Tag: Lookback

Tears, can’t live without them, just have to live with them

Published on by Yinglan5 Comments

Daily Prompt: We cry for lots of reasons: sadness, pain, fear . . . and happiness. When was the last time you shed tears of joy?

Hmm, that’s interesting. I don’t remember crying for joy, ever or maybe I just haven’t yet.

Do people do that? Crying for joy just seemed a little funny to me because why would happiness provoke tears? Wouldn’t it provoke laughter and smiles?

Ah, I get it. It’s not the kind of joy that makes a person smile but the kind of joy that causes one to feel surprised, glad, or even relieved like right after a mother gives birth. I’ve seen it in the news and movies. Or when someone realizes that person’s been there for him/her all along and is grateful. I guess I just never had that kind of thing happen to me yet but I’m not giving my hopes up. Someday.

I remember exactly the last time I cried. It was tears of anger. It was at the end of September right after my aunt back my mom’s car into a pole. Then the very next day, my mom blamed me for it. My fists and teeth clenched and tears fell from my face while fire looked like it’s about to flare from my nostrils. There was this pull inside me rendering my ability to speak or fight back.

It’s not my fault, I wanted to say but couldn’t. Ultimately, I just had to ignore every hurtful my mom said that day.

The result of that event? 

It set off a domino effect and it went on for almost two weeks that ultimately ended with my mom buying two airplane tickets for my aunt and cousin to go home at once but fate intervened. And they’re now staying until February.

It was strange for me to cry because I don’t usually cry when I’m angry. Actually, I can say I’ve grown stony and hard ever since I’ve been living with my mom alone that it’s hard for me to cry any sort of tears. But tears are meant for cleansing, so I guess everyone has to shed some tears once in a while whether it’s for joy, sadness, or anger. Tears are tears and everyone needs them.

I Wish the New Year Would Arrive Already!

Published on by Yinglan11 Comments

For some reason, I am feeling very eager to have the new year come already but at the same time, I am Continue reading “I Wish the New Year Would Arrive Already!” →

2014 in review

Published on by Yinglan4 Comments

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 6,700 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

A Grown Up Trapped in a tiny body

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I just spent the entire morning shoveling ankle deep snow on my driveway and the incredibly long sidewalk. Oddly though, the only places aching are my shoulders and neck. At the moment, I do not want to move from this couch.

My mom said I needed the exercise and for once, I couldn’t be more agreeing with her. This entire holiday season had been nothing but eat eat and eat. Honestly, I can’t wait for this to end. The biggest consequence? I haven’t been able to get some exercise and I gained 2 pounds from all that hot pot. That’s the down side to eating hot pot, you keep putting food into the pot and eating more, never knowing when you’re full.

I wasn’t really going to write today. I’ve been obsessed over reading the Night World series. I began reading book one yesterday and finished it this morning. Once I started reading, I couldn’t stop. Besides, today’s prompt feel kind of repeated, oh look, it is. It’s a recycled prompt and what’s point in writing when there are already 130+ posts waiting to be read?

But what the heck, I’ll answer it anyway. I can’t remember when was the first time I felt really grown up. I guess I’ve always felt like I was a grown-up trapped in a child’s body. I’ve never partied nor have I taken advantage when my mom left me in charge of all her credit cards and money when she went off to basic training. I responsibly spent and paid the bills. I think that’s the one thing she’s ever admitted to be proud of.

On the other hand, I can say my aunt’s the opposite. She’s like a child stuck in a grown-up body. Over the years, I feel like she’s becoming more and more child-like.

I’ve written a post about a similar topic about grown-ups, you can read it by clicking here.

One is Enough, Two is Too Much

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The crappy house with the stairs

I am frustrated and that frustration is growing by the day.

Last year, my mother purchased two additional houses. She planned to use those houses for investment and rental. To be honest, both of those houses are a pain in the neck. After closing on the first house last April, we spent almost the entire month cleaning, repairing, and re-painting the wall.

When I say “we”, I mean my mother and her friend. Meanwhile, I am not allowed to touch or do anything, I am to just stand there and watch. I hated it. I mean, what am I doing there? I could be doing so much more at home.

Thank god that house rented out quickly and the tenant had been stable. A few months later, my mother closed on a house at the end of our street. This house is a bucketful of problems.

First it was the furnace, then the AC, and then at the beginning of this year, we found out there’s no return vent in the basement, making the basement of the house freezing cold.

It’s a crappy house. Well, what do you expect when the first owner of the house was a know-it-all handyman?

Anyway, in the latter part of 2013, after yet spending a few weeks cleaning up the place, we rented the house to a very nice family who was waiting for their house to be built in another city.

They moved out early January of this year. Thank goodness, the wife of the tenant was a clean freak and kept the house sparkly clean. We didn’t have to do much and within 2 weeks, the house was again rented to another family from Texas and that’s when the problems began. They built a bathroom in the basement without consulting us. The bathroom turned out awry and weird. Don’t get me started.

