Good morning! Welcome, would you like to come in? Coffee? Tea?

This week has been…a week. I can’t describe it. I feel angry, rundown, sad, and anxious. It feels like everything is crashing down at me all of a sudden and I am having a hard time handling and processing my thoughts and emotions.

I s’pose I should first share a piece of good news. I did a couple of short guided meditation at the beginning of the week and successfully got through it by focusing on the breath. I feel after this week, though, I will need a few more meditations.

I’ve been training this guy at work for 4 weeks now to do one task. There has been days when everything feels like it’s getting better while there are days when I feel like such a failure. You see, I am confused as to why the same mistakes are being made every other day. The attention to details is improving, though, which is good because the task requires a great attention to details.

I was a teacher in a previous career and failed miserably teaching 18-years-olds ESL (English-as-a-second-language). I tried to train another person to do my job 5 years ago and failed. Maybe I’m just not meant to teach anyone to do things.

I mean, 4 weeks and still cannot master one simple data-entry task is kinda pathetic, don’t you think? I mean, I can totally understand someone being a slow learner but the task is repeated everyday. It’s all about repetition.

I asked my boss when I can move on to another role within the department and he told me I’m stuck for now. At least until this new person can do the task with 99% error-free. My heart sank when I heard that.

I am not angry at the new guy nor my boss. I just feel a bit tired and rundown for always needing to correct the same mistakes over and over.

No, I am angry at my mom and my aunt. I am angry at my mom for always telling me to shut up and the only time she’ll talk to me is when she needs to go out and harvest vegetables from the garden. My aunt is the same way, not the shut up part though. I wish she would shut up.

I haven’t done much in the garden for the last few weeks other than scattering a few flower seeds when it’s sunny out. It’s been cold and rainy, which triggered a whole new round of inflammation in the body. I remember back when I was spending the majority of my time planting in the garden, my mom would be complaining that I’m in the garden and would say that my effort is futile. Now, they are consuming my hard work and are still complaining.

I got a statement in the mail this week from my oral surgeon. The amount on the statement almost gave me a heart attack or a panic attack. It was for almost $15K for the surgery I got in December 2021. The surgery should’ve been covered completely by my medical insurance. I had the letter approving the procedure. I called the insurance and they told me they’ve already paid the negotiated amount and that I was just supposed to pay whatever’s remaining for my out-of-pocket in 2021 and $25 co-pay, which is around $600.

I’m still feeling anxious about this. The surgeon’s office said they got a new billing system and will be reviewing my account. My insurance told me I’m not supposed to pay the $15K. I suppose I should let out a breath of relief but I feel like it cannot be as simple as a billing error. Life is never this simple when it comes to doctors.

I really hope this gets resolved soon because it makes me so anxious that I am afraid to touch a dime in my bank account and I have no idea I would pay this amount if it comes down to it.

#weekendcoffeeshare is hosted by Natalie of Natalie the Explorer. I appreciate you stopping by. Until next we chat. 🙂