Hello, welcome to #weekendcoffeeshare!
I’ll bet you’ll wonder if we traveled back in time, back to winter, because it’s once again freezing cold here. This week’s daytime temperatures have been in the low 20’s Fahrenheits, compared to the week before, it’s about a 20 degrees difference.
If we’re having coffee, I would tell you I indulged myself at work this week. You might not think it but getting myself Starbucks for breakfast is indulgence in my book.
It’s the only day each week when I get a few hours of freedom, without having mom monitoring me, interrogating my whereabouts each time I head out the front door. It’s my favorite day of the week and this week, it happens to be Wednesday.
The drive to the office wasn’t terrible. The weather was certainly unexpected. Snow wasn’t in the forecast, yet there it was, accompanied by 45 mile-per-hour wind gusts. Took me almost 40 minutes as opposed to my usual 30 minutes to get to work and plus an additional 10 minutes walk to Starbucks to grab a medium cup of blonde roast and a thick slice of banana loaf, I ended up clocking in 20 minutes later than my usual time.
We also went out to lunch that day – boss’s treat. My co-workers and I talked about work, life, all kind of stuff, stuff I usually can’t talk to mom about as it would fall in her category of “complaints”. It was a pleasant conversation for a change, as opposed to me always having to be extra careful in choosing my words when I have a 2-second conversation with mom nowadays.
Meanwhile, my inconsistent sleep persisted. I slept for 12 hours last Sunday and haven’t been able get decent sleep ever since, always waking up at around 3 AM. My moods are still up and down, mostly down. There have been nights when I wanted to curl into a ball and cry if I had any tears. I don’t know why.
Perhaps, I’m craving human connection, conversations that don’t involve me tiptoeing around my words. Maybe I just want freedom, go wherever I want, whenever I want, and eat wherever I want, and whatever I want.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you my mom is thinking of installing a water softener machine in my basement. I told her if she wants it, she’ll have to pay for it herself. The machine costs about $1500, and at dinner last night, it sounded like she wanted me to pay for part of it.
This felt like another thing she wants me to pay, just like the washer, dishwasher, and stove when she said she would pay part of it and I ended up paying for the whole thing. Oh, and let’s not forget about the rocks for my front and backyard, which she generously divided among her family and neighbors. Yeah, I paid for that too.
There’s no way I’m paying for this, not even part of it. I never said I want a water softener. I’m fine with the water right now and with the prices going up as it is, my budget is stretched tight as it is. Why does it feel like my mother is skimming my money sometimes?
I hope you’ve enjoyed this edition of #weekendcoffeeshare, hope to chat again same time next week.