One of the great things I’ve found out about having my aunt and cousin here is that they can take some of the pressure off of my shoulder.
Since they’ve arrived, mom’s anger and frustrations have been targeted toward them instead of me. I think that’s good for me because I can use a break from all the criticizing and arguing.
When I say arguing, it’s mostly one-sided as always, mom does the yelling while everyone else is silent. I have never enjoyed those criticism and I don’t think anyone else will. I guess I’d like to be treated gently.
Geez, mom’s yelling downstairs again about something my cousin did and I have just lost my train of thought.
Ah, yes, criticism! I don’t usually respond to criticism. I guess my brain got re-wired when all I hear every day is you’re doing this wrong, you should be more like that, and my favorite, why can’t you be smarter? I got used to hear those words that it doesn’t faze me anymore. However, I do fight back sometimes when I hear one that makes me tick. Now there goes a lengthy battle.
You know what’s awful about them being here? I am more invisible. A lot of times in these past week, it’s like no one hears me. Although I enjoy being alone, with everyone ignoring me just made me feel more alone than being alone because being alone, at least I can do what I want without thinking of anybody but me. This morning I woke up and nobody talked to me, they didn’t even say “Happy Birthday!” 😦