#WeekendCoffeeShare: A Little Tired, Frustrated, and Paranoid


Photo by Jason Wong on Unsplash

Good Saturday morning! Thank you for finally joining me for a #weekendcoffeeshare on a weekend. Come on into my virtual coffee-room and have a cup of joe with me.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you today will be another hot day. The temperature has been pretty much the same this past week – around 96 to 98-degree-Fahrenheit (around 37-degree-celsius). The air-conditioner has been on almost non-stop at my house except at night because my mom shuts it off right after dinner.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I had secretly moved a power-bank for my tablet and an extra charging cable to my workplace.

I felt so guilty of buying all these things behind my mom’s back. But then, if she had known of the purchases, I would had been sent to the interrogation room and I’m not in the mood to be interrogated after my 9.25-hour shift at work. After all, I did buy it with my own money.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

You know what’s frustrating? She seems to have this idea that I’m some kind of super human, that I shouldn’t be tired after working a long day and that I should be over-joy working such a long day.

*sigh

If we were having coffee, I would tell you my mom’s friend is coming for a visit for the next week. My mom is super excited.

When she got the news a few days ago, she immediately dove into cleaning. That night, she vacuumed the entired house and cleaned out my bathroom even though I cleaned it the day before. She rearranged my stuff to the point I was having trouble finding my things that night.

That caused me so much frustration. First of all, the guest will stay in the basement since I doubt she can endure upstairs in this heat. Thus, she will be using the basement bathroom, not my upstairs bathroom. So why does my bathroom need to be cleaned again?

Anyway, since her friend will be in town, I guess I’ll be busy for the next week.

Photo by Simone Acquaroli on Unsplash

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I might be a little paranoid for planning to bring a voice recorder to work on Monday.

I have noticed two of my co-workers like to gossip. Over the last several weeks, I found them saying mean things behind my fellow co-worker’s, also a new hire like me, back.

This makes me furious and curious. I am furious of theiir gossip but at the same time, I want to find out what mean things they say about me behind my back especially after what happened two days ago.

Basically, one of the agencies I’m responsible for emailed in and requested their invoices be sent to a different location.

What’s so hard about that?

One of my rude co-workers said, “You’re setting yourself up to fail.” While another said, “If you honor this request for one agency, all of the other agencies will be expecting you to honor the same request.”

Well, no, I thought. This agency happened to be a small town and relies on the county-level to fund its emergency dispatch program. What’s wrong with that? These agencies are your customers. They are the ones paying you. Shouldn’t you honor such a small request?

I remember the mean things they said about my co-worker. They called him incompetent and a train-wreck when he’s been with the  company for less than a month and trying his best because no one was willing to train him on his job duties.

I sometimes feel like I’ve been thrown to the wolves – either battle the wolves and survive or get eaten and die. I intend to survive because I happen to like this job.

So I’m going to try to catch them in the act. Then, maybe someone will be able to do something about such rude behavior.

If we were having coffee, I would thank you for joining me this week and hopefully, I will be back this weekend.

17 thoughts on “#WeekendCoffeeShare: A Little Tired, Frustrated, and Paranoid

  1. Wow! Yinglan – please proceed with extreme caution – on both fronts you discussed.

    First: you mom sounds compulsive about cleaning and/or appearance before this friend. I doubt that you could tame this compulsion and arguing about it may prove to be like arguing with gravity. You could easily stir up a lot of grief but not accomplish anything else.

    Second: regarding your co-workers and their bad-mouthing gossip. I would advise you NOT to record their voices without their knowledge. In many places, this is highly illegal and could get you into a lot more trouble than them regardless of what they say.

    What is not illegal is using that same recorder to record your own voice describing the date and time that you overheard them say . This then becomes just your verbal notebook that some might suspect was just you badmouthing them yourself, but offered as your notes – over say multiple days or weeks, would carry some weight with the manager or HR if you wanted to proceed with raising a action against them. You could also do roughly the same thing with written notes in a journal, but that takes more time of your busy day.

    It is crummy when people act like this at work where the customer has a right to expect a degree of professionalism. Just recall, no matter what you do to remain the adult in the process.

    One of the things that managers really – really value is when one person can find themselves in a situation like yours, stay calm and find a way to both avoid drama and coach the gossips to act more professional. Harder to do of course, but you have always sounded very mature and full of grace yourself, so perhaps some of that cleverness you have naturally will suggest some plan where everyone wins.

    Please, whatever you do, avoid putting yourself at risk.

    Wishing gobs of wisdom for you my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh, she’s compulsive about cleaning and appearance period. Not just in front of her friend. And it’s been proven that it cannot be stopped.
      Recording maybe illegal in some places but I doubt anyone will believe in such gossip without some actual evidence of the harmful things said. However, I learned from my co-worker that she actually recorded their gossip and showed it to HR and they had done very little. So apparently, that’s not the way to go.

