One is Enough, Two is Too Much


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The crappy house with the stairs

I am frustrated and that frustration is growing by the day.

Last year, my mother purchased two additional houses. She planned to use those houses for investment and rental. To be honest, both of those houses are a pain in the neck. After closing on the first house last April, we spent almost the entire month cleaning, repairing, and re-painting the wall.

When I say “we”, I mean my mother and her friend. Meanwhile, I am not allowed to touch or do anything, I am to just stand there and watch. I hated it. I mean, what am I doing there? I could be doing so much more at home.

Thank god that house rented out quickly and the tenant had been stable. A few months later, my mother closed on a house at the end of our street. This house is a bucketful of problems.

First it was the furnace, then the AC, and then at the beginning of this year, we found out there’s no return vent in the basement, making the basement of the house freezing cold.

It’s a crappy house. Well, what do you expect when the first owner of the house was a know-it-all handyman?

Anyway, in the latter part of 2013, after yet spending a few weeks cleaning up the place, we rented the house to a very nice family who was waiting for their house to be built in another city.

They moved out early January of this year. Thank goodness, the wife of the tenant was a clean freak and kept the house sparkly clean. We didn’t have to do much and within 2 weeks, the house was again rented to another family from Texas and that’s when the problems began. They built a bathroom in the basement without consulting us. The bathroom turned out awry and weird. Don’t get me started.

That family moved out suddenly before Thanksgiving. It was ridiculous. Not only they broke the contract but the house was a mess!

My aunt and cousin spent the afternoons in the days followed at the house cleaning and picking up dog poop in the backyard. It’s disgusting and I would never ever do it. I couldn’t be more grateful to have them here.

A few days after the advertisement for our rental house went online, two families came and browse. One family was so so eager to move in that they didn’t even cared if the carpet was cleaned. I wasn’t having a good vibe about this candidate. They seemed nice and all but there’s something off.

I told my mother to go with the other family, but she didn’t listen. I was completely right, by the way. The “bad vibe” tenant has an excellent credit score but he didn’t even had the money to pay the first month rent and deposit.

My mother got scared and turn them down. That left the “good vibe” tenant but unfortunately, they grew impatient waiting for our response and had already found another house. That house has been empty for past month. My mother’s incessantly worried about the furnace failing and constantly nudging me to go check.

Yeah, like I know anything about the mechanics of a furnace.

In the recent day, it’s become my dread to go into that house. It’s not haunted or anything. There are just too many stairs and the stairs are thickly carpeted. Did you know it takes more strength going up a flight of carpeted stairs than any other kind of staircase?

My consensus: that house is horribly designed and I would never live in it.

I still don’t understand why my mother had to purchase that house. Why couldn’t she be happy with just one rental home? This other house is going down the drain if we don’t get some tenants soon, I tell ya.

When she bought the house, she says my aunt wanted it but I highly doubt it. For all I know, my aunt could’ve said, “随便吧!” or “Anything’s fine.”

My Tight Little Corner


Something has happened in my neck of the woods. I can’t figure out what but it’s making me feel singled-out, like I’m being forced into a tight little corner of my own. It’s like my spoken words are not being understood and there’s no one ’round here to clarify my words for me.

I’ve been searching and wondering far and wide and I have arrived with these three explanations:

  • Language barrier
    • I know, we all speak the same language here. But they seem to forget that I just know to speak everyday language, slang. My education level for this language is only up to the 4th grade. Still, they talk to me like I graduated college there, saying politically related college-level term that I probably will never understand.
    • And if I say the wrong thing, they’d just burst out laughing and it’s not just in the moment, they laugh for days and it’s really frustrating sometimes. Like yesterday, I accidentally mispronounced the word for Mount Everest and they laughed and laughed, making fun of me, making me feel like an idiot. Yes, I know I said the wrong thing but don’t forget I never went past the 4th grade.
  • Ethnic culture differences
    • Yes, there is a tiny or huge ethnic culture difference here, depends on one’s perspective. For example, my aunt doesn’t like to use the dryer. She hang wet clothes in the laundry. I hate that. When the clothes dry, it becomes cold, stiff, and wrinkly. It’s like wearing cardboard.
  • Too many personalities
    • Yes, I understand everyone has their own personality, no people are the same but my aunt’s personality is driving me nuts. She is so childish sometimes with her silly clothes. Yesterday, when it was snowing, she didn’t want her hair to get wet, so she wore a husky hat. I don’t mean a hat that looked like husky fur, I mean a hat that was an actual husky (dog) head. It’s the stupidest hat I’ve ever seen.
    • Often times, she’s been sitting at the kitchen counter watch funny babies video on her ipad. If you like watching babies so much, why don’t you have one of your own?

Meanwhile, my mother is not helping with my situation, she laughs along and her teasing had been increasingly irritating. I wish I can just tell them that but everybody in this house feels super intimidating and it’s making me feel frightened.

Just two more months, I will tell myself from now on. Just two more months and they’ll be gone.

Merry Christmas!


I think this has been an okay Christmas. Other than the fact that it’s been snowing all day and my mother’s constant nudging to make me go outside with my aunt, it’s been all right. Continue reading “Merry Christmas!”

