Proving my Generosity


I thought about doing the daily prompt today. Then again, I’m only in my early 20’s. And because of the wonderful doctors who somewhat cured me of my genetic disorder, okay, not cured specifically, more like prolonged my livelihood past my 30’s. My point, it’s a little too soon for me to have a bucket list let alone an anti-bucket list, if I even decide to have one.

Anyway, I got into a small argument with my mother on Friday because my aunt was whining her clothes got ruined from painting the rental home. My mom said it’s because I wouldn’t spare some of my clothes. Well, I’m sorry but I never said to buy this house, my aunt did and I’ve got plenty of clothes ruined from painting houses. Does it mean now that she doesn’t get to sacrifice some of her clothes?

I lost my temper and screamed at my mom because she kept calling me selfish. What made me lose my temper wasn’t what she called me but how she said it, in that mocking tone, like a tease. I don’t like to be teased or mocked.

I kept telling her I don’t have any clothes to spare. It’s not because I’m sentimental and selfish either, it’s because I really don’t have any. Most of my clothes are brand-new, purchased in the recent months, less than a year old. Besides, most of my clothes are short-sleeved and twice as big as what my aunt owned and my aunt’s like a Quaker, I’ve never seen her in anything less than a long-sleeves turtleneck, long pants, and childishly colorful socks.

So my aunt wore one of her turtlenecks and jeans that day and she and my mom spent the whole day Friday painting the rental home while I spent the day running around town on my own. Her turtleneck and jeans were slightly ruined (splattered by paint) but she was reluctant to throw it away unlike my mother. So it’s currently soaking in a large bucket of water downstairs in the laundry room.

It was completely wrong of my mom to call me selfish. I am not a selfish person, if anything, I’m unselfish. If I’m selfish, I would’ve kept all my food to myself instead of sharing it with everyone else. I wouldn’t have allowed anyone else to watch TV or use my internet.

So I spent the entire day yesterday proving to everybody I’m not selfish. We went out for dim sum and morning tea for the first time in months and I paid for it with my own money. I even threw in a generous 20% tip because we occupied the table for so long.

Then when we went to the Chinese supermarket and bought enough grocery to hopefully last more than a week this time, I once again paid for it out of my own money. I felt kind of gut-wrenching when I swiped that card because I’ve never spent more than $100 a day except when I get my course material for school and tuition payment due date. But it proved my point. I am not a selfish person. End of discussion.

6 thoughts on “Proving my Generosity

  1. That word “selfish” seems to have a lot of power over a Chinese person. It seems to be almost the worst thing you could be labeled. I wish I’d been there for dim sum; anyway, I’d have split the bill with you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. To be labeled selfish means a person is incapable of thinking of anyone else but themselves. When you’re the only child, it’s just feels like the worst thing to be called because no one want to admit their fault especially it’s the fault that they’re trying to overcome.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My mom called me selfish all the time. I never was, but it was in her interests for me to believe I was. Very unfair, but she had her reasons.

        In Communist China I learned that the word had tremendous power. A person who was selfish put him/herself above the interest of the group which was considered a crime and could lead to some severe punishment back in the day.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The goal was to “Serve the People” which, of course, a selfish person would not do. Here the philosophy is that by fulfilling one’s potential to the best of their ability (being selfish) a person does good for the society. Both philosophies have a lot to recommend them but they can also be taken too far. I had lots of arguments in China about this because I was so ignorant, but I think the idea of being kind to others always works in the individual’s best interest so usually the arguments were resolved pretty quickly.

        Liked by 1 person

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