“Be aggressive,” and “Be flexible”. These are two pieces of advice given to me by my mother that I would not give to anyone else. I will explain why but first I want to explain why she gave me these advice.

Be more Flexible!

My mother thinks I am stubborn and don’t know how to turn things around sometimes. So she often lectures me, telling me to be more flexible. But sometimes, I wonder if I am even the one who should be taking this advice.

Like yesterday, I went in my mother’s place to verify if our tenant really works at this place. I told her later that even the manager don’t know this person. She asked me something I can’t remember and I told her I was treating it like an investigation. She took it literally and gave me this big lecture about me don’t know how to ask smartly.

“No wonder they won’t tell you anything.” She said. She thought I told the manager I was investigating.

“I was treating it like an investigation.” I told her, annoyed. “I never said I told the manager I was investigating anyone.”

“Well next time, be more flexible when you speak.” And she walked away. It leaves me wonder whether my mother should be the one that needs to be more flexible.

Be more Aggressive!

As usual, my mother likes to take charge of my life and I somehow let her. Well, what can I do when I’m living with a fire-breathing dragon?

Anyway, about three years ago, I got my first interview for an internship, I was completely ecstatic. Of course, my mother wouldn’t let me drive myself to the interview and insisted to drive me there herself.

On the way, she talked and talked, blabbed on and on, coaching me on what to say. I didn’t bother to listen because honestly how do I even know what’s asked in a job interview. I was just thinking of going in and winging in.

So I decided to just looked out the window until she said, “Did you hear me?” and it snapped me back to reality.

“Yeah,” I said and shook my head.

“I said be aggressive.” I nodded. “You need to make the employer want you. Answer confidently.”

I did everything she asked and didn’t get the internship. I had a couple more interviews since then and still no luck. Two weeks ago, I had one again. This time, I chose to just be myself. My mother has to stop helping me. I need to get this internship and move out to purge her influence on me and my career. Unfortunately, no news yet. I’m hoping soon though, crossing my fingers.

Here is why I won’t give these advice to anyone:

1. I don’t tell people things unless I am very confident. I think before I speak but sometimes it doesn’t turn out so well. Besides, it’s my mother’s advice, it can turn awry like everything in my life.
2. Some people may already be flexible and giving them this piece of advice might make them become over-flexible which is bad sometimes.
3. The same goes to aggressive. If you’re overly aggressive, you’ll get competitive and no one will like you or maybe it’ll even get you fired.

My advice to you: Be yourself! Because without other’s advice, it will change you into someone you’re not.