Sometimes, I wish I can go to the top of a mountain and scream, “I am a capable person.”
One of my biggest pet peeves in life is that people tend to judge me based on appearance. I am 4-foot-8-inches or 1.43 meter tall. I might be the shortest person but that doesn’t mean I am completely incapable.
I once told my doctor my mother thinks I’m autistic. He laughed, “You have a double degree in Civil Engineering and Accounting. You know how to drive and you know how to take yourself to the doctors. I would say you are a very capable young woman.”
Thank you, doctor. Unfortunately there will always be a few people who will look me up and down and think the least of me.
A few weeks ago, as I was preparing for my lunch – stirring some sausages with my favorite silicone spatula – the moment I turned around to grab the bowl of broccoli, mom immediately grabbed her gigantic wooden spatula and stirred the sausages. “What are you doing?” I asked. Inside, I was thinking, how could she use such large spatula in a 6-inch frying pan?
“You can’t use that spatula.” She said.
“Why not? It’s heat resistance up to 450-degrees.” And I was not even on high heat.
She scoffed, “Don’t tell me you believe that.”
“I believe in labels.” I stated as a matter of fact. “Now, let me prep my lunch in peace.”
“You need to let the fat render.” She continued, ignoring what I’ve just said.
“You know this isn’t my first time to cook sausages, right? I’ve cooked this a dozen times. I know what it’s supposed to happen. If I need your help, I’ll ask.” Immediately, she tossed her wooden spatula into the sink and stormed off while I continued to stir with my smaller spatula.
After leaving me at 16 for over a year, you would think she’d deem me capable. I never missed a day of school, paid the rent on time, bought my own grocery, paid all the bills on time, and kept the apartment in tip-top award. You’d think I should be getting a trophy when most 16-year-olds would probably trash a house or two. Instead, it seemed like my own mother trust me less and less day by day.
After spending the last two of my three-decade life learning and gathering life lessons, I have come to the conclusions that some people feel better after meddling in other people’s lives, casting themselves as the bigger person, making the other person pathetic, useless, and incapable.
Whenever I tell my mom I can do this and I am a capable person, she’d say, “I am just trying to teach you a life lesson.”
If I need to learn a life lesson, I’ll know who to ask.
If I need help, I’ll know who to go to for help.
If I fall, I’ll get up and try again.
If I make a mistake, I’ll find a way to correct my mistake.
But do NOT think me as incapable just because I am human.
Theme: Of all the things I am
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