A Super Awesome Gift to…


I hand my mother a white envelope. From the outside, it looks ordinary but it’s really a month-long all expense paid trip (hotels, transportation, etc.) for three to Europe plus cruise around the Mediterranean. My mother has dreamed of touring Europe but she’s always complaining about not having the time nor the money. Well, now she does.

Of course she won’t be going alone. You cannot expect to travel such a vast continent with a companion, in this case, companions. My aunt and I will accompany her on this expedition. If she gets lost, who’d be there to help her? What about the language barrier in a few places? Also, who will help her to take pictures to prove she’s been to these places?

Besides, I kind of want to go to Europe myself and this gift is price unlimited. So why can’t I tag along? She won’t know I’m the person who gifted her with this awesome gift, not unless I reveal to her I am the Secret Santa who sent her the gift. Knowing my mother, she will probably thinks I’m joking and will probably laugh in disbelief. I’m okay with that because I have just toured Europe too.

Resolutions


I spent yesterday celebrating my yet another year in the U.S. I arrived in the U.S. on December 21, 2001 and so yesterday was a special day. I began a post yesterday morning but my mom insisted on heading out. She wanted to show my cousin how far far away the community college really is and that him wanting to go to the community or any colleges and universities in the state of Utah is a naive and unreasonable plan.

To be honest, the community college isn’t that far. It’s a 45-minutes drive and the route is incredibly slow and boring but isn’t far. But if you want the fun 😉 or long route which my cousin has to do since he can’t drive, it can take anywhere from 90 minutes to 2 hours. Anyway, I tagged along in case she got lost.

We went home after going one round about the college and lunch at Costco and then I spent the afternoon watching movies and shows on the TV and writing a post just slipped my mind. Besides, I was having a hard time writing it since I had no clue what the prompt meant. Today, however, I have a slight idea.

I don’t do New Year resolutions, I used to but not anymore. I don’t see the point in making one since every year, I have the same two goals for myself and every year, it gets harder and harder to achieve those goals especially this year. So why make it?

The best part about this year has been getting this job but with my mom rushing me to complete the job day after day, I haven’t been able to keep up with my health. I’ve rarely seen my doctor or gone to the gym. It’s always just school and work.

Another reason for not going to the doctors was because of my insurance. When the insurance got switched to a new company at the beginning of this year, it started having problems. Most of the time, it wasn’t paying anything for me and I had to spend countless hours calling, trying to resolve dumb problems. Even a month ago, I was trying to resolve something that happened in June. I’ve already had enough to do. So you can see why I stopped going to the doctors.

I promise myself that once we’re in 2015, I will go to the doctors as well as the gym regularly. I’m not sure how well I will be able to keep the gym part going but the doctors, definitely, since I’m paying for my own insurance now.

Also when my mom’s away at training during March and April, I will try a self-controlled diet. Oh, and once January comes, I need to go see a doctor or a cardiologist or whatever to get my heart checked out. Let’s just say I haven’t been kind to my heart and it’s a little angry.

Other than that, all I wish for is to just get through the year as safe as possible. No casualty. No jitters and ignore my mom’s attempt to creep me out about the year of the goat thing. Apparently, she believes that if the current year is your Chinese Zodiac year, i.e. I was born in the year of the goat and next year is the year of the goat, bad luck will come to my door. I won’t say more otherwise I’d be jinxing it. Just wish me good luck in 2015, no more accidents or terrible news of any sort.

Anyway, my aunt wants me to take them downtown today. So hopefully the storm will stop soon and the sky will lighten up just a teeny bit.

Happy Winter Solstice everyone!!!

Here’s a beautiful painting to admire.

The Sun Stands Still by Becky Vigor, 2010.
The Sun Stands Still by Becky Vigor, 2010.

Christmas Trees, Presents Delivery, Time Off, That’s the Holidays


That's just about the only thing festive in the entire house.
That’s just about the only thing festive in the entire house.

I have been trying to write a post all day today but for some reason, I haven’t been able to finish it. This morning, I woke up, washed my bedding (finally!), and had breakfast. Then I went back up to my room, trying to write something about the prompt today but somehow, I was feeling rather frustrated and uninspired. I mean, it’s not that difficult of a prompt but at the present moment, this is my third and possibly fourth attempt at writing anything today.

My first attempt was kind of awful, talked about how I’ve grown to somewhat fear the end-of-year holidays. I’m not sure if anyone wants to hear anything that negative today.

My second attempt was a list of my love and hate for the holidays. That list was going successfully until my mother interrupted and said she wanted to go out. I’ve been stuck at home all day and thought that was the culprit for my lack of inspiration. So I accepted and we all went out. First, it was to the air force base to pick up my mother’s medicine as well as to get some groceries but then it turned into a 30-mile road trip to Morgan, Utah, a rural little town just beyond the canyons.

Okay, this is completely misleading, it did NOT look like this!!!

It’s a beautiful town, quiet and serene. The moment we exited I-84, my mother saw the sign to East Canyon State Park and immediately wanted to go similar to a child wanting candy. Am I the only mature one in the family?

The sign said the park is just 12 miles north. So northward we went. The road was narrow and twisty like riding a slow boring endless roller coaster. My mother’s patience was running short and after 5 minutes or so, she began to wonder if we’ve gotten lost. No, we haven’t. I began to doubt too  but on the other hand, I was sure we were on the right route.

