Stress Talk #2: It’s Friday, so?


So… it’s another Friday or in the pandemic world of 2020, it’s just anther day.

Another 9+ hours work day awaits.

Another few dozens emails for me to answer. Another few dozens to send out.

Another day trying to de-stress from mom and her blaring YouTube marathons. She only has to work a few more hours to complete her 40-hour work week. So it’ll probably get obnoxious.

Another week wishing I don’t have to do overtime. Last week, I told my mom I got approved for 7 hours of overtime, she replied, “Why, can you not get approved for more?” More? Oh, why don’t you say, “work until you die?” I wanted to say but my brain stopped me as it knew the direction this is going.

Honestly, I’ve been so tired lately. I went to bed before 7:30 pm on Wednesday night and didn’t surface until almost 7 am Thursday. Even then, I could barely open my eyes. For once in a long time though, I was out cold. No dreaming (at least I don’t recollect). No almost-sleepwalking.

I caught myself almost-sleepwalking quite a few times in the last few months. It was terrifying. I used to only do that when I’m stressed. Maybe my body is trying to tell me something.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

You know what’s frustrating about 2020? Other than a global pandemic that has just about sucked all the fun out of living? Forcing people to stay home. No more eating out.

I have more craving than ever. I want mac n’ cheese. I want fries. I want a burger. I want non-KFC fried chicken (sadly, that’s the only fried chicken mom allows). Worst of all, I want something different, something to break this monotony of meals my mom makes every night even after I told her so many times not to cook my meals.

My mom and I now buy our own separate groceries. She likes the same old things – baby bok choy and egg noodles – while I like to try different things – black beans, sweet peppers, fingerling potatoes, salmon… Each time I come home with bags of groceries, she’d give me a look of disgust and say, “don’t eat so disgusting.”

“It’s veggies and high quality fish, how’s that disgusting?” I’d ask and she’d shake her head. What? I can’t have fish and the veggies I want? I’m tired of having the same thing over and over. Those meals don’t leave me satisfied at all. “Besides,” I’d tell her, “I didn’t buy it for you. So don’t eat it if you think it’s so gross.”

This situation makes me upset sometimes because people in the family seem to assume I like whatever they like even after I’ve told them so many times I don’t really like crab or shrimp or some of the foods they eat. I think I mentioned this somewhere in my past posts – no one listens to me.

Like for my birthday, the family decided to celebrate with a dozen blue crabs. I told mom before I don’t like blue crab but apparently everyone else like blue crab and who cares if it was my birthday. “It’s gonna be a fabulous dinner,” my mom said with excitement.

I raised my brows, “For you guys, maybe.” For me, I spent most of the meal devouring veggies.

“If I told you I wanted to celebrate my birthday with mac n’ cheese, would you had join me?” I asked my mom later when I told her I didn’t enjoy the birthday dinner.

Her face pinched as if to say no chance in hell.

You want to know what’s the other thing frustrating about 2020? People ending emails with “Be safe.”

At first, I thought it was good gesture but now, 8 months into working-from-home, it just sounds annoying.

Be safe from what? From air?

I think at this point, the only way to be “safe” might be to find somewhere in the mountainous wilderness and crawl into a self-dug hole. Even then, you’re not safe from bears and other creatures roaming in the area.

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