Good afternoon and thank you for joining me for this lovely chat on this Saturday. With the declining temperature each day, I can really use a hot drink, as long as it’s hot and yummy.

If we were having this lovely chat this afternoon, I would tell you I’ve decided to join #weekendcoffeeshare again after learning there’s a new host, Eclectic Alli and she’s got the blue froggy working again. Yay!!! However, to challenge myself to write more posts, I’m doing both #weekendcoffeeshare and #DSFweeklyrewind.

Why am I challenging myself to write more posts? Because I feel like my English deteriorating, that’s why. I used to have little to no trouble communicating with people in English but lately, I found myself stuttering and choosing the verb tenses and words. Also, I’m still having trouble writing my speech for Toastmaster. I’ve already delayed the speech for a month and as of now, I’m still staring at a blank page.

You may think, well you don’t seem to have trouble writing blog posts. That’s where you’re mistaken.

My time to write a post used to be calculated by minutes but now, it’s calculated by hours and sometimes, days. I’m just having a lot of trouble putting my thoughts into English words and I believe that’s the consequence of having Chinese colleagues. If they don’t have to speak English, they won’t speak English.

So I’m attempting to write more on my blog, to challenge myself to get back to having English thoughts and doing other things with English. Did you know I used to have conversations with myself whenever I’m alone in car? Those conversations used to be in English but now, they’re in Chinese. Chinese!

If we were having this lovely chat, I would also tell you I’ve been feeling angry and frustrated this week. I’ve been feeling angry for the same reason for a long time – people undermine me on the things I do. I know some are just looking out for me but can you show a little trust? After all, I’m not a little girl anymore.

Like last week, my mom came home from training and I showed her my made-from-scratch dinner rolls. The words that came out of her mouth was, “are they sour?”

What? No, of course not. Did I not tell her I already ate three?

The week before last, mean Mr. COO sent me out to the factory to count inventory when my colleague did the same thing the day before. Then he stood over my cubicle, questioning my method of recording inventory. Do I record when the inventory comes in or when it goes out? Do I use U.S. ton or metric ton for unit? How do I know the amount of inventory present? He made me feel very dumb, like one of those accounting students who are just starting to learn about debits and credits.

Does he really think that low of me? I worked in this company for five-months and hadn’t had a major screw-up. Besides, even if I tell him my method of recording inventory, he wouldn’t understand. No accounting background. And yes, I’ve tried explaining to him once before, he didn’t understand a word I said. So screw it, I’m not repeating myself.

My colleagues also do this to me sometimes, questioning me whether I recorded certain expenses correctly when I’m the only one with the knowledge. This frustrates me so much, I tell ya.

Do adults do this to each other? I mean, the older adults, even by one year, question the younger adult? It would make me feel so much better to know I’m not the only one.

If we were having this lovely conversation, I would thank you for joining me and hopefully we both can be here again next weekend having hot drinks.