Okay, is this it? Is this what I’ll see if my mother kept going?

When we reached mile post 7, my mother decided to turn back. “I’ll bet you anything that the park is when you reach mile post 12.” I told her but as usual, no one listened to me. So after 40 minutes or so, we’re home.

To be honest, I enjoyed Morgan, it seemed like one of those places I like to see myself living when I finally move out of my mother’s house. It’s quiet, quaint, and just rural enough for my taste. Best of all, there are no planes!

Anyway, I’ve returned to my computer to try to compose my daily post again. When I finally got two paragraphs done, I was interrupted again! Now what?!

I went downstairs to find out what my mother had wanted. Apparently, she suddenly want my aunt and I to play Santa and deliver all the presents to all neighbors, ugh, one of the things I dislike about the holidays. Every year, it’s always me who had to deliver presents and never get anything as nice or anything at all in return.

I just came back a few minutes ago, delivering presents to one of our tenants. My face as well as my hands and legs are still freezing cold and I’m feeling a tad dizzy. I need to go see a doctor soon to make sure I’m still as healthy as I used to be. But for the rest of today, I have no wish to go anywhere else. I wish to rest a bit in my room while waiting for a little inspiration to struck.  Until then, I think I’ll leave you with the list from my second attempt at the prompt.

Things I love about the end-of-year holidays:

  1. Time off! Oh yes, definitely the time off. For one thing, no homework and no school. The thing I don’t like though, grades. The end of semester grades are coming out and that is my fear for every year. Thankfully, I’ve done alright this year. 
  2. Pies, pies, pies! The only time of the year when my mother buys pies. I’m a pie lover and so that’s good. 
  3. Family gatherings! I used to love this back before my mother and I left Texas. 

Things I dislike about the holidays:

  1. Lack of things to watch on TV. All my favorite shows wrap up with its mid-season finales and won’t be back until mid-January. What does that leave me to watch? Not much but reruns and Christmas specials.
  2. The holiday music on the radio. They all sound the same, just sang in a different way. The jingling, joyful-themed, as well as some of the sad-themed songs just feels a tad annoying.
  3. The cold winter and the inability to go out and not get a red nose. This year is especially worse. There’s no snow and it’s incredibly cold. It’s like being stuck in an ice chest. 

Pumpkin Pies for Lazy Cooks


I made a pumpkin pie yesterday! It’s the first one I made in 4 years. Read about it to see how it turned out! It’s beautiful, isn’t it?

Yinglan's avatarCrazy About Food

So on Tuesday night, my mother came home announcing her office at work was having some kind of get-together on Thursday and they had asked her to bring something. She didn’t know what until she got home. A pie, she insisted. But where can she get it? She didn’t want to drive 20 miles to Costco. So instead, she requested me to make one.

Fine, one Pumpkin Pie pronto.

We took a trip to the commissary up at the Air Force Base and gathered the ingredients.

  • 1 Large Can of Pumpkin Pie Filling
  • 1 5 fl-oz of evaporated milk
  • 1 pie shell
  • Along with that, I needed 2-eggs.

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DSCF9597

Yesterday, during my small break in between work, I went into chef mode and worked on the pie. The last pumpkin pie I made was more than four years ago, Thanksgiving eve, 2010, when a blizzard hit and I was snowed-in from school. My attempt…

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Can I relax now?


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Well, this week has been fun. Not really. Monday was my first day off for my Winter Break and I mean real day off where I have the house to myself for a few hours. I thought I’d write a lot this week, perhaps work on story I noted on my other blog but unfortunately, my week was ruin by my project manager and her stupid concern email. After working for such a long period, my creativity meter’s level fell to zero.

Thankfully, I just finished my work, just a few minutes ago actually. Hmm, I wonder if I can finally let out a breath and enjoy my holidays. In the last 3 days, I have worked 20.5 hours and translated over 5000 words. I woke up at 4 am yesterday and 6 am today to complete this annoying and boring monthly deadline. Yesterday, I’ve check and found out next month, there’s more. The deadline? January 12, the first day of school. I do hope I can complete it.

Anyway, now that I’ve done this month’s work and ran out of “me” time, I think I’d spend the last measly hours today, aside from going to the orthodontist and do the impression for my retainer, I think I’m going to blast the music on my stereo and sing. Ha ha, maybe but I think I have some other matters to take care of first:

  1. My AAA card will expire, got to call and take my mother’s name off it and pay the bill.
  2. I received a gift card two months and I think there’s a problem with it, so got to call and wait and wait.

After that, I hope people would chill for a while and cool it with the deadlines.

A Rebel and A Hero


Unsung heroes, eh? I’m not sure I have any having known so few people in my life. My biggest hero at the current moment is my mother who wakes up and leaves for work at 4 am everyday. Then she’d come home at around 5, cook, browse the internet, sleep, and then do it all over again.

I admire that about her, hard working and willing to sacrifice. I mean I think I’m a hard worker too but I don’t think I will ever be as a hard worker as she is. I don’t think I’d have the courage to go through basic training at the age of 42 or be able to complete 2 miles in 15 minutes.

