Friday Fictioneers: Daughter of a Narcissist

Published on by Yinglan

PHOTO PROMPT © Yvette Prior

As she sees the coffee pots and cups on the table, she takes a step forward only to take a step back the next moment. “Would you like some coffee?” He asks.

“I-,” she pauses then says slowly, “I’m not sure.”

“That’s not an answer.” He replies. “It’s either yes or no.”

“I-,” she begins, thinking. This decision-making thing is hard. It has always been her mother who made all her decisions but since she broke off her relationship with her mother, she’s been trying to stand on her own. She clears her throat, “Yes, I would love some coffee.”

(100 words)

 

Note: Ever since I was introduced to Narcissistic Personality Disorder by a fellow blogger and Facebook friend two days ago, I felt like I finally diagnosed myself and my mom. I now know why I always feel anxious and have trouble making any kind of decision for myself, by myself, and why I would always go through lengths to please everyone especially my mom. All of this is because I am the daughter of a narcissistic mother.

Each week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple hosts Friday Fictioneers where we’re challenged to write a piece of flash fiction in 100 words, more or less, based on the picture above.

29 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: Daughter of a Narcissist”

      1. Yinglan. It’s okay. I understand. Best of luck. I haven’t been getting along with one of mine; I’m moving out.

        The same Issues we fight about never make sense, aren’t really about me, more about this person’s issues. What is about me, is little things, minuscule things that I’ve been trying to watch for, along with helping out more, cooking etc. but it’s never enough or good enough. What I can’t do in time becomes a big deal or something out of place . . . Every 6 month’s to a year they come up & there’s a big fight. And it’s my fault this person feels like they’re walking on glass & I don’t get that. I can’t control how someone feels or why. I was told this person can’t see me as an adult so that’s why they can’t have a better relationship with me or can’t stand me. I make them resentful.

        This is BS to me. They apologized some, but that issue is still there — will be in the future. Underlying issues apparently. They’re words they can’t take back. Words like chastising me for going to a concert I saved for 6 months ago, paid for & went with a friend who is facing a serious illness at stage 4. Each memory is precious.

        Beyond that, after this fight, trust is gone. I forgive, but forgetting isn’t possible. For me anyways. It comes back to this feeling they get.

        I don’t know what else to do. What is it? They still blame me, & probably won’t ever see me as an adult, much like your mom sees you. They don’t have her issues, but other issues inside I think.

        Luckily, I’m finally well enough to have my own little apartment. It will be a big change, but I’m okay with that now. Just got to save my $ like crazy.

        So, you’re not alone. Although things with your mom are intense and worse. We all have issues with others sometimes, a person who raised us. For me it’s a lot of changes in a short time. I guess for you too, with the job, the car, the house, etc. So maybe we will both figure it out & be okay.
        You’ll know what’s best. Prayer, right? 🙏💕

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Wow, Amanda, I’m sorry this is happening to you and I applaud you to have the courage to move out. I’m still having trouble with that part. And I agree, no adult should be treated like a child and it isn’t right to have to walk on eggshells all the time.
        I’m glad you have saved enough for a little apartment. It will no doubt be a big change and no doubt the changes will be fast but I think the change will be good.
        I’m glad I’m not alone in this, that I have friends who have went through similar situations to give me little pushes and help along the way. I hope your situation improved soon and I’ll be praying for you.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Thanks Yinglan. I’ll be praying for you too. We can both do it. I’ll just be renting for awhile, but I have some $ invested that I can hopefully use to purchase a place in 5 years or so. Hopefully, I keep improving health wise, so I can work more too! Nope you are not alone; not ever. I’m sure you’ve friends at church and otherwise, who’d be willing to help you out too! Hugs

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I’ve been thinking about buying a place, just for myself because renting here is actually more expensive than buying. Unfortunately, I don’t have the down payment. So maybe I’ll be renting for a while too.

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Yeah it’s hard. Building that up. My brother just got a condo & that’s what he finds, now that he has his own place, he actually pays less. Plus, his utilities are part of his condo fees.

        Liked by 2 people

      6. I have actually found several condos and townhouses in my price range. I just have to go a little further out of the city but not as far as I am now. There are definitely some advantages to owning a home. At least, the money you pay each month is going toward a purpose and not just paying rent to help someone pay off their property. That’s actually awesome that his utilities are covered under the condo fees. I wish there’s something like that here.

        Liked by 2 people

      7. It’s hard to find. I just thought he had high condo fees, then found out his utilities were included. Sometimes one is but usually not both. But, it makes it easier for him b/c he knows what he’ll be charged each month. Same with his mortgage. He’s locked in for 5 years and here, its a buyers market right now. For condos definitely do your research. Talk to neighbors in a place your considering, look at the condo board and their funds incase something needs replacing. You don’t want to suddenly need $10, 000 for the roof. Don’t choose the bottom level as if the sewer backs up it does on that level. My friend experienced that. See what works for you. That you drive, have your car makes it easier. Some places charge extra for parking spots though.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Sadly, there is no “cure” for a personality disorder such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The smartest thing you can do is distance yourself and get some therapy to help you make the changes you know you need to make.

    And pardon me–my therapist hat just kind of magically slipped onto my head 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. And sadly, no one with this personality disorder is willing to go to therapy or even admit they have this problem but then, a crazy person would never admit to being crazy. And I totally agree, I need to distance myself. I’m trying, anyway, but it’s been hard because she’s been sending me on one guilt trip after another and I’m trying hard to ignore it.

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      Reply

      1. It’s a guilt trip only if you accept the ticket, Yinglan. You don’t have to attend every fight you’re invited to. Keep working at this–you’ll be so glad you did. Best wishes!

        Liked by 3 people

  8. Being free from someone means you must not only physically move way on your own but also stand and walk away on your own. They will say things that hurt, they will use guilt and they will always be the victim. I am an adult woman that has been “free” of a mother that didn’t know how to love unconditionally for over 25 years now. I still find myself questioning my self-worth at times and being indecisive on certain things. My advice to you is be strong and believe in yourself. It is okay to make mistakes, you are human and that is how you learn. Surround yourself with others that are kind and can laugh and enjoy the small things that do not involve materialistic things or self-serving. You will be okay, I promise. Taking that first step is scary by well worth the road you will travel on your own. Good luck and be well.

    Liked by 1 person

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