Friday night, I was at a party. It was nice and festive. There were more children than adults, the ratio of children to adult each table was about 6 to 2. In fact, our table was most likely the only table with the most adults, 6 adults and 4 children, two sat in chair while two sat on parents’ laps.
As always, before we left, mom fussed over my appearance. I’m sorry but I cannot change the way I look. On the way, there was a lot of traffic. What was a 45 minutes drive took us over an hour. When we arrived, I was a little surprised at how decorative the place was. 
We entered. Once again, mom fussed irritatingly about my appearance and that is one of the reasons I don’t like to go to social gathering with mom. We wrote our names on a name-tags and began wandering aimlessly from room-to-room. “I don’t know anyone here.” Mom finally concluded as we made our way into the half-full dining-hall. It turned out the people she knew just haven’t arrive yet.
The dining hall began to fill and soon, it was time to eat. I went first while mom waited at the table. It was a self-serve buffet. There was brisket, turkey (I think), coleslaw, potato salad, and roll. I quickly grabbed a little and returned to the table.
After this plate of food, I returned to grab a slice of pumpkin pie and some cookies. When I returned, for some reason, mom was looking irritated. I asked what’s wrong but it somehow made the situation worse. So I just silently ate my pie. Strangely enough though, when I returned from the disposal of my dessert plate, her mood had improved once again. That was weird and frustrated.
Great, now I’m irritated but not for long because I spied Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus making their way to the front of the room.
Everybody began singing Christmas tunes. I muttered along but I didn’t know the words. It was my first time going to this kind of Christmas party where an actual Santa Claus shows up and I have already passed the stage where I believed in the existence of Santa Claus. Who do I thank? Mom. She set everything straight on my first Christmas. Santa doesn’t exist.
Anyway, after the singing, all the kids followed Santa to another room where each kid got to sit on Santa’s lap for a picture. Mom urged me to go there and take pictures. I don’t know why. I don’t know who any of these people were and these kids were not of any relations to me but I went anyway. I ended up just taking a few pictures. Adults seem to like to move in front just as I’m about to press the shutter button.
About ten, fifteen minutes later, I returned and it’s then mom said it’s time for us to head home.

On the way back, she said rudely, “I’m not bringing you here next year. You don’t want to socialize.”
And this is the second reason why I don’t like to go anywhere with Mom. She constantly trying to find faults with me. It constantly feels like I’m being pulled in two different directions.
Maybe it’s not I don’t want to socialize but rather, I don’t have anything to socialize about. Almost all of these people are parents, what am I supposed to talk to them about?
Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge – Eye Spy
Note: These pictures came from my instagram, you can see more and follow me here.





Lovely post. I especially enjoyed Mr & Mrs Claus. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you.
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Quite strange.
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I know what you mean. I have always hated going to parties where I didn’t know anyone there or maybe just one or two. I’m better than I use to be, but really not one for starting a conversation with just anyone and if you don’t have anything in common it makes it even more awkward.
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That’s how I felt at the party, surrounded by a bunch of parents. It was very very awkward.
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this is a very good share… 🙂
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Thanks.
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I think your mother has low self esteem and rather than focusing on herself and improving her own happiness she turns it negative toward you. When she gets like that, remember this and remember it is her problem and not yours.
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Maybe but it’s hard to remember that when she’s screaming in my ears.
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I know, I don’t know how you put up with it.
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Me neither but now, all I can tell myself is my life will be better in 12 more months.
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Oh, does that mean you will be moving out of her house in 12 months?
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That’s what I’m hoping for.
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I think it will be really good for you. I wish you the best of luck.
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Thank you.
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Really good post though I’m a little worried about Mrs Claus – is she okay? I mean, she seems armless enough…..great blog by the way.
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Ha ha, I noticed that. I think she had just put her arms behind her for a minute. Thank you for reading.
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Sounds like a great party but even I don’t like parties where I don’t know anyone.
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It was a fun party, just wish my mom would stop being so controlling and fussy about my appearance and other aspects.
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Sounds like your Mom wants to socialize but is too shy so she tries to have you socialize for her…and then gets upset because either you don’t or you don’t do it the way she wants you too. I think she’s living vicariously through you…next time have her join you when she sends you off to do something…that’s what she really wants anyways! Good luck…
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I think you might be right. Maybe that’s what she’s trying to do.
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Moms can be the most hurtful people. I don’t think mine every said anything positive to or about me. One day I was trying on some shorts that she didn’t want anymore. She nodded and said, “They don’t look as bad as I thought they would.” Later, my husband said, “That was the nicest thing she ever said to you”.
Mom died some years ago, but I still haven’t gotten over it. She couldn’t raise confident children like that.
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Yes, I think that was a compliment in mom-speak and I agree, it seems like moms like to suck the confidence out of their children, perhaps to see if their children can rise above it.
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This is a nice post, Yinglan, but I commenting for a different reason. I just want to tell you a very personal Merry Christmas. I’m always complimented by your likes and comments on my posts. I see you read “We are His Reason” and left a like. Thank you for now and always! Hope you have a blessed 2016. Merry Christmas!
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Oneta, I’ve always enjoyed your posts. Thank you for reading and commenting on my post. I wish you have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 🙂
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Children learn what they live. How was your mother raised and what type of people were your grandparents? This might give a clue as to why she treats you this way and what her expectations are. It probably has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her own self. Try not to take it personally; you have a right to be your own person!
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I don’t know much about my grandmother but my grandfather beat the crap out of the them but that’s when they’re children. Even to me, he was always a man with a cruel temper. Maybe she had inherited his temper.
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That explains a lot…as difficult as it is, you must try not to take her attacks personally. Her real issues are with herself and her childhood, not you. Good luck & blessings to you.
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Thank you.
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LULU is right Yinglan. Your mother is wrestling with her own issues and she is taking them out on you. I’m sorry you had to go through that situation. Fortunately, the event is over even though what your mom said may linger, what she said are her issues not yours. I hope 2016 brings many happier and more pleasant memories.
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Thank you for your soothing words.
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