I wrote a variation of this prompt exactly one week ago. I said I was jealous enough to start a fight with my friend. Well I’m not going to repeat that one. I’m going to talk of a new jealousy, one that stemmed from my childhood. Yes, I have plenty of jealousy, maybe too much. In fact, my face should be greener than the leaves of the blooming rose bushes outside the bay window in the living room.

I’m not going to write a letter though. Instead, I am just going to say it straight out.

I’m jealous of my friend, Joyce. There, I said it. She has basically everything I have ever wanted and more. She lives in a million-dollar house both here and in China. She gets to spend her dad’s money however she wants. She wants a car, she got it. In one sweep, an imported European car. She wants to go to Japan for the summer, she got it. She wants to go back to China three times a year, she got it.

What did I get? A nagging mother who’s always on my case of how I’ve made countless mistakes. This is life, everyone makes mistakes. I’m not perfect. You don’t have to state the obvious over and over.

So how did her life end up so perfect while mine end up like this?

I asked my mom this question. What does she blame it on? My dad’s passing. “If your dad was here,” she would say, “you would have everything you want and I would be retired right now.”

It made me wonder, if he was here, would my life really be better? Would my life turn out like Joyce’s? Would my jealousy go away?

I thought about it and the answer is no, I would still be jealous. I would still envy her well-being and beauty and independence. Because if my dad was here, I would never come to the U.S. and I would never get a proper diagnosis not to mention getting the medicine I need to suppress the symptoms.

So yes, there are still a ton to be jealous about because I will always be this short tiny Chinese girl that can’t seem to get away from home.

Daily Prompt – Green-Eyed Monster

Related Post: Jealousy