It’s once again Monday and I have a feeling this is going to be a rough week.
First of all, restful weekend? Wouldn’t dream of it. My emotions were a mess this past weekend. There were many instances when I just want to break down in tears. I actually did one of those times but the other times, I just swallowed my tears instead. There were also many instances when I thought I was losing my mind because my emotions were all over the place. I also kept forgetting what I was doing and that I’ve already done the task.
Irritated, frustrated, tired, anxious were just a few emotions I felt over the weekend though I don’t know why I was so overwhelmed with this emotions.
Let me ask you this... Do you ever spend a weekend just stay in and not work on or care about anything? Like ignore phone calls, questions from others, and just spend the time reflecting and caring for yourself?
That was exactly what I wanted but sadly could not have.
On Saturday, just when I thought I’d sleep in, Mom woke me up with a question I can’t remember now other than it’s got something to do with laws. My brain was a total fog. Wait, what? I wouldn’t know the answer to that question. I’m not a lawyer.
But before I could answer her, she stomped downstairs, probably waiting for me to chase after her like a puppy.
Later that morning, after getting around 30 minutes to myself, she did her usual thing of yelling and complaining about no one’s helping her to take care of the lawn over at her house, which she’s refusing to live in, I was in the backyard pruning grapevines and the peach tree.
In the meantime, my phone kept pinging. It was my aunt asking questions. Questions after questions like I’m Google. For example, “Should I turn off my heat on a warm day?” or “Where can I get an oxygen machine?”
I was so tired that day, I went to bed at 8 PM. I had zero energy to sit up and answer the door for Trick-or-Treaters.
I slept for over 12 hours that night and was still tired on Sunday. Again, Mom woke me up early. Why does she do that? Couldn’t she tell I was tired? “You shouldn’t be tired,” she said when I told her, “I should be tired, not you.”
Beside being exhausted, I was also in pain on Sunday. There’s a spot on the right side of my back, near my shoulder, that hurts (sorta like an acute pain) every time I reach a certain stress level.
Still, there was yard work to be done, according to Mom and when I bent down, pain shot up my knees and lower back. I had no choice but to work slowly, which upset Mom. “I told you, my back hurts.” I had been saying the same thing over and over the whole day but no one took me seriously.
It angered me to see that everyone treated me like a liar, like the person who cried wolf. I wanted to cry at that moment especially when my other aunt came out that moment and basically laughed in my face.
Later that night, my phone pinged, another question from my aunt, “When do we fall back an hour?”
“Why can’t your family ask Google?” I told my mom.
“Why should they? You’re their Google.” Mom replied.
I clenched and relaxed my fist, “One day, I’m going to leave and never come back.”
“Not even when there’s money involved?” Mom said. The money card, how low.