How easily are you able to forgive yourself?

I would say it depend on the situation because in certain situations, forgiveness comes with regret. Overall though, I would say I tend to forgive myself quite easily despite having pangs of regret later.

Back to that “certain situation”, two major scenarios came to mind – February 2016 and Christmas Eve 2019. I won’t go into details of what exactly happened as I don’t feel like re-living those events in yet another post. One or two posts is enough when it comes to this kind of things. I’ve written about both with the linked posts. If you must know what happened, you’ll have to read those posts.

But yeah, I have forgiven myself for choosing to stay or return home in both scenarios but it doesn’t mean there wasn’t regret even though such regret is futile. There are still days when I wonder how it would had turn out if I stuck and went through with my decision back in 2016. If I had, would the event from 2019 had happened? Or would I be somewhere faraway, living a totally different life, a happier life?

At the end of the day though, I know wondering about that pile of “what ifs” is pointless because decisions have already been made and the past cannot be changed. So I might as well forgive and move on.