I wanted to post yesterday but…


Exhaustion and laziness took over. Ever since my test on Tuesday, I didn’t want to do anything. Even now, I still don’t want to do anything but I can’t do that, can I?

On Friday morning, after waiting ’til the last day, I finally got an agenda for Saturday’s club meeting. Then that night, after spending a half-an-hour late in the night preparing for a last-minute speech, I decided to just wing the speech the next day, speak at the top of my head even though I wrote the speech more than two weeks ago as a “Throwback Thursday” post (hint: it’s the one about braces).

Yesterday morning, I was again shaken out of bed in the wee early hours (6:30 am) in the morning by mom for what was the 6th time this week. She was in a hurry off to her monthly training and was having trouble scanning papers onto her computer. So here I am, half asleep, trying to see the blurry error message on the computer while operating the scanner. It just said the printer was low in ink. Why couldn’t she read that for herself?

As soon as that was done, I immediately went back to sleep only to be woken up less than 2 minutes later. This time, she couldn’t find her phone. “Where’s my cell?” She stood over me demanded.

“Um, it’s charging in your room?” I groaned sleepily.

She shuffled out the room and found the phone on her nightstand, charging. “How did you know where it was?” She said where she put it like 10 minutes ago, didn’t she? But I was simply too sleepy to answer.

Anyway, three hours later, I found myself along with two other members of my club trying to get into our meeting spot. I used to work at the school and got my finger printed to access the building. Unfortunately, the security system at the door is all too stubborn. It refused to let me in! I kept pressing my thumb on the thing and it kept flashing red light until my luck changed. It beeped and just like that the doors unlocked and we’re in.

The school corridor felt empty, dark, and cold like I’ve just walked onto a horror movie set. Thank god I wasn’t alone, otherwise I’d be scared. We used the school library for our meeting spot and in the end, only two other people showed. So our meeting was short and quick with me winging my speech in six-minutes-sixteen-seconds and a lot of suggestions were made to improve the meeting. Afterward, I went home, made some of my mom’s famous wontons and went up to my room. But not before mom’s annoying friend called and said she would come over to bring some vegetables to us.

That basically delayed me in taking the quizzes for my summer classes. An hour later, she showed up with two large white bags, one with Chinese bok choy and the other filled with watercress. It barely fit into the fridge but I forced it in. Ah, finally, I can take my exam BUT as I logged onto the website and about to begin, mom comes home and demanded I help her unload the grocery. Now our fridge is basically full to the brim. The cherries are stacked on top of the eggs, the vegetables are on top of the rice, and the pound cakes are squeezed in the middle.

Then it was exam time. I took almost the entire time (1 hour), searching for answers on the web since the book was so lack of everything (details, answers…). Naturally, I got them all right. After that, I just didn’t want to do anything more. I didn’t want to relax either. I don’t know what I want to do exactly. All I know is I don’t want to take anymore exams!!!

But I can’t, can I. I have to take two more today and the midterm tomorrow. Then, I would have to work, complete 5 discussions for my microeconomics class, and write a 4-5 pages essay for both my micro and macroeconomics classes. (Sigh) At this rate, when can I go to the gym? This has to be my busiest summer yet.

I need to get my thoughts on something, don’t I?

Have a wonderful Sunday!

Goals for the remainder of this Summer


Wait, it’s the “remainder of this Summer” already??? 😮

Yes! Yes, it is and before you know it, Fall rolls around and then the Winter. Time flies! I guess that’s the one down side of being so optimistic. Anyway, I’m going to savor what’s left of this summer by getting the most I can out of it.

  1. First and most important goal, PASS my two summer classes! And I don’t mean just C’s, I want A’s! But I have taken my GMAT exam yesterday, don’t ask, I now have one thing out of the way, I can focus on my remainder tasks which are classes.
  2. Become committed to exercise again. Even though I haven’t gain a pound over the last two months after I quit exercising because of all the crazy stuff that’s popped up out of the blue, I need to whip myself into shape again for when my aunt gets here. I don’t want to give her any excuses to make fun of me. So I need to go to gym and do some hard-core exercising. Who’s with me?peanuts-never-give-up-238x300
  3. Keep up with blogging! You cannot believe how many times I wanted to quit especially in the past week or past month even. That’s probably why my posts have been so shoddy but your likes, follows, comments, and all the traffic kept me going. I need to prove to myself that I AM NOT A QUITTER and do not have commitment issues.
  4. Keep my anxiety and anger under control. That is not a very good goal, is it? For me, it is. The fact that my emotions have never been so out of control scares me. I mean, often times, I am happy but then I would suddenly find myself getting angry over little things. I need to work on that.
  5. I don’t know at the moment what else I’d like to achieve over this summer. I can always read a few books but it’s not much compared to these big goals.

