Sunday Poser #110 – Feeling Embarrassed?

What make you feel shy or embarrassed?

I don’t know whether I can call myself shy or socially awkward. I don’t often know how to behave in a social setting and I have what Sadje calls the “Foot in my mouth disease.” I either close myself off to strangers or I say too much. Most of the time, it’s too much and I would find myself in an embarrassingly awkward situation.

I think the reason I tend to go off talking about myself is because I feel I often keep too many thoughts bottled up inside, thoughts which I can’t share with anyone I know. As for why my mouth and brain feel the need to unload that information onto an acquaintance or a stranger, beats me.

Being the center of attention also makes me feel embarrassed. Like when I got named Employee of the Quarter or when my manager gave me praises, I would find myself blushing, feeling embarrassed. This is mostly because after constantly being criticized, I’m not sure how to react or respond to praises. I still don’t but I think often times, a simple “thank you” is suffice.

I remember the only person who reacted negatively to my Employee of the Quarter award was my mom who said, “they only gave you this award to give you more work.”

I didn’t take her words to heart even though it hurt. I think the most important thing is my manager is happy with my work.


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