WQ #6: Reflection of Past Love

This week’s topic for Wednesday Quote (WQ) #6 is Love and the color red as a tribute to Valentine’s Day. The only thing I can associate Valentine’s Day now are my cousin’s birthday and getting a pink pancake party at work. Is it sad that those are the only things I associate to this day dedicated to romantics and lovers everywhere?

The truth is, I wasn’t always like this – swearing off love and be as unromantic as one can be. Did I ever mention I once received a single rose on Valentine’s Day? It was in high school. Each year, a few weeks prior to Valentine’s Day, there would be a line in a corner of the cafeteria. Boys would be lined up ordering roses for their girls. I didn’t have anyone. I was always the loner because of my social awkwardness.

So I was completely surprise when the girl handing out roses put one on my table. “For me?” I asked and indeed, there it was, my name on the “to” line of the card. “Who is it from?” She shrugged and moved on.

I never did find out who it was from and for the rest of the day, I felt like I was floating like a free balloon in the sky. Someone cared to send me a rose? Wow, I have a secret admirer. That was until I was figuratively popped and I free-fell back to earth. “Somebody pities you.” Mom said when she saw I was holding a rose. Perhaps she’s right. Maybe I was being pitied by someone because I was a loner with little to no friends but did she had to say it aloud?

It’s funny. I remember when I was in middle school and high school, all it took was having a boy sit next to me or be my partner on a project for me to have a crush on him. Of course, I could never tell him or anyone that. Even when I had my very first relationship in my Freshman year of high school, I had to keep it on the down low and was anxiety on a daily basis because my now-former best friend would threaten to blow my secret to my parents whenever she came over for her tutor session.

My mom and step-dad could never know about him because I know in their minds, he isn’t good due to his ethnicity and where he’s from.

In the end, the relationship was doomed to fail because I was moving. Cell phones didn’t exist for us back then (mom didn’t get her first cell phone until 2006), neither did Facebook or any social media. It took us 12 years to connect again. By then, all of our feelings for each other have fizzled. We have moved on and our relationship had been long forgotten.

13 thoughts on “WQ #6: Reflection of Past Love

  1. Yinglang, your mother said such a cruel thing to you. No one supplies mothers, and fathers – in my case – with good words to say to their kids when they are growing up. We are all loners, even when we are with people when it comes down to it, and everyone feels socially awkward at some time in their life. My teen and pre-years were my most awkward, and I never received a rose. Like you, I had crushes on any boy who smiled at me. My grandma taught me that the best way to make friends and have friends was to find someone who needed a friend worse than I did and be friendly to them. I have tried to do that, and it has worked. Not everyone loves me, or even likes me, but there are enough people who do that I have overcome anything cruel that my father ever said to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m beginning to see it as her nature because that wasn’t the only time and I get cruel words from her on almost a daily basis. I honestly think she was never taught the mannerism of “think before you speak”. I think your grandma gave a great advice because that was how I finally made my only friend in high school.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with Marsha that what you mom said was a very inconsiderate thing to say. She put doubt in your head. Perhaps it suits her that you stay single and she can always stay with you. Believe in yourself my friend. I hope you find someone good.

    Liked by 1 person

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