Good morning! Welcome to #WeekendCoffeeShare, thank you for joining me on this Saturday morning in the beautiful historic city of Glasgow, Scotland.
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Tag: Anxiety
UK Trip Day 5
I watched the sunrise from a train this morning as I headed to Scotland.
Before I left for the UK, I remember checking the weather daily only to feel disappointed because it would forecast rain but 4 days in London, there was mostly blue skies and sun with afternoon clouds and a few minutes of drizzle, that’s it. I was surprised by the weather and now I got to see a sunrise?
I arrived, at last, in Glasgow after a 5-and-a-half-hour train ride, well, 4-and-a-quarter with about a 30-minute layover in Edinburgh.
If there was a day to feel extremely overwhelmed, it was today.
Firstly, my alarm went off at 4 AM. Everything was going fine until mom and I got on the train. When I bought the tickets online the week before the trip, I had seats reserved for the train but mom decided she didn’t want to sit in our assigned seats. She put her coffee on the table but decided to sit in the row behind. So I decided to do her a favor and carried her coffee.
Who would’ve thought the moment I grabbed the coffee by the lid, the cup would fall beneath, spilling coffee everywhere. Mom was furious. “Why did you touch my coffee?” She growled.
“It’s an accident,” I told her. I was trying to be nice but she just made me feel bad as I stood there, paralyzed as she cleaned up the mess with napkins. I was afraid to move, paralyzed by anxiety and fear, afraid if I intervened, more would go wrong.
Was I wrong to stand there like a deer in the headlights?
Probably but didn’t I have the right to be afraid?
Fortunately, the train remained quiet until we reached Newcastle when 4 people came aboard and insisted in sitting in our seats, which meant we had to move. I took a row while mom took another.
To be honest, one of my fears on this trip was not being able to understand the Scottish accent but it wasn’t difficult at all. I knew exactly what the man said when he told me to pay at the “till” and exactly what it meant when the meat is labeled at “minced” (maybe it’s also an English thing, not a Scottish thing).
I actually think the Scottish accent is one of the most beautiful accent I’ve every heard. Of course, despite constantly bragging about learning to speak English by watching the BBC, mom hasn’t been able to understand a thing since we arrived in the UK.
At first, I thought it was the slangs that’s getting her but I’m starting to think she’s just like her family – lazy and just wanted to rely on me.
#WeekendCoffeeShare – Fun at Work and Travel Anxieties
Good morning! Welcome to #WeekendCoffeeShare, thank you for joining me on this beautiful Saturday morning.
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Friday Thoughts – The Day Before…
Actually, it’s 2 days before. Tomorrow will mostly be spent in travel with a 90-minute flight to Los Angeles, endure a nearly 4 hours layover before hopping on a 10-and-half hours flight to London.
Last night, when I found out our seats got assigned, I thought, that just made the trip more real. We’re flying to London in the Boeing 787 Dreamliner. I’ve flown on the 777 before and didn’t like the seats at all – too narrow and not enough legroom. I’ve also flown on the Airbus. Personally, I prefer the Airbus with its roomier leg space. I’ve heard good thing about the Dreamliner though, so I hope it doesn’t disappoint.
There are 9 seats per row and my mom and I are in the middle. Since we went with the cheapest option, we didn’t get to pick our seats. So far, there’s no one sitting in the third seat and there are 40+ empty seats on the plane. I hope it’ll keep it this way, then mom won’t be squished into me. I like my personal space, if you haven’t noticed.
* * * * *
I planted 9 tomatoes last night. 9!
If you told me I would be able to plant 9 tomatoes in an hour a year ago, I would’ve told you you’re crazy. I probably wouldn’t be able to stand the next day.
My back has been sore since December and I’m currently going through physical therapy. My therapist has been teaching me to stretch in the appropriate places follow by electro-stimulation at the end of the session. The stimulation is nice. It’s like 4 pairs of gentle hands loosening my tight back. I feel better afterwards though it’s always been temporary. Oh well, I have 18 more sessions to go.
Anyway, back to tomatoes. Thankfully, I invested in a set of auger that can be attached to the drill. It’s a lot easier to press a button than to dig the hole myself.
I’ve also gone minimalistic when it comes to the amount of amendments I put into the planting holes. Last year, I’d put bone meal, blood meal, vermiculite, perlite, so many others but last night, I just scattered a few handfuls of worm castings and fertilizer. As much as the initial planting matters, I now believe in the importance of subsequent fertilizing. Besides, after spending so much time and energy last fall adding manure compost and amendments, the soil was incredibly rich and full of earthworms – a sight any gardeners would love to see.
