Yesterday was officially the last final of my academic career. I could feel my brain sagged just a little the minute the TA collected the test papers from my hands. I was like, “Yes! After 20 years, I’m finally done.” Continue reading “A Life of Endless Learning” →
My weight has always been a big issue for me but it wasn’t until the recent years when it became the problem of my life, the rock that’s keeping me from being happy. Over the past several years, I’ve been trying to get back to the normal weight I’ve had when I first moved to where I am about 5 years ago but the weights just kept piling on.
When I first set foot in the United States 12 years ago, I was 4′ 3″ and weighed 85 pounds. At the time, I was already considered “fat” by my family and my classmates but to people here, I was considered tiny. That made me feel a little better because for once, I wasn’t called fat. However, as the years passed and 6″ later, my weight went up dramatically and it didn’t do me any good. You see, I was born with small veins and because of my Albright’s Syndrome, I have to go get my blood checked every 3 months or so.
With the weight gain, so did the difficulty of drawing blood grew. Last May when I had the surgery in my leg, I was 115 pounds and it took the anesthetist almost 30 minutes to do the IV on me and in the end he still failed. They gave up and had to use gas to knock me out. This was just the beginning. Since then, I gained another 4 or 5 pounds and the last few times I had to do lab work, it took at least 3 technicians before one of them could nail me.
I told my mom about it and she blamed me for not consistently exercising and gain weight. That made me feel even worse than before I told her. To be honest, I’ve always wanted to exercise but due to the pain I suffer in my legs and the lack of motivation, I gave up after a week or so. My mom didn’t motivate me at all. I mean if she had exercised with me and we did some fun activities together, maybe I wouldn’t get so bored and quit. No, we both did our own things and before I knew it, I was about 120 pounds and sitting at home all day doing nothing.
About a month, I finally had an epiphany. I was on my way to my doctor’s appointment, it was 40 degrees out and I had to walk two blocks or so from the bus stop to the clinic. When I finally arrived at the clinic and climbed the two flights of stairs to the doctor’s office, I not only was sweating and breathless but my heart was beating like a helicopter. By the time the nurse called me into the little room, my heart was still pounding and she put that little clip on my finger to check my pulse. It was still 100.
I leaned back in my chair and thought, damn what’s happened to me? I was never so out of breath climbing stairs before. Then I knew that it was time for me to commit to exercising again, to slip back into the routine I had two years ago when my mom made me go exercising everyday.
But how?
I need motivation, a reason to keep going. Then I thought of one, my future. I need to be in better shape in order to find a job, work, and even start a family, maybe. I also thought of writing because writing was the first long-term commitment for me. So I thought if I can keep writing for this long, why not commit to going to the gym for just as long?
Since the end of March, I’ve been committed to go to gym five days a week while taking a break on the weekends and let my muscles rest. Since then, I’ve successfully gone back to the weight I was over a year ago and I’m still on my way to lose more. Now, I’m not only feeling better than before but by exercising, I feel like I’m thinking more clearly and doing better in school.
I can’t believe it. Today is exactly a month from my graduation. I am so excited! Also, in three weeks, I’ll be at last done with school. Wow, how time flies by! I can’t believe it, it’s been 5 years since I first enrolled for my first course, Calculus I. It has not been an easy journey and that includes preparing for graduation.
I applied for graduation more than two months ago and my adviser asked me if I was planned on walking. I wasn’t sure at the time. Then when I asked my mom whether I should attend my graduation ceremony, she was like, “There won’t be anyone attending. Why don’t you wait for your aunt and walk next year?”
I would’ve thought that confirmed my decision because for one thing, I won’t know anyone. Most of the people I know had graduated last year. For another, I cannot beg my mom to go to my graduation ceremony. I remembered the last time I asked her to go, she blamed me afterward because she missed a meeting and didn’t get her promotion. So, this time, I’ve learn my lesson.
However my friend, Laura, insisted that I go, that it was once in a lifetime and that she will go as a support. So now, I have two
voices in my head. One is telling me to do it and the other one was telling me to wait and see if I have another chance in the future. For the past two months or so, those two voices have been battling non-stop that is until two days ago.
My friend, Laura, came over to my home to study. We began talking about the graduation because come on, let’s face it, our brains can get tired and need some time to absorb the knowledge. She showed me pictures of her graduation ceremony from last year. Don’t even ask how she’s still in the same class with me after she graduated, the answer is we had a horrible professor last year.