In my opinion, this summer have been the least “chilled” and productive summer of my life. So much to do and no time to do it. Just work and study but at least now I have one less thing to study. 🙂

Thanks for reading and see you back here soon!

Sorry for Starting the Fire


Don’t worry, I didn’t start any actual fire or burn anything. It’s just a way to describe what I went through this past hour. Continue reading “Sorry for Starting the Fire”

Hot Cocoa in June


Oh my gosh, you won’t believe how ridiculous the weather has been. And you might not believe that I’m sitting at home at 8 in the morning doing nothing except huddling around a steaming cup of hot cocoa with heart-shaped marshmallows. Yes, there’s been a change in the weather and it’s ridiculously freezing here. Continue reading “Hot Cocoa in June”

In 90 days…


In 90 days comes the day I dread. September 16 will be the end of the two-some life, just me and my mom because we are adding two more members to the family. Well, maybe four but I’m hoping not. Continue reading “In 90 days…”

The Consequences of Procrastination


Remember from my post from last Saturday, Continue reading “The Consequences of Procrastination”

A Little Pick-Me-Up for Monday


Obviously, I know what you all are thinking, not a very good and attractive title but I couldn’t think of a good title and I’m too stubborn to leave this title-less. So moving on. I would first like to present this inspiring quote for your Monday.

inspirational-quotes-about-life-tumblr_Never Give Up,” that’s the most important part of the quote because I managed to get through a frustratingly disoriented and distressing weekend no thanks to a certain minor disorder I call Graves’ Disease.

I sat in front of my computer yesterday, wanting to write a post, work, read a book, do something but I couldn’t. Not because of writer’s block or anything but because even after 12+ hours of sleep, I was still exhausted, the back of my head felt like a ton of bricks, and my hands continuously trembled like a 90-year-old woman trying to walk a step holding a cane. Mainly, I felt just plain disoriented, like I wasn’t the driver of my body anymore, I was the passenger hitching a ride. In the least to say, I was horribly moody and shaky all weekend.

Why?

At my last meeting with my doctor, he  told me these were all symptoms of Graves’ Disease or hyperthyroidism, a small, common, and incurable thyroid disease I somehow mysteriously contracted more than a half decade back and now, the subject of my frequent doctor’s visits. Anyway, it’s never been this bad before though. Usually, the symptoms will just last for a half day max. It’s never gone on for two straight days before.

Hmm, I wonder. Can it be getting worse? Can it be the medication doing this? I’ve already reduced it to a bare minimum. Of course many other thoughts crossed my mind as I am sitting here right now trying to contain my hand muscles but honestly I think it’s either the medication or the disease.

Ugh, I just wish I can just feel good for one day and not just hoping. Everyday the same symptoms pops out at a random time, you know, irritability, rapid heartbeat, and shaking hands and legs. It just makes me miserable and frustrated. Even now, I feel like my heart is about jump out at me. I may be hopeful and optimistic but not when I have a giant headache and shaky hands.

What’s worse? The doctor is so damn calm and level-headed. He never look a bit worried when someone tells him some horrifying symptoms. He was like one of those actors from the Twilight movies! Just blank and emotionless, even when I tell a joke, he doesn’t laugh. Can you believe that? Do they train doctor at medical school to not laugh at jokes and worry about patient’s worrisome symptoms?

When I tell him my symptoms, he’s like keep taking your medications, you’ll feel better.

I’m like WHAT???

REALLY????

That’s the best you can do? He makes me feel like the boy who cried wolf! Like I’m just exaggerating about my sufferings. Unfortunately, he the only specialist within a 50-mile radius. So what can I do?

Thanks for listening to my long and tedious babbling and Happy Monday. 🙂

A Sign-off to a Hectic Friday


I am absolutely exhausted today. Continue reading “A Sign-off to a Hectic Friday”

An Eventful Thursday: A record setting week


Whew!!! Finally, a load off my chest.

After getting just three hours of sleep and a protein-rich breakfast (Hot Cocoa and scramble egg sandwich) , Continue reading “An Eventful Thursday: A record setting week”

Took my dear old car for a drive…


Yesterday, I took my dear old car out on a drive. Yes, dear and old. It’s a ’95 Ford Escort that I do NOT ever want to sell. Continue reading “Took my dear old car for a drive…”

Back to Work


It’s Monday and that means it’s back to work! Continue reading “Back to Work”

To buy or not to buy?


