I am so nervous about today. Since my car can no longer drive, I’ll have to take the bus home while mom, aunt, and cousin go search for new car for me. It’s a 90-minutes bus ride plus a 20-minute walk home but I am thankful for that because that means I won’t be involved in car-shopping. Trust me, it won’t be pretty if I’m involved because I do not like to shop for anything. I always tell my mom, either tell me what to buy or just tell me when it’s ready to pay.

Anyway, today’s prompt asks, You’ve been given the opportunity to send one message to one person you wouldn’t normally have access to. Who’s the person you choose, and what’s the message?

Hmm, that’s a tricky topic. Who will I write to? (drumming fingers on desk)

Does God count as one of those person? Because I have an important question I want to ask him that I know he might be the only one that has the answer for me and the prompt did say to write to one person I won’t normally have access to. God seems to fit the criteria.

My message is:

I’ve always been in the dark about my father’s death. When he died, I was four and everyone just assumed that by keeping me in the dark, it would prevent me from grief. My mom didn’t cry. Her face remained stone hard. 

It was a few weeks later that she told me my dad was gone. I asked how and she just told me heart attack. I believed her then but as I got older, I grew suspicious because I found out it was my grandparents who told my mother about the cause of death. When I was around 7 or 8, I asked my grandparents about it but they gave me a stern talking to about never saying the words “die” or “death” under their roof. So I gave up. 

So I need some truthful answers because all I have is that he collapsed at a restaurant. Also, the only ones who would most likely to have the answers are my grandparents and frankly, I don’t think they are going to tell me anytime soon. So I am asking you, God, to please tell me exactly how my father died because I think after this long, I deserve the truth.