Are you a plum or a prune?

What do I mean by this cryptic question- It’s a way of asking that do you/ we gladden the hearts of people with our freshness/ jolly attitude or do you/ we leave a sour taste in the mouth of people we meet by our negative/ critical attitude?

If I hadn’t read the question in detail, I would had been scratching my head, wondering what Sadje meant. Honestly, if you’re asking whether I prefer a plum or a prune, I would say plum because why should I take the dried, shriveled, aged fruit when I can have it fresh?

With that said, if you ever meet me, you will find I’m the sweetest, juiciest plum on the outside. People tells me I have a sunny disposition and that I have a refreshing attitude. I’m a people pleaser for sure.

I think it’s the result of being passed around when I was young. At each relative’s home, I tried to please them, to get them to like me even though they treated me like dirt. As I got older, I guess it sort of cemented into my personality. The only person who would think I’m a prune might be my mom who seems to believe she’s the greatest human being and that I and her family should kneel and kiss her feet for bringing us to the U.S.

Unfortunately, as sunny as my general disposition may be, nature will always find a way to balance itself out. So while I’m a people pleaser on the outside, I am my worst inner critic and I think it’s the reason I am always seeking to self-improve. I’m not sure I’ve ever been happy with myself. It’s sad but true. My many desires and wants for myself often turns to the question of whether it’s mom-approval even though it has nothing to do with her. Every time I look myself in the mirror, I just see this “meh” person – just average with nothing special.

I mean, I can tell people I’m good at this and that, but inside, another voice is saying, “Yeah, but you’re a master of none of those things.”

#SundayPoser