Good Monday morning. Thank you for joining me for #WeekendCoffeeShare on a Monday. I am once again at work. So come and enjoy a cup of hot beverage with me.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you I spent the last two days catching up on my sleep and running errands with my mom. After the 48-hour work week, I was beyond exhausted. My days begin at 5 am now and even though I wish it was later, I don’t really care now, as long as I can get my mom to stop talking.
She lectures me on everything and anything. She just want to control everything.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you I find myself constantly swallowing sobs. Even at work, I would all of the sudden feel a sob in my throat, wanting to get out. Why does she want to control everything? She makes everyone around her so miserable, why?
If we were having coffee, I would tell you I felt that same feeling last Friday as I had two years ago when my mom threatened to kick me out. It felt like deja vu or was it paranoia? I can never tell but it was the feeling. I hated that feeling.
I shouldn’t have to ask permission when I want to buy something. It’s my money.
All I wanted was an extra power bank for my tablet, one with a smaller number of milli-amp hour (mAh) so I don’t have to bring my big power bank home from work every day. If you don’t know what a power bank is, it’s a gadget that holds power so you don’t need an electrical outlet to charge your phone or in my case, a tablet.
Did that warrant an-hour-long-lecture?
No, it did not. Essentially, she gave me a dozen reasons of why I shouldn’t get one. “Just shut up,” I screamed at her finally. “I don’t want to hear it anymore.” I almost said, “I’m sorry. You’re right.” But I wasn’t about to apologize for that. Call me stubborn but I don’t think I need permission to purchase something.
We did not speak for the remainder of the night and Saturday morning. It honestly made me feel sad and angry to get lectured like that but I felt a little proud to speak up because it showed her I’m not her little minion that she can control.
It also made me anxious because it sounded like she was going to play that “kick me out.” card again but she can’t this time since this is my house. Still, I couldn’t shake that uneasy feeling at all.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you I am looking forward to August. Not only my mom is going to China again at the end of the month, I’m planning a road trip for the Labor Day weekend and I am super excited about it. It’s the thing that will keep me going for the next month.
If we were having coffee, I would thank you for joining me this week and hopefully, I will be back this weekend.