Also I don’t think I have the guts to rebel against my family whereas my mother went against her parents’ wish by going to school and get a higher education instead of going into the job force right out of high school like her siblings. At the moment, my mother’s the only one in her family with a college degree and just so happens be the least favorite person in not only my grandfather’s mind but everyone else’s mind. I guess that makes her the unsung hero in her family.

*****

I have exactly 20 hours to myself this week and I intend to cherish every bit of it. Yes, I’m the only one who’s off this week. My mother has work and aunt and cousin has school. So now, I need to eat, go to the gym, and work on rewriting the novel I’ve been working for the past year.

See you tomorrow. 🙂

Proving my Generosity


I thought about doing the daily prompt today. Then again, I’m only in my early 20’s. And because of the wonderful doctors who somewhat cured me of my genetic disorder, okay, not cured specifically, more like prolonged my livelihood past my 30’s. My point, it’s a little too soon for me to have a bucket list let alone an anti-bucket list, if I even decide to have one.

Anyway, I got into a small argument with my mother on Friday because my aunt was whining her clothes got ruined from painting the rental home. My mom said it’s because I wouldn’t spare some of my clothes. Well, I’m sorry but I never said to buy this house, my aunt did and I’ve got plenty of clothes ruined from painting houses. Does it mean now that she doesn’t get to sacrifice some of her clothes?

I lost my temper and screamed at my mom because she kept calling me selfish. What made me lose my temper wasn’t what she called me but how she said it, in that mocking tone, like a tease. I don’t like to be teased or mocked.

I kept telling her I don’t have any clothes to spare. It’s not because I’m sentimental and selfish either, it’s because I really don’t have any. Most of my clothes are brand-new, purchased in the recent months, less than a year old. Besides, most of my clothes are short-sleeved and twice as big as what my aunt owned and my aunt’s like a Quaker, I’ve never seen her in anything less than a long-sleeves turtleneck, long pants, and childishly colorful socks.

So my aunt wore one of her turtlenecks and jeans that day and she and my mom spent the whole day Friday painting the rental home while I spent the day running around town on my own. Her turtleneck and jeans were slightly ruined (splattered by paint) but she was reluctant to throw it away unlike my mother. So it’s currently soaking in a large bucket of water downstairs in the laundry room.

It was completely wrong of my mom to call me selfish. I am not a selfish person, if anything, I’m unselfish. If I’m selfish, I would’ve kept all my food to myself instead of sharing it with everyone else. I wouldn’t have allowed anyone else to watch TV or use my internet.

So I spent the entire day yesterday proving to everybody I’m not selfish. We went out for dim sum and morning tea for the first time in months and I paid for it with my own money. I even threw in a generous 20% tip because we occupied the table for so long.

Then when we went to the Chinese supermarket and bought enough grocery to hopefully last more than a week this time, I once again paid for it out of my own money. I felt kind of gut-wrenching when I swiped that card because I’ve never spent more than $100 a day except when I get my course material for school and tuition payment due date. But it proved my point. I am not a selfish person. End of discussion.

The Opportunity He Threw Away


There he was, sitting in the back seat behind me. I could hear the pull of the seat belt. I hate that noise, it sounded like something was being pulled. What the heck is he doing?

That’s how things break, from pulling too often and too hard

It wasn’t the first time I heard that noise. I’ve heard it every time when I give him a lift the past three months. It felt like he was trying to lean forward but the seat belt wouldn’t give. It made me fear that the more he pulled, the larger the chance that it’d snag and break. That’s tension, I learned that in my second semester of engineering.

Some pedestrians is slow and annoying

Sit back, won’t ya. I wanted to scold him for moving around but couldn’t. I was having enough trouble maneuvering through the pedestrian-filled downtown to shout at anyone. Beside, if I scold him, I’d sound like my mother. I decided to focus on the music blaring from the radio. It distracted me slightly. I almost ran into the back of the car before me.

Ugh, I thought, and that’s why I prefer to go see my orthodontist alone. Downtown is such a complex area of the city with the new mall and Temple Square and the hills.

Once I made it out of downtown and toward the freeway entrance, my grip on the steering wheel loosened and I asked. “So what did you think of the school?”

More than an hour ago, I had dropped my aunt and cousin off at the university so they could tour the campus while I got my braces examined. “It’s okay.” He answered.

I arched my brow. Okay? That’s it? “What do you like about the school?” I inquired further, sounding like a journalist. My chest was pounding because I didn’t want to come off as invasive even if I had thought of asking as a concerned relative.

I watched him shrug in the rear-view mirror. Then he sighed. “It doesn’t really matter. I’m going to this school.”

What? Why? I almost wanted to shriek. Instead, another question escaped my lips. “Then what are you going to study?”

He sighed again. “Engineering?” It came out like a question. Perhaps he wasn’t sure, I thought hopefully.

“Are you sure? It’s going to be hard.” I said but I also meant to implied that after all, I just went through the same thing. I watched him shrug again.

“But why this school though?” I knew the reasons why but I just wanted to hear it coming from him.

My aunt had actually implied several weeks ago when he was registering for his TOEFL exams but I read between the line. He wanted to go to this school so he could be near us. That’s what she said. Yeah right.

