Aha, I have finally discovered the real reason of why my mom won’t let me to leave, why she’s so fixed on me staying.
Reason #1: She needs a house-sitter to watch her three houses while she “supposedly” will go make a career to be a tour guide. On Friday, on the drive home from Costco, I told her, “Without the weight of tuition, I can totally afford to move out.”
It’s kind of true, I guess, that I have the ability of moving out and be on my own. But it will be tight and I have to work three jobs unless I find a very good job that the pay trumps my current two jobs.
She was surprised and shocked, of course, but mostly, she was worried. Here’s how she responded, “With you gone, who will watch my houses while I go make money as a tour guide?”
I rolled my eyes. Unless she moves to California, there is no way she’s going to be a tour guide year-round.
Reason #1: This is Utah and most of the Chinese tour companies will only stop in Utah just so they could spend the night before departing for Yellowstone the next day. That’s reason #2.
Reason #2: Yellowstone only opens half of year (May to October) and with Yellowstone shut down during Winter, there’s no point for Chinese tourists to go to Mount Rushmore or any other places east of Yellowstone. Thus, they have no reason of stopping in Salt Lake City.
Reason #3: I have doubts she’ll make a good tour guide with her cranky temper or is she only like that with family?
Reason #2 for not wanting me to move out: “The bills for power, gas, and utilities will still be the same whether you’re here or not. So why not stay and give me the rent money instead. Besides, who will watch the three houses for me while I’m on tour?”
I must admit, she makes some very good and valid points, alright but the thing is, I’d really like to be alone. Sure, there’s a possibility I might run into some troubles along the way. I mean, who doesn’t know that? Those are unavoidable. There’s no such thing as smooth sailing in life.
But sometimes, it’s just better if we’re alone. Like yesterday, every time, I began to quiet my mind and began my meditation, she called my name. And it happened again and again. It took me five tries to squeeze in 10 minutes of quiet meditation. I’ll bet this will never happen when I live alone.
Another perk of moving out? I get to actually cook and make what I want and no one will pinch their faces in disgust by the things I make and no one will scream at me for making the kitchen dirty. It’ll be my kitchen.
I can think of a thousand other perks like I finally get to travel and do some fun recreation stuff like join some clubs on Meetup or maybe finally buy a new camera and hit the trails.
Okay, I have to stop. Thinking about these perks just increased my desire by a thousand times and I can’t have that right now. I need to concentrate on finding my path first which may or may not be shorter than I originally thought. Let’s just see how my meeting next Tuesday with my adviser will go first. Wish me luck.