In several occasions during the past few years, I have been placed in a room full of strangers, mostly students I don’t know. Most of the times, they would ask me about my story but none of the times, they would give me the full allotted time to do. I mean, at least give me 2 minutes. I would’ve been grateful for four but come on, they would had lost their attention by then. After all, they are teenagers, they have a shorter attention span during adults.
In those occasions when I am placed in a classroom full of bratty hormonal teenagers who think life is all about shopping for brand-names like my cousin. He won’t wear anything that’s not a famous brand-name like Nike or Calvin Klein. That’s why we had to go to the Outlet Mall on Saturday, to get some brand-name clothing for him. Same with the ones I used to deal with at a time when people barely classified me as an adult.
Anyway, I am usually only given about 30 seconds to a minute to introduce myself before those people realize they don’t need to take me seriously. I can never figure out why until I looked myself in the mirror and realized I wasn’t intimidating enough. Clearly, you need to have an intimidating face to be a teacher and if you don’t, well, let’s just say you will come home screaming everyday crying out “Why!”
Anyway, at the start of the class, I would say something like, “I am Yinglan and you will be learning ESL from me.”
Then someone would raise their hand, “What is ESL?”
“English-as-a-Second-Language.”
“Anyway, I will be teaching you the basis of English starting with grammar and vocabulary.” Then I’d pass out the disclosure statement, all the teachers does it, that states my rules. I’d read each rule aloud, then have them sign it. Just like that, strict town and anxiety was over. They began talking and not listening to me.
They must have sensed something about me that I couldn’t sense myself. They have decided to not take me seriously. That’s why I like blogging by the way, people here don’t know who I am, they don’t know what I sound like. I am just another normal-ish person. If I was given a chance to be in a room full of stranger that would give me 4 minutes of their undivided attention, I would be able to tell from life story and by that, I mean, the slightly extended version of “About me“.

In the past week, I’ve managed to learn something new about my extended family. It turns out I have a bunch more of family in China, more than I’ve ever known (grandparents, aunts, uncles).



There are always a million things we want to change about our lives. So to 


Once in a while, we all
I can choose to listen to happy songs but I cannot choose a happy movie, or show, or book. Every movie, show, and book have its