This week, I am grateful with what I have. 

As I mentioned in a post last week, I was planning a trip to Japan in March. Until Thursday, I felt anxious and stressed because one, the plane tickets to Osaka, Japan kept increasing day-to-day by $50 – $90 USD which is ridiculous, and two, the hotel prices were doing the same thing, upping a few dollars a night every time I checked it.

After booking the flight and hotels, I did an overall calculation of the cost and came up with a staggering number. Well, it’s staggering to me since I tend to travel on an extremely low budget. The cost wasn’t working for me. There was no way I would be able to let myself spend over $1,000 USD in Japan over a course of 10 days. After a sleepless night of thinking, I decided to cancel the trip altogether, cancel the hotels and flights. I am good with not going to Japan for now. I am good to just wander around my growing hometown of Zhongshan for now.

It was then I felt my anxiety began to subside.

I think my anxiety flared because of the fact that I will be acting as a tour guide for my two aunts in a place where I’m not familiar of its culture, language, and place. The only things I’ve ever learned about Japan were from watching YouTube videos and pictures. And the fact that there’s crowds, lots of crowds. I am not good in crowded places. Crowds make me anxiety. They make me unable to think and breathe. They are one of my worst nightmares.

So why not reserve the money for an adventure somewhere else? Like Canada?