#WeekendCoffeeShare: Christmas Lights

Good Sunday morning! Welcome to another weekend of #weekendcoffeeshare. Come in for a cup of steamy hot coffee, tea, cocoa, or whatever. I’m happy to say I still like my coffee sugar-free with a splash of creamy almond milk.

If we were having coffee, I would first show you of all the new photos I’ve taken this week. I’m still post-processing them through Adobe Lightroom but here are a few of my favorites taken on Thursday night when my mom, my aunt, cousin, and I went to see the Christmas lights at the city park. Apparently, the theme this year is dinosaurs and other cute and cuddly animals.

Here are my favorites so far from wandering around the mall across from my work in downtown Salt Lake City on Friday night.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I am having a slight sugar withdraw at the moment. I fell off the sugar wagon earlier in the week because of a donut and peanut butter bars. My department at work was doing a 12 days of Christmas activity where for each of the 12 workdays before Christmas, two people are responsible for bringing treats to the office. Surprisingly, none of the treats were repeated in the 12 days.

Anyway, I was doing so well on my no-refined-sugar-diet until someone brought three dozens of donuts and another person brought peanut butter bars and brownies on the same day. Well, I can only hold out for so long before craving; I guess I’m not strong enough for this kind of temptation. After overdosing on sugar that day, I started eating the candies in my drawer again.

I began that diet again on Friday and got a massive headache and shaky hands because of it. I felt a little better on Saturday but still, I felt like someone is constantly knocking on my skull.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you my anxiety isn’t any better this week if not worst. I have been repeating my usual mantra “Everything will eventually get better” but it’s looking as though the more I repeat this mantra, the worst things get.

For one thing, I can’t seem to get a moment of peace and quiet to myself. They are always shouting even when they’re sitting next to each other. I tried shutting myself in my room but I could still hear them.

For another, my mom seems to be blind to their disinterest in everything. They don’t seem to be interested in going anywhere. Each time we go somewhere that’s not the grocery store or the usual Chinese restaurant, they’ll complain about snow, the cold, or they’ll stall until my mom’s patience wears out and cancels the trip. Through their behavior, I can tell they don’t want to do anything other than sleep and eat.

My mom, on the other hand, is spoiling them like children. She planted this idea in their head that everything I say is exaggerated and BS. I have been attempting to impose some house rules during the last few days but every time I tried to do so, my mom would go behind my back and tell them to ignore me. Does anyone care about the fact that I’m paying the bills?

The dilemma is I have trouble telling them what they can and can’t do because of this stupid cultural rule that was drilled into my head when I was a child. Never tell an elder what they can and can’t do.

Remember last week I said my cousin was cool. It turned out he’s no better. I offered him opportunities to make friends and assimilate into U.S. society but just like his mother, he declined every opportunity. I invited him to a New Year Eve party, he declined. A dance on Valentine’s Day? Nope. Camping in May? Not a chance.

He’s beginning to look a lot like my former students, the ones I used to teach English-as-a-second-language, the ones who don’t care one bit about socializing and just want to sit in front of a computer screen.

Before you go, I will wish you have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. I hope to see you back next week to wrap up 2018.

6 thoughts on “#WeekendCoffeeShare: Christmas Lights

  1. I’m so sorry Yinglan. I imagine you’ll be doing a lot of the Christmas baking/cooking and having too many cooks in the kitchen or house, is stressful on top of anxiety and other house problems. I think we talked about it before, but it really is quite easy to drive to a Home Depot, Lowe’s whatever and get a door knob to replace yours so you can lock your door. Even if it’s a cheap lock, it’s bwtter than nothing. As for still hearing them, I would turn your music up (which can also be relaxing music) our your ear buds in and ignore all sound. If not those big head phones are really in. Thecover yoir entire ear and are supposed to block out outside sounds while still being comfortable. At other times I would say earplugs & turn on the music a bit or set find an app (I know there’s a few) that play calm music. That’s all
    I can think of for being at home.
    You can’t change your mom or Aunt, they’re treatment isn’t right. I imagine the US is very new for your cousin and he is used to being bossed around too and is probably equally powerless to his mom. All you can do
    Is offer an invite then go to your fun events and forget about your cousin. It’s his choice. Perhaps university will help him be more social? In many ways he won’t have a choice. But just do your own thing, take care of you, & when you can leave stay out as long as you can. If you have a few ladies your friends with & know better from
    Church maybe u can escape a couple days and sleepover over a night, help them or do stuff with them and escape your mom/Aunt.

    Just trying to help as usual. Although Ionia my ideas don’t always work. Have a wonderful Christmas and New Years despite. You are such a strong person, but to be strong you need a break too. If you can find a way I’d do it! Hugs and praying for you. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to do much baking since they’d arrived. They are constantly occupying my kitchen making the three meals. They spend an average of 90 minutes to 2 hours cooking each meal. Can you imagine that? That’s a lot of hours gone a day just cooking. And my mom is very meticulous when it comes to cooking. She wants all the vegetables to be washed in a specific way that no one but her seem to be able to master. Each time she points out anyone’s flaws makes me anxious because of the usual shouting that pursues.
      I went shopping yesterday after church for two hours yesterday. That made me feel a little better and I managed to get myself some clothes for running on the treadmill.
      I watch tv and listen to music on my tablet now with my ears plugged but often times I can still hear them despite the earbuds are noise-cancelling which gets annoying sometimes like this morning when I was doing crunches, through my music, I could hear them snickering and talking about my big thighs, which is rude on so many levels.
      I tried inviting them to all types of social events and they rejected me every time. I don’t understand them. They come to the U.S but don’t want to adapt the culture. On the contrary, they want me to adapt Chinese culture again and it’s hard because I grew up in the U.S.
      At the moment, my escape has been church and Sunday night Bible study and an occasional party with other single members of the church. Other than that, I guess I will be stuck in my room more now and trying my best to ignore them.
      Thank you for reading and your suggestions. You are a good friend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sorry your new fam and mom is making it tougher on you.I’m glad you’re finding some relief, and being drawn towards God is never a bad thing, especially when you need strength. You are a good friend too. I’m glad you think I am; I wish I had a better solution for you. Keep saving towards your apartment. Merry Christmas, despite the chaos and frustration may you find peace in the manger.

        Liked by 1 person

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