Anyway, I saw what a big deal it was. By then, that tiny voice that is telling me to go was starting to take over and soon it took over. I began having visions and daydreams of what my graduation ceremony would be like. Then in one breath, I’ve decided. It’s once in a lifetime and I should attend my own graduation. So, today, I have officially purchased my cap and gown and a stole of gratitude for my mom for all her support over the years. I don’t know if she’ll keep it since she’s not sentimental like me but I will still give it to her as a thank you.
To prepare for my momentous day, there are several things I am going to try to achieve in order to fulfill my picture perfect moments.
1. Lose at least 10 pounds. At this moment, I’ve already successfully lost 2 pounds and since my mom left for her training 
yesterday, I have put myself on a diet where I do a protein shake in the morning, a light lunch (maybe), and a light dinner as well as an average 500 calories loss in exercise daily. I think if I have an important goal, I can probably stick to it.
2. Buy a dress and new pair of shoes. I think since I now have paychecks, I can afford to buy myself a more age appropriate dress and a pair of high heels but at the same time, I can’t get something that is over $50 since I’m still saving up to buy a car.
3. Beautify my appearance. Right now, my face is breaking out for some unknown reason. I’ve been using astringent every night and it gets better but somewhere else would start breaking out. I don’t know what to do about it. I have these white spots that’s popping up all over my nose area. I guess when the time comes, I’ll just have to cover it with makeup.
Now, a question for my readers, yesterday, an email was sent to me saying Commencement is May 1 and Convocation is May 2. I’m not sure what it means. Can anyone tell me what’s the difference between Commencement and Convocation and do I need to go to both?
Thanks for reading!
As I sit here at my desk thinking and thinking and I realized, it’s almost the last week of February and I still haven’t written a single post for this blog this whole month. It’s strange to think I’ve done so much this past week let alone this past month. Hmm, what to write about? Ding, a light bulb lit up in my head, let’s summarize how 2014 has been for me so far; sort of like a timeline I can look back at the end of the year.
January:
First of all, 2014 started on a light note. On New Year’s Day, I had the house all to myself as I sat on the couch in my pajamas watching the Rose Parade which I enjoy watching every year. Then on the second week of January, school started and I was incredibly excited to see my friend Laura, who I haven’t seen since we took the FE back in October. Speaking of school, it started that same week at Layton Christian but I wasn’t back at work until the last week of January.
Of course, there’s happiness in life but it has to also have some anger and sadness to even it out. So there wasn’t much sadness during the month of January but there was plenty of anger that went with it. You probably know this from my post at the end of January, on the eve of Chinese New Year, I called home to China and well, got into a bit of an argument with my grandparents. Now, I’m betting that they’ll never want to speak to me again.
On to February:
February was and is still a bit of an annoying month for me. The Winter Olympics seemed to taken all the joy of watching television
from me. Everything’s on rerun and there are hardly anything to watch. Guess that just leaves me more time to do my homework and work on my writing. The most annoying thing of all is my mother, she got into a little mess at work and she felt she has to tell me not once, not twice, not three times but repeatedly every single night for the past week.
I’m like, I know already. Just stop talking about it, please. But still, I find her muttering the same thing to herself every night while cooking dinner or just surfing the internet. Otherwise, February’s been an interesting month for me, a bit slow but good.
On another note…
Earlier this month, I’ve finally decided to just hell with it (pardon me) and posted the entire fantasy novel I’ve written last summer onto booksie and hopefully receive some comments. You can view it by clicking here.
Also late last month, I’ve posted a supernatural romantic novella I’ve written at the end of last year. It’s basically the prelude to the fiction series I’ve been doing on this blog working titled “Fiction time.” You can read it by clicking here.
Best news of all, at least for me, I quit my tutoring job and found a so much better substitute, translation/quality control. I don’t know how long this one will last but it’s so much more stable than my job with the Li’s family. Hopefully, I can rack up enough hours these few months to buy myself a newer used car. My current car is almost 20 years old and it’s dying.
As for school, well let’s just say I don’t want to jinx it. I’m doing so well right now and hopefully I can keep it up and get a good grade. Let’s just say I want to graduate from my program on a high note.
As for this blog, I will try to post more than one post next month or maybe I’ll even start perhaps next week. Who knows? I’ve been itching to write a post about money or maybe a snippets of a new fiction I’m working on. We’ll see.
Please Help!
Since 2014 has arrived, I believe it is time to make some new goals myself and even for our beloved homeless Toastmasters club. At the end of 2013, we have gained a club coach but lost three members in the process. As the VP Membership, I can’t say that I’m pleased at the result of a club coach. After all, a club coach is supposed to help the club gain members, not lose members. However, the lost of our club members is not the club coach’s fault. Our beloved members left for a reason, they left because of jobs, school, and family matters. Due to the lost of those three members, our club is now down to five members and a coach and our goal for distinguish club is now nowhere in sight. That is why we need to set some goals for the new year.