He wasn’t planning to live in the dorms, he was planning to live here and use our water, eat our food, and occupy the basement. Another part of his clever plan was to have one of us chauffeur him back and forth between the train station. I secretly raised my brow at her at the time. She can be a scary woman but my point, NO WAY. You’ve already lived in my home in China for all these years, I’m not having you take over my current home either.

“I’m still deciding. I need to see my TOEFL score first. Even then, it won’t be too late for me to decide.”

I quietly scoffed. Not too late? I beg the differ. I focused on my driving and the car ride grew silent for a few minutes while I waited for the commercial to be over and return to the music. My mom and I have always disliked this quality about these people we called family. Whenever they are asked to plan something, they’d say, “Whatever, we’ll decide when the time comes.” Whenever they’re asked what they’d like to eat, they’d say, “Whatever is good.”

Well, how should we know? We aren’t mind-readers. And if you don’t plan ahead, you’ll miss out on the tiny details and you might even have to delay your plans.

I sighed. “You need to be ready as soon as possible.” I felt like I was sounding more and more like my mother. “Here in the U.S., everything is about planning ahead.” You need to tone it down, now. I told myself. “When you go see your adviser in the first semester, he or she will ask you to map out your entire path at the university. I did that in my very first class. It’s all about long-term and short-term planning.”

“Mmm,” that was his response. That was all I get? For telling him my experience? Mmm? No how do I get admitted? No what do you recommend I do? Not even a thank you?

The car ride is silent afterward. Neither he nor I asked another question and I’ve decide you know what? You don’t deserve my expertise.

If you’re so clever to ignore my suggestions, I’ll watch you hit road block after another. You can get yourself admitted into the school, register for your first semester of classes, and get yourself into a dorm room. I already know those would be his first challenges because he’ll think the deadlines are still a long ways away for him to be worry and he still has to try again on his TOEFL. I have a feeling he’ll stay here for as long as my aunt lets him because heck, my aunt’s on his side. So he’s enjoying playing that card.

Well, cousin…

Don’t come crying for help because you didn’t read and understand the dates of when to submit the admission forms and when each tasks need to get done.

Don’t come crying for help when you go to the bookstore and saw all those ridiculous prices on books and wonder how some people can afford them.

Don’t come crying for help when you don’t know what courses to take for your first semester because this is all you’ll get from us. “Uh, I don’t know.”

Figure it out yourself because you didn’t listen when I told you to plan ahead.

Sometimes, it’s best to hide


Happy Friday!

Today is the first day of my winter break but I woke up this morning by this pain in my right arm. I hope the nerve in neck aren’t swollen again and is not now affecting my arm.

Anyway, I took a look at the prompt this morning, more question and answer. Will there be a prompt that actually inspires me to write a story? Of course, lying is not okay, it’s never okay! Otherwise, why would anyone teach us that? On the other hand, you can’t expect a person to tell the truth all the time either. The truth hurts sometimes, you know.

Sometimes, it’s better to just tell neither, to simply to just hide the truth.

I remember the start of junior year into my engineering program. My grades from the semester before were terrible. I couldn’t understand why except that numbers just aren’t on my side. The entire semester, I couldn’t find a single proper answer to a single problem. I followed the exact same procedure as taught by the instructor and still couldn’t get the right answer.

About two weeks after receiving my grades, I received an email from my adviser saying that I’ve been down-graded from major status to pre-engineering status. That was terrible news for me, for anyone, in this matter.

To be back at pre-engineering status meant I couldn’t be enrolled into the already registered classes. It meant the only class I could be enrolled was the one I’m retaking. Worst of all, it meant I only had one course.

Quickly, thoughts swirled in my head. How am I going to explain to mom when she sees the tuition bill and only sees one course register? What am I supposed to tell her? That my grades were so terrible that I’ve been kicked out of the program?

My head and chest pounded as I got up and paced back and forth in my room, trying to come up with a solution. Then I decided. I’m going to fix this myself and I’m going to tell mom nothing. She will know nothing of this. My adviser and I communicated back and forth through email.

For two days, my hands shook and I hardly had any appetite. I felt bad about hiding this from her. In my freshman year, I failed Chemistry. I hated this, I’ve never failed anything in my life. When mom discovered, she was angry but at the time, she didn’t have as bad of a temper as she has now. But she told me, “If you don’t tell me, I can’t help you.” So maybe she helped me then, she could help me now.

But another part of me thought otherwise. So I kept it from her. Two days later, a solution came, it was like god-sent. I discovered in my degree audit report that they never took the “E” I got from Chemistry away and thus lowering my GPA to below requirement. I emailed my adviser and told her what I’ve found and asked her to have that removed since I’ve already taken that class. I was back on track.

The lie in that little story was that I pretended to be fine when everything was fine. I should have told my mother the truth instead of hiding it from her. On the other hand, I wanted to prove to her that I can handle things on my own, that I don’t need her guidance on every misstep I happen upon this crazy journey call life. I guess I’ve proven that here.

Breathe, Relax, and Smile, Exams are over


Breathe, relax, smile, exams are over!

To be honest, I didn’t want to write today but my mind kept telling me that today’s prompt’s easy and I should at least write something. Oh well, at least I’ll complete this in 10 minutes.

I woke this morning at 7-something by my mother barging into my room shaking me awake. Today was my last final exam of the semester and it’s the toughest, individual taxation, yikes. Right now, I feel like my brain’s fried and about to explode into a million pieces but I’ve missed my TV show. Oh well.

