I am 4-foot-8-inches tall and I often tell people, “I may be a small person but I am stronger than I look.”
Last week, after the water softener was installed at my house, mom called me at work, “get 4 bags of water softener salt.” Those are 40-pounds each (about 18 kilograms). Bag by bag, I hoisted into a shopping cart and then into the back of car, without any help. That made me feel physically strong.
I also feel strong when I’m able to do stuff on my own, especially without the help of a man. It infuriates me to ask for the help of a man, I don’t know. Maybe because I haven’t known any good man my whole life:
- My biological dad was a neat freak (so I heard) who didn’t handle physical work at home
- My uncle (who I lived with for 3 years) was and is a sensitive jerk who blamed me when every little thing that went wrong and never did and still doesn’t do any physical chores
- My step-father drank and smoke and made me do the physical chores
You get the point. I’ve never relied on man but when my uncle (mom’s brother, not the sensitive jerk) came and began living next door, he took over a lot of the physical tasks like doing some of the yucky handy work. I appreciated that very much.
What I didn’t appreciate was him taking over the chores like shoveling snow and mowing lawns, chores which I can absolutely do. It made me feel weak. I wanted to say, “I have never relied on a man and I am not going to start now,” but held my tongue as it is no way to talk to elders.
What I’m trying to say is I am a pretty strong person – mentally and physically. I can get 160-pound of salt into my car okay. I can lift 20 pounds over my head. I have survived living under the same roof as my mom for so long without truly breaking mentally. If I need help, I will ask for it. If I didn’t ask help, I’m doing all right.