast stated that it’ll all change come Thursday, I guess we’ll see.

I finally got the heavy duty garden hoe back from my aunt and got half of the lawn cleared out of the nasty crab grass. I’ve decided to plant bulbs and lawn alternative ground covers along the fence and all the places I can’t reach with my mower. I’ve been working on this over the past week but I didn’t have my garden hoe, so I had to do it with a small hand hoe. I finally gave up when I couldn’t get back into a standing position. I believe I might have aggravated my back pain again.

Looking at my bucket of flower bulbs, it appears I’ll have to think of a clever way to plant the dozens of tulips, daffodils, crocus, and hyacinth bulbs. Looking at it, I would not be surprised if there are over 50 bulbs in there.

Meanwhile, my mom keeps telling me she doesn’t want to go to China. Her trip starts in a little over a week. She keeps blaming that on me because I don’t want to go. I told her my reasons over and over (even though I don’t have to) but she doesn’t seem to respect my decision but at least she didn’t force me to go like she did with the Taiwan trip.

Then she started that conversation again – the same conversation I’ve written about over 2 years ago. The same conversation where she wants to adopt a child and raise him/her to be my companion after she’s gone. She said she wants to raise the child “in her image.”

My eyes were just rolling while mentally, I felt like I’m not being heard, like I’m just constantly shouting into the void. Haven’t we been here before? Haven’t I made it clear I’m not lonely and I don’t need a companion? Why does she think I’m in need of a companion? I’m not a pet that needs constant looking after. I am a completely capable person or am I just imagining this?