At 8 am, after I had two pieces of toast, I proceeded to my mother’s room where she went over every single note she’d written down for the course. You see, she took the same exam yesterday and had a few ideas of what I’ll encounter today.  As I sat there and listened to her talk, I felt like my brain was about to explode with new knowledge flowing from my ears and eyes to my brain every single second.

It went on for roughly two hours. After that, I went back to my room and studied everything all over again, twice three maybe five times (I lost count) before I ate lunch and drove to school, to my doom.

The exam was both what I expected and not what I expected. Some questions325420429_ManyQuestions_answer_2_xlarge jumped out while some, I felt lost like I haven’t a single clue what to do. I did alright, I guess, enough to secure me a “B” in this class, if the professor’s nice enough to give me the remaining 0.2% to get me a “B” instead of “B-“.

What I’m worrying the most about is yesterday’s exam. I just hope the professor is nice enough to give me a “B” in that class too. Then I won’t have to live with a “C” in my first semester of my graduate program. A “C” is not too bad though, at least it’s better than an “E”, now that’s devastating to my GPA.

But anyway, the semester’s finally over and I can finally take a breath, yay! 🙂

All or Nothing?


“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” — Sylvia Plath

Which do you find more dangerous: wanting nothing, or wanting everything?

I find both ends of the spectrum dangerous. Wanting everything can put a person in desperate situations that can lead a person to stealing, fights, and a whole lot of other things. Wanting nothing can mean a person is depressed and needs help. It can also mean this person wants no any sort of object whatsoever. It can just mean they want money.

I find a person healthy when they want something in between.

Horrible post for a horrible prompt and it’s not linking!

Got an exam to study for, later.

Everything I want…


You’re given unlimited funds to plan one day full of any and all luxuries you normally can’t afford. Tell us about your extravagant day with as much detail as possible.

Oh boy, will these funds just magically disappear the next day? Because I’m not a spend it all now kind of person. I would stash some of the unlimited funds for later. But with unlimited fund for a day, I can buy and get a lot of the things I’ve been wanting but unable to get.

  1. I can buy myself a brand new car instead of keep using my mother’s. Oh, it’s not just any new car, a new hybrid car. Gas is still expensive and I like one that can get me a better mileage but at the same time, I don’t want a car that’s light as air. So a $50,000 hybrid, it is. 🙂
  2. My mother’s dream vacation home by the lake. I’m such a people pleaser.
    Wouldn’t it be nice to sit with a coffee and stare at that view?

    A few months ago, after my mother’s fallout from acquiring the piece of land she wanted, she went online and began searching for houses by Utah Lake. Our jaws fell at each of them. I mean the backyard is a freakin’ beach. Unfortunately they also come with a ridiculous price tag. Worry not, mother, for today only, I have unlimited fund and I will make you the owner of one of those beautiful houses.

  3. Update the kitchens and bathrooms of all three houses as well as fix whatever needs to be fixed. I am so darn tired of hearing my mother complain whenever something breaks or doesn’t work right in one of the three houses especially the one I’m living in now. Also, everything in all three houses just feel so ugly and out-dated. So, new floors, new counter-tops, new tubs, toilets, sinks, everything.
  4. I go shop for a piece of land for myself. That’s where the stash comes in. I would wait and build myself a cozy little house.
  5. The final thing is always the small thing. I would:
    1. get myself a brand-new wardrobe. New clothes, shoes, everything
    2. buy a 60-inch TV for my mother
    3. pay-off my student loan debt
    4. get myself new tablet? Maybe one of those Surface Pros. Oh and a really nice camera so I can finally take beautiful scenic pictures.

There are so much I can do that after five things, I can’t think of anymore I want to do but these would be the first. But let’s be real, the only way this day would come, it would be in my dreams.

Have to go study. See ya!

Pain in the Neck


Today’s prompt is very odd and specific, Today, write a post about the topic of your choice — using only one-syllable words.

I don’t know why but my aunt has been a pain in the neck of late. I find her now and then to speak her thoughts out loud. Like how she comes up the stairs and says, “I need to pee.”

I’m like, I don’t need to know that. Just go!

Then each day, at ’round 2, she will ask me, “What will we eat?”

I’ll be like, “We just ate lunch and you want to know the next meal?” At least let me get some work done first, then I’ll think ’bout food.

That’s the laugh! Shoulders go up and down

The thing that drives me nuts is the way she laughs. I don’t know how to tell you. If you look to your left, it says a lot. It’s quite weird and now and then, I get mad ’cause come on, I have a lot of work here and what you do does not help me.

The third and last thing is that she speaks so darn loud. When I sit next to herand she turns to me to talk, I feel like she talks through a bull-horn. Now and then, I’d tell her, “please bring your voice down.” Still, she keeps her voice loud as a mic. Ugh, I feel like I will go deaf if she goes on this loud.

I took my first final exam to-day and got 100%. Yay! One down, three to go. 🙂

Gut Instinct


My neck is feeling a bit better today, at least I can turn it left and right even if still hurts. Thanks to my mother for rubbing this Swiss ointment on me last night. It works better than Bengay and electromagnetic therapy!

