What should be the first thing a child be taught?
What do you feel, are the things that children need to learn – either at home or in school from a younger age? And what things do you feel that they shouldn’t learn as they grow up?
Though I don’t have children of my own nor do I remember the first thing I learn as a child, I am the oldest among my cousins and I witnessed the behavior in their early years. My younger cousins are all male. Whether that’s a thing in Asian countries or only in both my maternal and paternal families, all boys are treated as the superior gender over girls. Many times during the decade I spent in China, I was the silent background observer to my male cousins’ brat-like behavior as they were getting spoiled by their parents and grandparents.
I was born in 1991. My first cousin came in 1995, second in 1996, and the third in 1997. My first cousin is from the paternal side and the latter are from my maternal family. I didn’t spend a lot of time with my paternal family, so I will focus on the cousins from the maternal side.
I bet there are many out there who will disagree with me when I say, “Children can be ridiculously observant, even if they don’t know it.” They are unconsciously recording our every move, like a spy about to strike.
I didn’t begin to notice my cousins’ behaviors until my mom went to the US and left me in China, where I was shuttled from relative to relative, depending on who wanted me.
There’s an event during that time that’s been seared into my memories. My aunt, cousin, and I were at an ice cream truck. I don’t remember what I got because I was interrupted by my cousin who began to wail and scream because his mother refused to get him what he wanted. That wasn’t the first and the last time I saw my cousin do such a thing.
So I think if there one thing children should learn first in life, it’s not everything in life is about them and that no tantrums in public.
This is Another Story 
I think the first thing a child should learn is that they are loved unconditionally. A child that experience a feeling of safety are in the right position to learn anything and everything.
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Absolutely! I think to be loved unconditionally is very important for a child.
I heard that when a child knows that he/she is loved unconditionally, the child will be better behaved, meaning less tantrums. I haven’t seen it in real life, only heard that on a podcast from a psychologist (I think).
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I remember “waking up” to life and being surprised I couldn’t speak. I don’t remember much after that first night in my grandma’s house. I think I went back to sleep until I could walk and talk. The first thing we teach our kids is to sit on the potty. 😊🙃 and say, mama! And then walk.
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Those are good lessons to learn.
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A good point
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Agreed.
Yes, children learn by watching what others get away with. I had four children. Before they went to school, I would take them swimming every week at our local leisure centre. After swimming, we would get cola and crisps from the snack machines.
One week, in the changing room after our swim, my second eldest lay herself down on her front and had a kicking, screaming fit.
This wasn’t like her at all. I can only assume she had seen another child get away with it and thought she’d try it. I told her we were going to get our cola and crisps. She could either stay there or come with us.
She was a sensible child, and a hungry one. She didn’t want to miss out on her snack, so she picked herself up and toddled after us.
Never had any tantrums from any of them after that.
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I agree, children learn by watching and it sounds like your daughter learned fast. I guess after that, she also learned that throwing a tantrum will not work in her favor.
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What you have described here is often seen in third world countries like Pakistan too. Perhaps parents think that boys will grow up and support their parents but for the past couple of generations, I’ve seen that there is more equity among boys and girls.
You’re so right that children have to be taught that they aren’t the center of the universe and that only good behavior should be rewarded.
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That is good that you are seeing equality among genders in your part of the world. I am also not referring to only parents but grandparents as well. It’s why I favor more of my former-step family than my real family. They treated me like an individual as opposed to someone not there.
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Now that we are grandparents ourself, we maintain equality among our grandchildren. If anything, I love my granddaughters more! They are so precious.
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I’m glad to hear that.
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💕💕💕
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