I have been in quite a bit of meetings at work lately since I’m helping to integrate a piece of software into the current accounting software to help automate a task. Last week, as I was trying to hold a meeting, with my door closed, my mom was talking loudly with my aunt right outside my door to the point where I had to excuse and mute myself and tell her to pipe down. Afterwards, she told me she thought I was talking to myself and got angry at me.
Why is it my fault that my meeting got interrupted? It wasn’t a one-time thing either. She’s burst into my room in the middle of my work meetings before multiple times before and never apologized. I can’t always mute myself as I often have to voice my opinions.
Later that day, I got a call from the local Department of health, asking to do a health survey for the state. I thought it was a spam call but my phone verified this number as legitimate number and they’ve called me 3 times already, all from the same number. In the middle of the survey, my mom suddenly paused the video she was watching and eavesdropped on my conversation. “What do they want?” she asked.
I didn’t answer her. Her voice got louder, “Hang up, it’s trash.” At that point, I couldn’t hear the person on the phone anymore, I asked to repeat the question but my mom began muttering beneath her breath, insisting I hang up.
After I forcibly hung up the phone because I was now feeling angry and had no interest of helping anyone, I told her that she should mind her business. She then gave me this huge lecture of being naive and giving out personal information. “First of all,” I said, “I didn’t give out my name.” The only information they had on me was my phone number. I googled that phone number and turned out to be legitimate, the state was conducting a survey to determine the overall health of its residents.
That’s the main reason why I never call anyone on the phone and why I lose every friend I ever had. I have an attention-craving human being eavesdropping on my phone calls and throwing tantrums when I don’t do as she says.
Finally, I thought I could sleep in on Saturday but 7:30 in the morning, my aunt yanked open the door to her room and started shuffling all over the house in her large slippers. After about 5 minutes, came my mom, yanking her bedroom door open. “Why are you up this early?” She asked loudly and started lecturing my aunt on the fact that she had no reason of getting up this early.
I was wide awake then. So much for filling my head of sleeping in on a Saturday.
Honestly, I thought I was becoming okay and accepting the fact that I’m stuck with these incredibly annoying, selfish, attention-craving human beings but as hard as I’ve tried and am trying, I am not remotely close to accepting this fact and probably never will be. Maybe that’s just it – I’m stuck ’til the end of time.
This is Another Story 
It must be very frustrating for you
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It is and the thing is, I thought I was getting better at dealing with it. Apparently not.
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It’s enough to test anyone’s patience
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You better change something. A lifetime of this sounds like hell.
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The worse part is, this comes and goes. There are days when she would behave and leave me alone and there are days when she behaves like a child.
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Inconsistency is the worst thing for anyone.
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Yes, it is.
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Lock the door to your room.
Yinglan, I don’t mean to be nasty but your mother and aunt truly get on my nerves. I don’t even know them and I feel my blood pressure going up just from reading this. How do you stand it? Does your mother resent you or something?
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I don’t know how I’ve tolerated it for so long. I actually didn’t know how stressed I was until I recently got a new smartwatch that measures stress level. lol, this watch now tells me my average stress level is in the red.
I don’t have a lock on my door. I should probably change the lock but it’s a headache because every time I have to change something in the house, my mom would start lecturing me about me making a fuss, which I am not okay with. My mom’s entire family gets on my nerves and the thing is, it’s only me. It’s like a one-sided thing. I bet if you met them, you would think they are the nicest people you’ve ever met. Once you leave the room though, they will be talking about you with words that if it’s converted to needles, you’d be dead.
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I’m so sorry, Yinglan. 😞 But I am rooting for you and I definitely believe that things will get a lot better for you soon.
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Oh, I do feel for you.
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This is not healthy environment for you. I don’t know what to suggest though as I know from reading your posts that there is a lot going on here and you can’t just up sticks and leave. It’s a shame you can’t lock them in their rooms while you’re working, but they would probably scream the house down if you did. I;s terrible you have to live with this.
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They seem to think if I shut my door, all the noise will be blocked. No one in the house seem to understand the amount of noise I tolerate on a daily basis coming from their devices and how thin the walls are in this house. And trust me, I voiced my opinion but I can never compete with YouTube.
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I know that feeling too.
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I’m sorry to hear that. Something has to give. When parents become too interfering, we have to set boundaries. We are adults after all. They can’t keep treating us like a kid. My heart goes out to you
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That’s what everybody tells me – my dietitian, co-workers, blogging friends – to set boundaries but it’s easier said than done.
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I know, my friend. It’s not easy at all. You can’t burn some bridges. But you can’t let it accumulate and explode unexpectedly one day too
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