Anyway, there are only two areas where I am confident about my gut feeling, cooking and driving. Because well, in cooking, most of the time, I don’t have recipe for me to follow. The amount of salt, sugar, and seasoning to put to marinade something, it’s all based on feel and instinct. 

And driving, well, I need my instinct to tell me sometimes when it’s safe to change lanes or when it’s safe to turn. Like yesterday, I couldn’t turn my head and I had to change lanes a couple times. I could only rely on my instincts that it was safe to make the maneuver and maybe getting a small painful peek into the passenger side mirror. But sometimes, even my instinct is wrong. Otherwise, I would not have that accident in 2010.

That’s why I don’t usually rely on my instinct because it’s wrong. Like when my instinct told me to skip the second class on that unfortunate snowy day despite the weather wasn’t that horrible outside, well, my instinct got me in a crash. How is that for making the right call?

Although it wasn’t my fault but the car is still slightly damaged and who knows what it’ll do to my mother’s insurance premium.

At the moment, I’m fighting with my instinct on something, health insurance. I’m shopping for health insurance right now and all these words, deductible, out of pocket, coinsurance, just sounds like gibberish to me. My gut is telling me the lower the deductible, the better but honestly, I don’t know whether to go high or get the minimum.

Any suggestions???

Surviving in a Bad Neighborhood


I cannot sleep. My entire right side is in a lot of pain. So here I am, sitting rigidly at my computer at 7 in the morning thinking about what kind of story I’ll share for today’s prompt.

Honestly, I have never heard of this famous song about New York but these lyrics sure take me back. During my first years in the U.S, I lived in a very bad neighborhood in the suburbs of Los Angeles. Of course, now this neighborhood is a little better. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. But still, I think if you can make it in this town, you can make it anywhere because anywhere will just seems heavenly. 

By now, you might have hear me talk about my middle school days as the happiest time of my life but those days were also filled with adventures and failures.

Like failure to catch the thieves that stole my pencils and erasers. Well, those are small things but what my wallet, stolen right out of my backpack on the school bus that afternoon. Or my keys, stolen from the depth of my backpack while I was walking home from school with my friend. No wait, that was one of those victorious times. Thank god my friend noticed it and saw who did it.

The moment I noticed my keys were missing and saw the bully dangled it not far ahead from me, I sprinted, faster and faster, like my life depended on it. Unfortunately she was quicker. I was never a fast runner.

So I ran to the next best thing, the vice-principal. I told him about my stolen keys and who had it. He didn’t even have to go back to the office to check for the bully’s address. He knew exactly where to go. I got in the back seat and he got in the front and we sped to the girl’s house like cops.

When we got there, the girl was actually standing outside dangling my keys as if she was waiting for us. The moment she saw the vice-principal get out of the car, her victorious grin faded.

“Hand over the keys, Daisy.” I heard him say and willingly, she surrendered the keys to the vice-principal.

That was easy, right? Unfortunately, like all stories, there’s a twist. The villain is never satisfy when they loses and when they’re unsatisfied, they seek vengeance .

Several weeks after the keys incident as well as the hair-touching incident (another time), both bullies sought revenge against me. My mother couldn’t come to pick me up from school one day and she didn’t want me walking home alone. So she told me to take the school bus.

I didn’t realize until I sat down that the two bullies were sitting behind me. I quickly wrapped my arms around my backpack and hugged it against my chest to prevent anymore thievery. Just before I got off, I made sure that every zipper was closed before I swung my backpack over my shoulder.

The next day at school, I searched my entire backpack for my library card. My wallet was missing and I knew exactly who had it. I went to vice-principal and reported my wallet went missing and told him my suspicion.

He brought the girl to his office and asked her but she denied. Case closed, just like that. On the way out, she smirked at me and to this day, I still think it was her who had stolen my wallet just like her best friend took my keys.

2 pieces of advice I would not wish upon anyone


“Be aggressive,” and “Be flexible”. These are two pieces of advice given to me by my mother that I would not give to anyone else. I will explain why but first I want to explain why she gave me these advice.

Be more Flexible!

Whoa, I don’t think she meant that literally

My mother thinks I am stubborn and don’t know how to turn things around sometimes. So she often lectures me, telling me to be more flexible. But sometimes, I wonder if I am even the one who should be taking this advice.

Like yesterday, I went in my mother’s place to verify if our tenant really works at this place. I told her later that even the manager don’t know this person. She asked me something I can’t remember and I told her I was treating it like an investigation. She took it literally and gave me this big lecture about me don’t know how to ask smartly.

“No wonder they won’t tell you anything.” She said. She thought I told the manager I was investigating.

“I was treating it like an investigation.” I told her, annoyed. “I never said I told the manager I was investigating anyone.”

“Well next time, be more flexible when you speak.” And she walked away. It leaves me wonder whether my mother should be the one that needs to be more flexible.

Be more Aggressive!

Now, that’s overly aggressive.

As usual, my mother likes to take charge of my life and I somehow let her. Well, what can I do when I’m living with a fire-breathing dragon?

Anyway, about three years ago, I got my first interview for an internship, I was completely ecstatic. Of course, my mother wouldn’t let me drive myself to the interview and insisted to drive me there herself.