      Like

  2. If there are two of them indulging in this terrible behavior they will eventually turn on each other. Stay innocent and out of it as far as you are able. I’ve dealt with other employees being rotten to me and others, and almost without fail, they are caught in it by those in authority.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Just go to this now. I’m sorry about your Mom, but your an adult with an ownership in your house, she should not be allowed in your spaces. As an adult, you are lap buying stuff with your money & that is none of your Mom’s business. You work 2 jobs and you have a right to purchase what you please. If she starts interrogating you, walk away and go to your room. Ignore her. I think it will take sometime for her to get the message, but she does not seems to realize you’re no longer a little girl and while she deserves your respect, you do not have to please her, live life according to her ways, or justify any purchase you make to her. It’s not her $. I understand she’s very difficult and I hope staying longer at work gives you some peace. I do think u need your own space, however possible that is. How she treats u is not right, it’s taking advantage of you. I realize too, cultural differences but those differences can only justify so much, and I think that’s past. But, it’s my thoughts, not yours. It just makes me angry. Also, I’d say gossipy coworkers are pretty common. I experienced at one of my first jobs especially. Best to ignore them, and not get involved unless the insults get really terrible, then talk to your boss with the evidence as long as you can remain anonymous. Just do your work and don’t give a thought to them. They don’t deserve it. It’s hard, but best advice I received.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I actually discovered something new this week. If I take what I buy to work, then she won’t interrogate me because we’re not at home, see? She came to my cubicle this week, saw my fake flower decor, asked me where I got it. I told her I bought it. When? She asked. When you’re not at home. I answered. She gave me this look like you go shopping when I’m not home? I returned a look that read, yeah, I have a life you know.

      She didn’t question me anymore after that.

      The same thing happened a few days ago when she came by my cubicle again and saw my three potted herbs. I’m experimenting growing herb beneath the bright florescent light above my head. She just rolled my eyes and walked away. I was super relieved and though, I am still holding my breath on when she will continue that conversation, I have a feeling she has forgotten all about.

      As for the co-workers, my supervisor seems to believe everything they say and in the most recent department, I had the sudden feeling that they don’t want us new people there and there are three new hires. Even though they said “it’s the entire department,” I got this feeling they were talking about us. So for now, I guess, I’ll just try my best to get through my probationary period which is 6 months. I should be fine after Thanksgiving. Right now, I think those gossipers are just testing us out, to see if we are someone who can be bullied and survive. I’ve been bullied for most of my life. So I guess I’m a survivor.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad your mom atleast, respects you and your choices in public/work that helps. And your right, hopefully she forgets to talk about it at Home or ever — or she chooses not too.
        I’m sorry you get bullied, it’s not good. But, I think your right. Often you go to a new place and people are judgmental of new people, no matter who they are. I think your right doing your work well and holding on for the six-months too. I guess if they treat you poorly and don’t stop, the taping is a good idea to show your supervisor and HR exactly what’s happening. I think any new work situation can be a struggle, and people are kind of waiting to see how it works out. I wonder if past newbies were bad workers? Sometimes that can be the case, then they are surprised that you do a good job, as I’m sure you do. I think if you can be kind and polite to them (but don’t let them put you down to your face or when you are right beside them and overhear), and do your best work for them, that’s a good way to try to get on their good side. Find out what you have in common too. Or with women at least (even men), once you talk to them a bit more for business, compliment their shoes, or outfit, or a guys tie. And if you don’t want to come across a certain way with guys ask if their girlfriend or wife picked it out. If they say yes, you say she has good taste. If not, you can say they have good taste and your impressed. People like compliments no matter where. If you can be genuine about them, even better. You can compliment their work too, say they’re so organized or handle a difficult client well.
        Anyways, more thoughts. Good luck though. I want this to work out well for you, as the old place was not so good.
        Enjoy your weekend. It’s a long weekend here, is it in the US? Often they kind of coincide.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Really? What holiday is it? Is it Labor Day? For me, I have a long weekend coming up at the end of the month. I got an early start this weekend though when I had to go home early to wait for the refrigerator repair man.
        Thank you, as always, for your thoughts and advise. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • We have Labor Day too. But we call it “Labour” Day, I think they must in Australia and Britain too. Lol 😝 We just have the August long weekend.

        Usually, people either get this weekend off or “Family Day” in Feb, unless they have vacation. Some places give you both. It’s hard to choose between time off when it’s cold and no one wants to go into work, or in August when it’s usually beautiful outside. Talk care

        Liked by 1 person

      • So just a random long weekend? That sounds great, wish we have that here. The next long weekend here will be the 1st of September. I’m looking forward to that since I’m taking a road trip.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lol. Yeah, I never thought of the name before. We just call it the August long weekend. But it’s a civic holiday celebrated the first Monday of August. However, it’s not a statutory holiday. So, you should get it off, but some companies don’t let people. I think that’s why people have the option of this holiday, or the one on Feb, which in Alberta and some other provinces, is called family day. Maybe it’s not national so it’s a choice whether companies celebrate/ give time off on provincial holidays. We do get the Labor Day long and then we have an earlier thanksgiving in October sometime.
        Before this we get July long for Canada day. Iif companies are to stingy with holidays, people use a sick day or a vacation day anyways. So, it’s to their benefit to give people an extra long weekend 🙂 They come back rested and work. Those who have to stay and work one of these days, don’t do much and many other companies aren’t open so it’s kind of useless lol.
        Hope you have a good weekend. Your camera pics looked great hiking with your mom and her friend 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow! That’s quite a bit of extra holiday and it sounds awesome. There’s not many holidays where we get a day off here. No wonder people are so much nicer in Canada. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Yinglan,
    It’s been a while since I last visit your site.., I’d love to join you for a chat/catch-up over coffee.
    Well, I heard you when you mention those girls at work who loves gossiping… Unfortunately people like them and have mean spirits are everywhere, we can’t stop them or change them unless they realise their own unhappiness and are seeking for help.

    I wish you enjoy the company of your mother’s friend too!

    Best regards,

    Vivienne (link is to my current travel & lifestyle blog)

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree, Vivienne, we can’t stop those mean people unless they finally realize they’re unhappy. I guess the best would be to try our best to ignore them and focus on the work on hand.

      And yes, I did quite end up enjoying my mother’s friend’s company.

      Thank you for reading and dropping by. 🙂

      Like

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