According to Fitbit, my stress management score has been around 75 for the past week. Maybe it’s because work is just about the only thing occupying my brain these days. So much to bill, so many accounts to reconcile.

I am trying not to think about my impending surgery next Tuesday. I’m not looking forward to it. My brain is somehow automatically tune to pain when that pops into my mind while telling my body to eat as much as I can while I still can.

My surgery next Tuesday involves extractions and bone grafts. I have a lot teeth compacted inside my gums which need to be extracted and replace them with bones. The oral surgeon told me my nasal cavity will need to be moved to get the teeth out. He told me I will have to sneeze with my mouth open, I cannot blow my nose, and my face will be puffy for a few days. I hope I won’t have to blow my nose but all those things, for some reason, feel like a major life change. Why is that?

At the same time, I am also anxious about those 10 days at the end of the month when I’ll be off from work. It’s been a while since I’ve been off longer than 4 days without going anywhere. The last time was in 2018 when I was unemployed and I did not handle that well. Hopefully, I’ll be okay this time.