On the way, she talked and talked, blabbed on and on, coaching me on what to say. I didn’t bother to listen because honestly how do I even know what’s asked in a job interview. I was just thinking of going in and winging in.

So I decided to just looked out the window until she said, “Did you hear me?” and it snapped me back to reality.

“Yeah,” I said and shook my head.

“I said be aggressive.” I nodded. “You need to make the employer want you. Answer confidently.”

I did everything she asked and didn’t get the internship. I had a couple more interviews since then and still no luck. Two weeks ago, I had one again. This time, I chose to just be myself. My mother has to stop helping me. I need to get this internship and move out to purge her influence on me and my career. Unfortunately, no news yet. I’m hoping soon though, crossing my fingers.

Here is why I won’t give these advice to anyone:

  1. I don’t tell people things unless I am very confident. I think before I speak but sometimes it doesn’t turn out so well. Besides, it’s my mother’s advice, it can turn awry like everything in my life.
  2. Some people may already be flexible and giving them this piece of advice might make them become over-flexible which is bad sometimes.
  3. The same goes to aggressive. If you’re overly aggressive, you’ll get competitive and no one will like you or maybe it’ll even get you fired.

My advice to you: Be yourself! Because without other’s advice, it will change you into someone you’re not.

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times


Today’s Daily Prompt gave a quote from Charles Dicken’s A Tale of Two Cites. A book that I haven’t yet read but this quote took me back to the day when I had to say good bye to my mother because she was leaving me again. This was back in early 2000 or 2001, I can’t remember but it was the best Chinese New Year I’ve ever had.

I was staying at my grandparents’ for my winter break when one night, my aunt suddenly called to say she’s taking me home. Normally, I’d be happy to go but Chinese New Year was coming and staying with my grandparents was an excellent chance for me to get some 红包 (lucky money) even if it’s just a couple bucks.

On the way back to my aunt’s apartment, I asked her why so sudden. She told me my mother was coming home. I was like ha, yeah right.

I went to bed that night smiling, laughing at the idea that my mother was coming. The next morning, I got a surprise. I was startled awake by none other than my mother. At first, I thought it was a dream but it wasn’t, she was really here.

During the first few days, she felt like a stranger because after all, I haven’t seen her in 2 or 3 years and skype didn’t exist then. But as the days went by, we grew close again. We did a lot of fun things and went to a lot of new places but before long, she had to leave again.

“I will be back for you.” She told me.

All the way to the airport, we talked and joked but when we got back in the car after dropping her at the airport, I was silent the whole way, just kept looking out the window, wanted to just say my proper goodbye to my mother. So even if we went to all these fun places and did all these fun things, when it comes to saying goodbye, it’s the worst of times.

Five things to realize a great friend


I woke up an hour ago and looked at the prompt for today. My initial reaction was What the heck? and then my brain basically went blank. Should I even participate?

But then I thought about what if I was the one that got stuck on a desert island, I bet I will only get a big lecture from my mother, no doubt. But my former best friend? Probably a sarcastic don’t know don’t care and telling me to walk it off. So if the situation was reversed, would I do the same? Heck yeah. Why should I care when you didn’t?

Of course, I can’t imagine my mother ever get stranded. She’s had basic training and a bunch monthly drills with the army during the past 6 years. I’m pretty sure she’ll find a clever way to survive. My friend, on the other hand, might be in trouble. She maybe tough but she’s also someone who would shriek if her perfectly manicured nails were ruined. I can imagine her become one of those kids in Lord of the Flies. 😀

Let’s say before her unfortunate journey, I send her off with five things. These things are:

  1. A burner phone that has enough minutes to make one possibly two phone calls. Let’s say, hypothetically, the desert island has cell signal and she uses the phone to call me as most people do when they need help. I pick up and do that evil laugh. Now is my turn to say, “I don’t know what to do either.” Walk it off.
  2. It isn’t all that bad

    A 10-day supply of freeze-dried food. Yep, the kind that astronaut eats. It’s not too bad but 🙂 I can imagine my friend’s face. Oh, and it’s a 10-day supply if you eat according to the servings.

  3. A filter for clean water. I can’t be that evil, can I. I need to at least provide a way for some clean filtered water. Otherwise, my best friend will die before I can tell her of all the horrible humiliating things she’s done to me.

    A water filter
  4. Clean tropical clothes. At least she’ll have some spare clothes to change into.
  5. The photo of us snapped outside my apartment. Before we fell apart, my mother snapped a picture of us just outside the apartment. My friend framed it in a frame that said best friends forever and she gave it to a short time later. I will give her this photo to remind her of the time I’ve been loyal to her and the times when we were friends.

I can’t imagine what the conclusion of this will be. Once my friend gets rescued, there’s a chance she’ll hate me forever or she wants to be friends again. I guess we’ll never find out.

Thank you!


Auntie Ying, after all this time, I realized I never thanked you for all the things you’ve done for me during the past two months. You lightened my load a lot to the point that I am able to concentrate on my studying and not worry about chores. Continue reading “Thank you!”

The Toughest Decision of a Lifetime


In July of 2007, I ultimately made the toughest decision I’ve ever made in my entire life (at least so far). I was literally involved in a game of tug-of-war between my parents. The decision: to stay with my step-father or to leave with my mother. Continue reading “The Toughest Decision of a Lifetime”