I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because this land fiasco is scaring the crap out of me. My mom is having second thoughts again about the little piece of land I mentioned in my post and this time, she’s managed to dragged me into it as well. Continue reading “To buy or not to buy?”

Thank god for the cooler day


This past week has been so crazy! At the beginning of the week, the temperature suddenly jumped from the 60’s to the 80’s and yesterday, 90’s! Continue reading “Thank god for the cooler day”

The light at the end of the tunnel


I just got back from the orthodontist. Continue reading “The light at the end of the tunnel”

Spring Cleaning


Spring Cleaning, that was how I spent my Memorial Day.  I didn’t do it all at once though.  Like those drawers, I haven’t got to them yet, sadly.  All I did was clean the floors which thankfully, I didn’t have to clean the whole thing.

My mom dragged me out of my room and downstairs so I could begin cleaning the living room while my mom moved everything out of the shoe closet.  The floor was seriously dusty, dust bunnies literally blew across the floor.  I guess that’s what happens when you have to turn on the heat six months out of the year, dust accumulates in the vents and ducts and out it goes onto the floor.

DSCF9583
There’s the living room, sparkly clean

We finally turned off the heat tonight, though.  I feel so relieved to finally be able to open my window ’cause it feels so hot and stuffy with everything closed.  And of course, my mom has zero patience when it comes to slow moving work.  She wants me to clean but she wants it fast.  Well, you can only have one of those, either slow and clean or fast and dirty.

I wasn’t even done with the living room when she took over. Then she almost flew through the house, cleaning at the speed of superman, colliding into every furniture I could think of.

DSCF9580
the Swiffer mop, it has been some tragedies during the times my mom used it

My mother used to be a housekeeper when she first came to the U.S. and a housekeeper needs to clean everyday at a record rate. The house she worked for just so happened to be owned by a family of slop. So I can imagine how she became the clean freak as she is today.  I’ll bet if there’s a Olympic event for cleaning, she’d be the first to win it. 🙂

Anyway, she didn’t let me mess with her cleaning but while she went out to change the water, I took the sweet opportunity to snap some pictures. I know, it’s stupid but she tends to make me watch her while she cleans so I can learn how to do in the future.  I would never get it anyways. Cleaning is cleaning.

She finished the job in half of the time it usually takes me although I am still questioning if her efforts is the same as mine.  I opened the window to blow dry the floor while taking another chance to snap more pictures. Then it was done, it was all the cleaning we can manage, I can at least for today.  It is hard to imagine that before my neighbor introduced me to the Swiffer mop, I actually used a cloth, got down on two knees, and scrubbed the floor clean like Cinderella.

Are Drawers for Organizing or Disorganizing?


As I sit here at my desk tapping my nails on the desk trying to decide what to write for my next post, my mom is downstairs loudly rummaging through the kitchen drawers looking for the nail clipper.  “Where’s the nail clipper?” She yells.  Immediately, I know that is my queue to go investigate.  I rolled my eyes and sighed.

I take a few steps out of my room and shout back, “It’s in the first drawer.”

“It’s not there!” I groan and drag my feet down 10 steps down into the kitchen and start rummaging through the drawer myself.

Talk about messy. You can't find anything in there!
The topmost drawer

I look down into the drawer and my eyes popped out like Spike the bulldog.  Didn’t I clean this drawer just a few weeks ago? Or was it a few months ago?

I shuffled through the content looking for the nail clipper and I too cannot find it.  “It’s not here! Maybe it’s in your room.” I yell while wondering, could it have accidentally fallen into the garbage? Both of us are a little forgetful these days what with our work and our GMAT exam’s coming up. One of us could have used the nail clipper and attempted to put it back into the drawer but missed it and landed in the garbage.

As my mom finished rummaging her room, she came back down while I went back up to rummage through her room some more.  The second I arrived on the landing upstairs, she shouts triumphantly, “I found it!”

Whew. Now I can finally go back into my room and write that blog post.  Given what had just happened, a light bulb lit up in my head.  However, after seeing that mess in the most used drawer in the entire house, my head begins to pound. Because this means that within the next two weeks during my mom’s time off from work, I’ll have to spend a day reorganizing the drawers.  Throwing away any expired coupons, no longer usable receipts, and other scraps of paper.

And that is just the tip of the iceberg.  Seeing the picture above is just the topmost drawer.  You don’t even want to see the bottom three drawers but here’s just a little sneak peek at the next drawer down…

This is as far as it can open right now.
This is as far as it can open right now.

It is filled with used/unused plastic bags from grocery shopping for storing meats, vegetables, and wonton/dumplings, potentially important invitations and other unimportant mail, and all kinds of junk I don’t even want to know.  Then there’s the two more drawers which I don’t even want to know what kind of mystery is hidden there.

