How do you respond to criticisms?
How do you respond to criticism, or something that feels offensive and hurtful? Do you advise your loved ones, which may be considered as criticism?
I have been criticized almost non-stop by the adults around me since I was seven and every time I get criticized, I would go find ways to improve myself. Like when I was in elementary school, my aunt used to always call me “lazy” because she thought I slept too much. It turned out I slept so much because I had a condition that made me tired all the time. Then, when everyone called me fat, “fat pig,” was their nickname for me, I started dieting and watching my body until I started counseling with a dietitian.
Each time I’m criticized, I seem to respond with finding ways to improve myself. I took me until recent years to realize that “Why should I change myself for these people?” No matter how many new version of myself I create, they will still find something wrong with me.
Unfortunately, sometimes, it’s easier said than done because I’m a people-pleaser, which is a horrible property of mine. In recent years, I have been lashing back, especially when my mom make insulting remarks. When I lash back, I feel like I’m being an adult and defending myself. I guess it’s a sign to prove to my mom that I’m no longer a child, so stop treating me like one.
This is Another Story 