Friday Thoughts – Stop it with the Grandeur

I was writing a post a few nights ago when all of a sudden came a knock at my door. Before I could say, “come in,” mom entered and announced, “I can’t sleep.” What was I supposed to do? Should I had sung her a lullaby? Read her a story? Counted sheep with her?

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Friday Thoughts – 3 Short Thoughts

Thought #1

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#WeekendCoffeeShare – The Longest Day of the Week

Good morning! Come on in and grab a coffee or a tea, I have lots to tell you.

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#WeekendCoffeeShare – Last Day of Vacation

Good morning! My my my, is it October already?

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#WeekendCoffeeShare – Birthday in Canada

Good morning! I am on the road to Ottawa today from Toronto and since it’s my birthday, Starbucks is giving me a free drink. So take yours and join me on the road.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I have a feeling this would be a special birthday because I’m in Canada. Hopefully, mom will not ruin this day like she had ruined day 3 of the trip aka Thursday, September 22.

Today is day 5 of the trip and we are already a mess. My gums has been swollen since arriving in Buffalo, New York, probably from being dehydrated from the lack of drinking fountain in Canada. I can barely talk at times because of the pain and I’ve been irritated by the way mom makes me shout sometimes just so she could hear me even though shouting exacerbates the pain in my mouth.

Mom was having on and off fever yesterday, which she thinks might be an infection somewhere and not COVID. She was having pain in her legs before we left on our trip, which caused her to barely able to walk. Having walked almost 30 miles since Tuesday, she’s almost constantly complaining about the pain in her legs and guess who had to put up with it?

I swear, if we were a married couple, I would be the husband, putting up with all the complaints and temper tantrum and never getting what I want while needing to do everything else like keeping an eye on Google Maps while paying attention to the road signs because it seems like, when in Canada, one is unable to read road signs and drive at the same time. I hate being the navigator because sometimes, I have trouble reading the GPS and sometimes, the GPS has trouble pinging my location. That’s when the one-sided shouting matches begin because mom wanted everything to be perfect.

Unfortunately, I’m far from it.

Last night, she actually called me selfish for wanting to finish the trip. 4 days in and she’s wanting to go home. Well, we can’t because our plane tickets are non-refundable and to modify our plane fares cost more than the original plane tickets alone. She also suggested we could go hole up in Richmond or Philadelphia. Who’s the selfish one now?

I knew this would happen, why did I even agree or be excited to go on this trip in the first place?

Anyway, here are some of the memorable photos I shot on the trip so far. I have posted an entry for Day 1-3 of the trip so far, you can read each one by clicking on the links.

#weekendcoffeeshare is hosted by Natalie of Natalie the Explorer. I appreciate you stopping by and hope to chat again same time next week.

#WeekendCoffeeShare – 4 Days ’til Road Trip 2022

Good morning! Come on in, sit, and enjoy a drink. I discovered something good this week.

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#WeekendCoffeeShare – An Exceptional Long Week

Good morning! Come on in, sit, and enjoy a drink.

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#WeekendCoffeeShare – It’s been a week, alright

Hello and welcome to another #weekendcoffeeshare! Please come in, grab yourself something hot to drink, and let’s chat.

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#WeekendCoffeeShare – 5 Days Long Weekend

Hello and welcome to another #weekendcoffeeshare! Please come and join me for a conversation.

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Stress Talk #9: Just Trying to Do Good

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these because I haven’t had much time or reason to do one until now.

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I feel so conflicted

I feel so conflicted at times when someone reminds me that I’m a grown woman and don’t need permission from anyone to leave the house or go do the things I like, except somehow I do.

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Stress Talk #8: System Malfunction

It turned out this past weekend was that time of the year again – tax filing time. I hate that time of the year, right after the health insurance buying period (November 1 – mid-December). Even though she claims she knows more about taxes than me, my mom cannot file a single tax return without calling me over to help.

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Stress Talk #7: Deja Vu

Here we are, number 7 in this series. The last one was right before the new year. I didn’t think I’d do one this week but here we are – first week of 2021 – and I’m already stressed. Surprise, surprise. I almost sleep-walked two nights ago so that’s a sign.

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Stress Talk #6: Stress Has Got a Loud Voice

Stress does talk. It’s got has a voice. A loud one too, I tell ya!

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Stress Talk #5: Family of Baggers

I dislike it when people use these words: “This is nice but…” or “I like it but…” because the “but” implies otherwise. If you don’t like it, tell me, don’t give me such inconclusive answer, you know what it does to me. It irritates me and next thing I know, my Fitbit will tell me I’m stressed.

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Stress Talk #4: Mission Impossible: Meal Prep

Here comes more mantras: you’re not dirty, you are an intelligent human being, you are not a brainless person when it comes to buying stuff.

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Stress Talk #3: Everyone else must be miserable because I am

You are not selfish. You are not a bad person. You are good.

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Stress Talk #2: It’s Friday, so?

So… it’s another Friday or in the pandemic world of 2020, it’s just anther day.

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Stress Talk #1: I Don’t Know How to Relax

After speaking to my dietitian/therapist this week, I decided to start this weekly series as a way to de-stress from everyday life, to scream at my inner voice and so forth. It might be very random things and some might be humorous. I’ll try to keep it light.

I don’t know how to relax. Is that a weird thing to say? I don’t know how to relax. There, I said it. Can you blame me though even though I’m sitting here now writing this, feeling stressed to the brink?

From what?

From work, family, life.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re being rushed from place to place and never have a moment to just stop and look around you or contemplate on the present? That’s been me for the past twenty-some odd years. My mom wants things done right away. When I was living with my step-dad, he, too, wanted things done in the moment. When I was living with my relatives in China, everything must be done in an instant. It was what was expected of me but it’s never reciprocated.

You know what’s strange?

I never really noticed it until the recent years when I began working multiple jobs while going to school and then I’d come home and my mom would want me to do this and that. Maybe my internal stress meter has been slowly peaking and I didn’t realize it. Or maybe my age is catching up. I’m not as young as when I started this blog 7 years ago. I sometimes would look myself in the mirror and would find crow’s feet at the corners of my eyes.

I recently watched a documentary about stress. In it, eating was mentioned. It turned out sugar is less sweet when a person is stressed and foods are more delicious when one is stressed. Really? I decided to do a test and it’s absolutely right.

Maybe it’s why I’ve been overeating again, even being on an anti-diet. I think I am overeating because I’m stressed. “I feel like pulling my hair out,” I told my dietitian and honestly, I feel like I’m about to break down into one big sob.

I’m overeating because I’m constantly working excess of the 40-hour standard work week. My mom was saying, “the more overtime you work, the better.” I overeat because of the constant disruption. Everybody wants something from me and it seems like that’s the only time I worth something to them. Other times, I’m just a “silly” girl.

My 24-year-old cousin needs help registering from college classes, guess who he turn to? My uncle needs to shop for a car, guess who’s going to do that for him? The family needs health insurance, who will help them buy insurance?