Oh, you cannot believe how often I get jealous of people who are smarter than me, pretty than me, thinner than me, and taller than me. Guess where I get that from? My mother.
She’s always comparing me to her friends’ sons and daughters. I can tell she’s envious and disappointed when one of her friends tell her their kids landed in an ivy league university and where did I end up? A cheap college that nobody knows about.
I remember there was this one time in 7th grade when I got just absolutely jealous I got in a fight with my former best friend. It was an actual fight, with clawing and punching. Have you seen a cat fight in movies? It’s exactly like that. I feel a little embarrassed just talking about it.
I was envious that she got a new friend and abandoned me, left me to eat my lunch alone day after day. I mean you’re my best friend, right? At least you tell people that. So shouldn’t you at least act like one?
That was before my little group came along and honestly, that felt like it was the darkest period during all of middle school. Wait, is there even a good period during middle school? With all the teasing?
Hush, yes there is! Every movie has a climax, right? Let it be mine.
Anyway, the new girl was rude, obnoxious, and foul. I mean her language. She couldn’t get through one sentence without swearing. Like if people’s wondering where someone is, they would say. “Where is she?” or “Where is he?” Here’s how she would say it and I’m not kidding. This was literally how she spoke. “Where the f*** is that SOB?” I abbreviate but you know what I mean.
For a girl, in my opinion, that’s as foul as you can get. Even when she spoke in Chinese, the foulness in her language was equal to that of English. Seriously, I don’t know what my former best friend saw in that girl.
Every afternoon, when my former best friend came over to my home for tutoring, when we’re on break, she would talk endlessly about her new friend. How pretty she was, what makeup she used, pretty trivial teenage conversation. It just made me so jealous because she would never talk about me that way to other people.
So one day on break, I warned her. “If you say one more word about her, I will…” What do people say in movie right before fights? No idea.
She grinned. “You’ll what?”
I threw a light punch at her. I don’t think it even hurt. Most people including my former best friend say my punches are nothing to them but she reacted alright. Dramatically whinny. “Ow!” Then the fight began. We were on top of one another in a matter of second, rolling around the couch. Neither of us was really hurt physically but emotionally, I was more hurt than she was. The fact that she chose this new girl to be her best friend really upset me. I mean, what does she have that I don’t have?
Well, she’s smarter and prettier. That’s not the point here. The point here is you don’t abandon friends. Period.
Tying back to yesterday’s post, I guess I don’t really have forgiveness in me either. The fact that I still remember everything about that day and 7th grade just proves it.