#1 Reach Distinguish…
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2014 is upon us, well, 13.5 hour-ish. So let’s give 2013 a look-back to see what I’ve accomplished.
This blog was started. I had an idea that I just couldn’t resist writing it down and that’s when I decided to start a blog about random things. But then something happened and made me quit. I’ve got some interesting entries on it before I quit though.
The Influence of Culture on Food – Learn about what I’ve found out about bagels and other interesting foods
A Wild Wild January – It has been a wild January, freezing rain and the ridiculous number of snow depths, my neighbor even managed to make a car size dog!
The Difference between Stubborn and Polite – Some people tend to confuse between two.
Traditional Chinese New Year Delicacy – The most “Liked” blog post to date.
I completed my summer semester with two “A-” and I even got on TV.
I started this blog again because I was bored at work and I happened to have some stuff I wanted to get off my chest. Since then I’ve managed to keep going which I would consider to be a miracle because I don’t have a lot of patience when it comes to writing and work. Here are some of my memorable blog posts from September:
The Incidence with Public Manner – My boss did gross things everyday at work and I just want to get it off my chest before I threw up on anyone.
What is the Difference between 21 and 22 – A post where I dissect the different privileges that a 21-year-0ld has that an 18-year-old don’t have. Also should I feel any different now that I’m 22 maybe older and wiser?
Fiction Time: Gretchen’s Run – This post helped me gain quite a bit of followers since it’s a serial fiction and all. So far, #6 is in the works and it should be posted at the end of this week or next week. Be patient.
Government shutdown. My mom got furloughed and she spent the time in the backyard putting up patio bricks while I chauffeured my boss’s wife everywhere. Also it was the month that I had to take my engineering licensing exam again for the third time which by the way, I failed again. Anyway, here are some of that month’s posts:
Day #3: No work Govt shutdown stinks – How did my mom take the news that she didn’t have work the day.
Do these people ever care about price tag? – I took my boss’s wife shopping and she just grab grab grab without ever looking at the price tags.
Am I Anti-social or Do I just like to be Alone? – A lot of people call me anti-social, well this post will show them why I’m not.
I remembered all my students were already thinking about the holidays. I don’t blame them, I was losing it as it is with tutoring, school, and work. That was when all began, Thanksgiving week. Bad luck just came out of nowhere. Fortunately, it seem to be gone now, I haven’t tripped or fall for no reason and I haven’t misplace any of the important things. That month’s memorable posts includes:
Sunshine Award – Thank you again Jennifer Windram for nominating me.
Fiction Time #4: Tatianna’s story – Well that post got a lot of “Likes,” I guess people wanted to know what it’s like to be stuck in a house for 50+ years.
Well I completed a four-part arc and posted on different places. That got mixed reactions but most of them were positive. Also, my mom’s high school friend came to town and we went skiing with my boss’s family except only my mom’s friend’s son skied. My boss’s family prep for everything and even before we helped them sign up for classes, they got chickened and so we traveled back down as soon as the next bus got here. How shame and all because of a comment made by my student’s sister about someone fall and broke their leg during a beginner’s lesson. I guess my most memorable post for the month is the “Last Memories”.
I know I made some goals at the beginning of 2013 that I can hardly recall. Sad news is those goals never got accomplished.
Now what are those goals again? Oh yeah, to get back to 110 lb, not to fail any classes, and to complete the two beautiful Chinese painting jigsaw puzzles downstairs. Well, I never got to that and as for the pounds, my body seemed to have stopped at 113.5. So I’m stuck at that no matter how hard I exercise and how less I eat. As for the third goal, I did fail one class during the spring semester of 2013 but that’s because the instructor was cruel. 40 people took that class and he failed half of them. Good thing he’s not teach the class this semester.
For 2014, my goals remains the same except instead of setting a weight limit, I will try to exercise more consistently. As for my goals for this blog, I will try to write at least entry on this blog each month. No matter how many words, just a minimum of one post each month. Also right now I have 65 followers. For 2014, I want my followers to reach 100 and I will try to get more likes, I guess because right now, I keep on getting only a maximum of 7 likes. Odd!
December 21 is a very special day. It marks the day of the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year. It is also the day I stepped
onto a Boeing 777 at Guangzhou Baiyun Airport and stepped off of the same plane 11 hours later at LAX. Thus, this day makes it that much more special to me.