Anyway, I just drilled, threw in worm casting, fertilizer, and plop went the tomato plant. I’ve also put cages around the indeterminate tomatoes, hoping to keep them tamed this year. Wish me luck.
As a documentarian, I have to document the garden before my trip. Otherwise, what would I have to compare when I return 2 weeks later?
I will also note that 2 of the broccoli plants in the new raised bed is beginning to head, will I return to beautiful broccoli heads?
Monday Thoughts – Panic Mode
It appears Mother Nature has heard our prayers.
The snow had ceased as of last Wednesday but I think Mother Nature might had turned the dial on the thermometer a little too much because it was hot this weekend even though it was only 60-degrees-Fahrenheit. It went from 30-degrees on Wednesday to near 60 on Friday. If I feel this hot when it’s 60, how will I get through the days when it’s 90+?
Anyway, the foot of snow in my backyard finally melted on Saturday and I spent the weekend catching up on my planting. I’m so late this year. The peas were supposed to be in the ground in the middle of March and so were the cold-hardy vegetables. I was in panic mode for other reasons as well. As of Saturday, I’m 4 weeks aways from my last frost date. There are many things that should be planted at this point but what? My mind was drawing a blank, which it’s what happens when I’m in panic mode.
I was also in panic mode because not only there’s a crack in the hose splitter, I still haven’t purchased the material to reconnect my drip irrigation system. I had to cut a large chunk of the system because my current design doesn’t fit the 2 new raised beds I installed last fall. With mom wanting to follow me everywhere I go, I might need to take a Thursday off from work, get the material, and install it myself.
Also, with Mother Nature turning up the thermometer, I hope I’m not too late with my tomatoes. I started them indoors on the 2nd of April and they are just now popping up. I’ve grown tomatoes for the last 2 years and I’ve transplanted them just prior to Memorial Day (last weekend in May) in time to let the cold-hardy crops finish up.
Oh, I’m so sore today, definitely overdid it this weekend.
- The Johnny Jump-Ups (viola) began blooming on Saturday. They are such pretty flowers and so cold-hardy.
- Poppy and alyssum seeds scattered in the backyard, in hopes that it’ll create a carpet-like groundcover to deter weeds.
- The soil in my Greenstalk towers are loosened and amended before popping the remaining 6 strawberry plants in there along with some lettuce and spinach seedlings. The seed potatoes I planted before the last freeze still hadn’t come up. I hope they are okay.
- Planted snow peas and shelling peas in the L-Shaped bed and Napa cabbages in the new raised bed next to the broccolis, which miraculously survived the last freeze.
- Planted the remaining seed potatoes in 10-gallon grow bags and placed them in the front yard to take advantage of the southern sun. Getting to plant beneath the southern sun is such a game changer because my front yard gets full sun and facing south, it’s much warmer than the backyard, which at the moment, it’s highly advantageous as I’m in a hurry to play catch up.
- A 15-gallon grow bag was also filled and placed in the front yard, in which I sowed carrots and some Asian greens. I’m looking forward to those.
Now, I just need to locate a couple of blackberry plants to plop in my backyard.
#WeekendCoffeeShare – In Hopes of a Quick Getaway
Good morning! It’s Saturday, right? Come on in and join me for a quick chat.
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Monday Peeves – Minor Monday Annoyances
I’ve been meaning to join Paula Light’s The Monday Peeve for a while now but always find myself in the midst of my busy busy work. Ugh!
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#WeekendCoffeeShare – Finally Winning at Christmas Party
Good morning! Please grab a mug of something and join me on this gloomy Saturday.
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#WeekendCoffeeShare – Something to be proud of this week
Good morning! Please do come join me for a cup of coffee and if you’re in a warm place, can you may be spread some warmth?
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Friday Thoughts – An Update on Health
I don’t know why but I feel like I don’t write enough about my physical health.
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#WeekendCoffeeShare – October 2022 Garden Update and Driving Anxiety
Good morning! Come on in and grab a coffee or a tea, and sit.
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US-Canada Trip 2022 Day 1
The last two days has been absolutely crazy. On Monday, I worked almost 12 hours before continuing on Tuesday with a little over 4 hours to complete my 16 hours of the 40-hour work week.
For the first time in a long while, I felt hectic, trying to get every customer billed and all the payments reconciled. I am a billing and accounting specialist, in case you haven’t figure that out. I send bills to customers and reconcile payment for a living.
I am writing this post prior to getting on my first flight from Salt Lake to Las Vegas. From Vegas, I’ll have a 4.5 hours layover before boarding another flight to Buffalo, New York. Of the airports I have been to so far, the Salt Lake airport has the best Wi-fi. So I’m taking the opportunity to type this on my laptop with a physical keyboard.