Really makes you think about the purpose drawers serve, doesn’t it?

Aren’t drawers suppose to provide some sort of organization? To help us find things more easily? So we don’t have to run all over the house looking for the thing we need right at the moment?

Losing Weight


My weight has always been a big issue for me but it wasn’t until the recent years when it became the problem of my life, the rock that’s keeping me from being happy.  Over the past several years, I’ve been trying to get back to the normal weight I’ve had when I first moved to where I am about 5 years ago but the weights just kept piling on.

When I first set foot in the United States 12 years ago, I was 4′ 3″ and weighed 85 pounds.  At the time, I was already considered “fat” by my family and my classmates but to people here, I was considered tiny.  That made me feel a little better because for once, I wasn’t called fat.  However, as the years passed and 6″ later, my weight went up dramatically and it didn’t do me any good.  You see, I was born with small veins  and because of my Albright’s Syndrome, I have to go get my blood checked every 3 months or so.

With the weight gain, so did the difficulty of drawing blood grew.  Last May when I had the surgery in my leg, I was 115 pounds and it took the anesthetist almost 30 minutes to do the IV on me and in the end he still failed.  They gave up and had to use gas to knock me out.  This was just the beginning.  Since then, I gained another 4 or 5 pounds and the last few times I had to do lab work, it took at least 3 technicians before one of them could nail me.

I told my mom about it and she blamed me for not consistently exercising and gain weight.  That made me feel even worse than before I told her.  To be honest, I’ve always wanted to exercise but due to the pain I suffer in my legs and the lack of motivation, I gave up after a week or so.  My mom didn’t motivate me at all.  I mean if she had exercised with me and we did some fun activities together, maybe I wouldn’t get so bored and quit.  No, we both did our own things and before I knew it, I was about 120 pounds and sitting at home all day doing nothing.

About a month, I finally had an epiphany.  I was on my way to my doctor’s appointment, it was 40 degrees out and I had to walk two blocks or so from the bus stop to the clinic.  When I finally arrived at the clinic and climbed the two flights of stairs to the doctor’s office, I not only was sweating and breathless but my heart was beating like a helicopter.  By the time the nurse called me into the little room, my heart was still pounding and she put that little clip on my finger to check my pulse.  It was still 100.

I leaned back in my chair and thought, damn what’s happened to me? I was never so out of breath climbing stairs before.  Then I knew that it was time for me to commit to exercising again, to slip back into the routine I had two years ago when my mom made me go exercising everyday.

But how?

I need motivation, a reason to keep going. Then I thought of one, my future.  I need to be in better shape in order to find a job, work, and even start a family, maybe.  I also thought of writing because writing was the first long-term commitment for me.  So I thought if I can keep writing for this long, why not commit to going to the gym for just as long?

Since the end of March, I’ve been committed to go to gym five days a week while taking a break on the weekends and let my muscles rest.  Since then, I’ve successfully gone back to the weight I was over a year ago and I’m still on my way to lose more.  Now, I’m not only feeling better than before but by exercising, I feel like I’m thinking more clearly and doing better in school.

Day #3: No work Government Shutdown Stinks!


It is the third day that my mom stayed home this week.   Continue reading “Day #3: No work Government Shutdown Stinks!”

A Wild Wild January


…a gigantic snow dog

It is finally February, the weather in January this year had been so wild.  As I was watching the weather report last night on the news, I couldn’t help thinking that I actually experienced that.  I mean last year was so warm and dry that we experienced drought in the summer.  Last month alone, there were 20 something days of snow, 30 days of haze and fog, and 1 day of freezing rain.  Not to mention the subzero temperatures that are rarely faced in Salt Lake City.  Worst of all, I had to take 2 weather days off school, which I’d never had to do.

Still, as I saw the snow pack total on the news last night, I just couldn’t believe when the weatherman announced that the snowpack total is only 84%  for the month of January.  I was like, 84%, the snow piles are as tall as a person outside my home.  Someone in my neighborhood even had enough snow to make a large cute snow dog.

This picture was taken early January, trust me, there is a whole lot more now.  Even this week alone, we received about half of foot of snow.  Well, it’s been snowing nonstop from Sunday to Wednesday, what do you expect.  Yesterday was started to get better and hopefully it will continue this way.  I am so tired from shoveling all this snow that I am ready for it to end and hope that there won’t be another freezing rain storm soon.

This winter had been a long one and I am looking forward for it to end.  By the way, did anyone catch the news about Ground Hog Day on Saturday?  How soon will Spring Be here?