What are the things that divert your mind when you’re stressed out?

How do you cope with stress? What is your mind candy that makes you forget the cause of stress?

Because of my anxiety, I get stressed very easily especially when I can’t sleep and it makes me even stressed that I can’t talk about it with anyone in real life because mom will only say, “You should be the least stressed person in the world,” and none of her siblings come by anymore because everyone is afraid of her.

I suck at finding ways to deal with stress especially since my brief unemployment of 2018. So I can’t even list the ways I use to cope with stress as they don’t always work. Since 2018, I’ve always have to be on the move and never seem to be able to slow down. Yes, it’s been over 5 years and I’m still working to recover to the way before the period of constant anxiety, emotional abuse, and depression – all brought on by none other than the person I must now live with for probably the next 30 to 40 years.

I have been stressed lately because it’s been getting dark earlier and earlier and the days have been very gloomy lately. I think I’ve been hit with bouts of S.A.D – Seasonal Affective Disorder. I thought I was okay with staying at home but it turned out, I’m not. I’ve been waves of cabin fever coming on, sometimes I can deal with it, sometimes I can’t.

Like this past Saturday, after being roused at 6 AM because mom decided to pace around downstairs while talking to her cousin in China on the phone. I had trouble sleeping the night before and spent the night doom-scrolling my phone and playing games until nearly midnight. It was just before 6 AM when I heard her, it was like she was pacing next to me.

After breakfast, I sat on the couch cozying beneath my hand-made blanket attempting to read. Unfortunately, that was not possible, not when some YouTuber was shouting through mom’s tablet and it’s echoing throughout the house.

Finally, I decided to go for a walk where I hoped to be with my thoughts. I was glad mom didn’t come with. She’s been wanting to accompany me everywhere lately, like I’m a child who’s in need of a chaperone. With music in my ears, I embarked on my walk.

I was feeling a lot better by the time I finished walking the first lap but then my mind started running again. Great, I have cabin fever already. How am I going to get through winter?

I decided to walk another lap, hoping the music will drown out the thoughts. About half-way through the second lap, another thought came, I gotta take care of the raspberries. I wanted to take them out last year and replace them with something less thorny but decided to give them another shot. Nope, still thorny.

Suddenly, I became anxious, feeling I must get home at that very moment to purge the raspberries from the garden. I finished the lap and went straight into the garden because I knew if I walked through the front door, I would be stressed again as I was still frustrated with mom. With music still playing in my ears, I cut away all the thorny canes and then with a trowel, I began digging.

It was 2 hours later when I finished. Fingers and body aching, I could barely stand up but I’ll admit, I was feeling much better than 2 hours before. I guess the garden is really that therapeutic.

#SundayPoser