Even after 12 years, I can still remember it perfectly and through the years, I’ve spent this day at home with peace and quiet as I commemorated the journey and adventures I’ve had since I’ve been in the United States as well as celebrating the holidays. Some of the years had been fun like flying to Texas or driving to Las Vegas while there are the one where I was ill and had to spend overnight in an emergency room. That was not a pleasant experience for me.
It all began second to the last day of school before winter break. I was in seventh grade, by the way. As I went back to class after lunch, I began feeling chilly even though it was 70 degrees. My head suddenly felt so heavy. I thought maybe I’m just tired after lunch.
I sat down at my desk and let my achy head rest on my arms while waiting for the teacher to call the roll and get on with the lesson. After a while, my head became so heavy that I couldn’t even lift it up anymore. That was when I knew I was coming down with something but I just thought it was a minor cold or something. So for the rest of the day, I did the best I could to concentrate on the lesson while my head pounded with my heart beat.
By the time school ended, my mom came to pick me up, I was pretty sure I was running on a temperature by this point. As I rode home, I told mom how awful I was feeling. She said, “It might be just a little cold. You’ll be okay tomorrow.” She didn’t even bother with feeling my head.
It wasn’t true. The next day, that “little cold” became much worse and my parents decided that I wasn’t fit to go to school even though it was the last day. After they took me to a doctor in the morning, I spent the remaining of the day in bed, feeling bored as the bones all over my body burnt and ached, preventing me to do anything including move.
My step-dad constantly came into my room, urging me to drink juice and water while periodically fed medicine to me like I was a baby. The fire in my bones was temporary put out not long after I ingested the awful tasting syrup but it came back after about 30 minutes.
For the next three days, I took my medicine and drank an undesirable amount of water at one time while spending my time in bed, drifting in and out of sleep. I had no appetite to eat anything either as I never got hungry lying in bed all day. Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t have to eat. Mom fed me liquid food when she could, trying to make me feel better.
By Monday evening, I was still feeling feverish. My condition had not improved at all since I began taking the medicine three days ago. My bones still ached, so I decided to take a hot shower and just head to bed hoping tomorrow would be better.
While lying here in bed, my vision suddenly became slightly blurred as I stared into the light. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but I involuntarily opened my eyes again. That’s weird, I thought, there’s nothing in front of me, it’s all white light.
I blinked and the image warped. It warped into a spinning image of my room. Why is my room spinning or is my bed spinning? I tried to grab the bed to hold on but all my muscles seemed to be locked and uncontrollable. What’s happening to me?
Suddenly, distorting voices came into my head include my mom and a voice I haven’t heard in a long time, my dad. I know that sounds scary and I don’t think I was imagining things but sometimes these situations can do things to you. Anyway, it was my dad telling me to hang on in my native tongue.
“Daddy?” I wanted to say but my mouth was working.
“Don’t give up. Keep hanging on. Relax.” He kept saying.
I tried my hardest to relax and hope my muscles would come back to me while a new voice chimed in. “Wake up, please, wake up.” It said.
My mom’s worried face suddenly filled my sight. “What happened and what’s the noise outside?” I asked.
“You had a seizure. We didn’t know what to do. So we called the ambulance.” She pulled me up and wrapped me in a hug. “You scared me to death. How did this happen?”
“I-I don’t know.” I stammered.
My step-dad came in with two firemen. Mom pulled me to the side of my bed while one of the firemen tested me to make sure I didn’t have any brain damage. I followed his finger as he moved it and stated clearly my name, address, and birthday.
After a few minutes, he concluded that there’s no damage to my brain but I do need to go to the hospital for a check-up, at least to make sure everything’s fine. One thing’s for certain though, my fever is finally going down.
So my mom and I waited in the emergency room until after midnight by which I’ve already taken a nap even though my step-dad advised against it. They put me on a bed and started me on saline and for the first time in four days, I felt better.
About three hours later, the doctor came back with the result from my blood test. He said my calcium level is way below normal and that was what caused the seizure. He prescribed some medication to help with the flu and recommended me to drink more juice and milk and I was allowed to leave.
As mom drove home, I stared out the window thinking about my dad’s voice during the seizure and then I’ve decided I would never let anyone know for the fear that they might think I was out of my mind. “Are you okay?” Mom asked as we were approaching the apartment gate. I nodded quietly. She glanced at the clock and said, “You know, you’ve just spent the first few hours of your special day in an emergency room.”
She smiled and it suddenly came to me that it’s already December 21. I’ve just spent the first 3 hours of my third anniversary in the United States in the hospital. I gave a soft chuckle. This has been the weirdest experience of my life.
This is Another Story