Anxiety-wise, I think now that I’m sitting in the airport, sipping on an iced chai latte, I am feeling a better, not near-hyperventilation like a few hours before. In fact, I had been near-hyperventilation for the last few days.
I was getting cold feet about trip. There’s so many worries. As much as I tried to relax and look forward to my long-awaiting trip, my anxiety, as always, was holding me back. Darn you, anxiety! Always causing misery. Why can’t you leave me alone?
So many things to do, my brain kept telling me. You can’t go. I barely slept the night before my flight. My brain kept me all night with about a million thoughts. Why didn’t you purchase carry-on luggage for the flight? There’s no way you will bill all these people before your flight. You can’t place your trust in those people to take care of your garden.
All night long. Just thought after thought. Ugh!
I spent Tuesday night on the flight to Buffalo, New York and will be there at 5 AM. Hopefully I will get a few hours of shut-eye during the flight.
#WeekendCoffeeShare – 4 Days ’til Road Trip 2022
Good morning! Come on in, sit, and enjoy a drink. I discovered something good this week.
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#WeekendCoffeeShare – An Exceptional Long Week
Good morning! Come on in, sit, and enjoy a drink.
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Losing a Friend
Monday Thoughts
For some reason, I’m feeling anxious about this Monday.
It’s my final counseling session with my therapist and as I ponder on what to discuss, all I can think was yesterday, Sunday. So much about yesterday peeved me. The only parts that didn’t peeve me were the solo walk along the forest trail and all the wonderful photos I took on my walk.
It was actually mom’s idea to go to the forest yesterday. “I need to go breathe in some fresh air.”
She didn’t want to drive her car though and she didn’t want me to drive, so she dragged her sister and brother-in-law (BIL) along, assigning him the role of the driver for the trip. As usual, I was the navigator, which is the most annoying task ever since mom was doing the navigating from the backseat while telling her BIL to ignore everything I said.
The forest was wonderful – so cool (temperature-wise) and lush with greenery. I had a suspicion that it rained the night because the ground was wet and there were water droplets on the plants. I hurriedly abandoned the adults while I hunted for a location to practice long-exposure photography.
After taking all the long exposure photographs I had wanted, I began wandering down the forest trail while paying attention at my surrounding to find interesting photo compositions. After a while, I caught up with them as they were returning to the parking lot.
The next activity on mom’s agenda was food and her BIL suggested the only restaurant he knew – Burger King – and that was what mom wanted as well. In fact, it’s just about the only restaurant mom will eat at these days. Unfortunately, there was no Burger King nearby, which was odd considering all the other chain restaurants were nearby. I tried to search for the next best thing but they don’t like any other fast food restaurant. So I suggested Texas-style barbecue.
Her BIL agreed. However, when we arrived at the restaurant, she refused to order anything, and in the oddest fashion, she asked for a coffee. Um, coffee in a barbecue joint on a Sunday afternoon? The guy looked at her and then replied apologetically, “Sorry, we don’t have coffee.”
As the food arrived, after taking a bite of the beef brisket I ordered, she said, “The meat is overcooked. It’s terrible.”
Then she started reflecting on the barbecue joint we once gone to just outside of Austin, Texas. “The line was out the door and round the corner,” mom said and as she said, my anger level ticked up ever so slightly.
Why can’t she keep her opinion to herself? I thought and before I could stop myself, I said, “I ordered the brisket for me. If you don’t like it, order whatever you want for yourself.”
“I don’t want anything.” She pouted. The only reason you don’t want anything is because this isn’t Burger King, I thought.
As we got up to leave, while mom and her BIL went to dispose the trays, my aunt whispered to me, “Just do what she says,” which was the other thing that peeved me about yesterday’s outing.
Um, excuse me, I wanted to say, I’m not a yes-woman or a robot or a dog. I am entitled to my own emotions and opinions, but that’s when mom returned, ushering us to leave.
Wow, it looks like I have quite a bit to discuss with my therapist.
Monday Thoughts
Higher Power Intervention?
Lens-Artists Photo Challenge #195: Color Expressions
Anne from Slow Shutter Speed is the host for this week’s Lens-Artists Photo Challenge #195 with the topic of Color Expressions.
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Truthful Tuesday on a Thursday
Lens-Artists Photo Challenge #188: Special Places
This week, on Lens-Artists Photo Challenge #188, guest host Karina of Murtagh’s Meadow is exploring special places.
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Truthful Tuesday on a Wednesday 02-22-2022
This week, on Truthful Tuesday, host Frank from Thoughts and Theories asks:
Monday Thoughts
According to Fitbit, my stress management score has been around 75 for the past week. Maybe it’s because work is just about the only thing occupying my brain these days. So much to bill, so many accounts to reconcile.
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This is Another Story 