That family moved out suddenly before Thanksgiving. It was ridiculous. Not only they broke the contract but the house was a mess!

My aunt and cousin spent the afternoons in the days followed at the house cleaning and picking up dog poop in the backyard. It’s disgusting and I would never ever do it. I couldn’t be more grateful to have them here.

A few days after the advertisement for our rental house went online, two families came and browse. One family was so so eager to move in that they didn’t even cared if the carpet was cleaned. I wasn’t having a good vibe about this candidate. They seemed nice and all but there’s something off.

I told my mother to go with the other family, but she didn’t listen. I was completely right, by the way. The “bad vibe” tenant has an excellent credit score but he didn’t even had the money to pay the first month rent and deposit.

My mother got scared and turn them down. That left the “good vibe” tenant but unfortunately, they grew impatient waiting for our response and had already found another house. That house has been empty for past month. My mother’s incessantly worried about the furnace failing and constantly nudging me to go check.

Yeah, like I know anything about the mechanics of a furnace.

In the recent day, it’s become my dread to go into that house. It’s not haunted or anything. There are just too many stairs and the stairs are thickly carpeted. Did you know it takes more strength going up a flight of carpeted stairs than any other kind of staircase?

My consensus: that house is horribly designed and I would never live in it.

I still don’t understand why my mother had to purchase that house. Why couldn’t she be happy with just one rental home? This other house is going down the drain if we don’t get some tenants soon, I tell ya.

When she bought the house, she says my aunt wanted it but I highly doubt it. For all I know, my aunt could’ve said, “随便吧!” or “Anything’s fine.”

A Wrap-up of 2014: Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

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A few months ago, SUEJU TAKESHI nominated me for the Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award but as usual, my procrastination prevails. But since I am on my winter break, I thought what better time to publish this than before the new year. I like to give a big round of thanks again to SUEJU TAKESHI for nominating this blog for this awesome award. Continue reading “A Wrap-up of 2014: Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award” →

My Tight Little Corner

Published on by Yinglan4 Comments

Something has happened in my neck of the woods. I can’t figure out what but it’s making me feel singled-out, like I’m being forced into a tight little corner of my own. It’s like my spoken words are not being understood and there’s no one ’round here to clarify my words for me.

I’ve been searching and wondering far and wide and I have arrived with these three explanations:

  • Language barrier
    • I know, we all speak the same language here. But they seem to forget that I just know to speak everyday language, slang. My education level for this language is only up to the 4th grade. Still, they talk to me like I graduated college there, saying politically related college-level term that I probably will never understand.
    • And if I say the wrong thing, they’d just burst out laughing and it’s not just in the moment, they laugh for days and it’s really frustrating sometimes. Like yesterday, I accidentally mispronounced the word for Mount Everest and they laughed and laughed, making fun of me, making me feel like an idiot. Yes, I know I said the wrong thing but don’t forget I never went past the 4th grade.
  • Ethnic culture differences
    • Yes, there is a tiny or huge ethnic culture difference here, depends on one’s perspective. For example, my aunt doesn’t like to use the dryer. She hang wet clothes in the laundry. I hate that. When the clothes dry, it becomes cold, stiff, and wrinkly. It’s like wearing cardboard.
  • Too many personalities
    • Yes, I understand everyone has their own personality, no people are the same but my aunt’s personality is driving me nuts. She is so childish sometimes with her silly clothes. Yesterday, when it was snowing, she didn’t want her hair to get wet, so she wore a husky hat. I don’t mean a hat that looked like husky fur, I mean a hat that was an actual husky (dog) head. It’s the stupidest hat I’ve ever seen.
    • Often times, she’s been sitting at the kitchen counter watch funny babies video on her ipad. If you like watching babies so much, why don’t you have one of your own?

Meanwhile, my mother is not helping with my situation, she laughs along and her teasing had been increasingly irritating. I wish I can just tell them that but everybody in this house feels super intimidating and it’s making me feel frightened.

Just two more months, I will tell myself from now on. Just two more months and they’ll be gone.

Resolutions

Published on by Yinglan2 Comments

I spent yesterday celebrating my yet another year in the U.S. I arrived in the U.S. on December 21, 2001 and so yesterday was a special day. I began a post yesterday morning but my mom insisted on heading out. She wanted to show my cousin how far far away the community college really is and that him wanting to go to the community or any colleges and universities in the state of Utah is a naive and unreasonable plan.

To be honest, the community college isn’t that far. It’s a 45-minutes drive and the route is incredibly slow and boring but isn’t far. But if you want the fun 😉 or long route which my cousin has to do since he can’t drive, it can take anywhere from 90 minutes to 2 hours. Anyway, I tagged along in case she got lost.

We went home after going one round about the college and lunch at Costco and then I spent the afternoon watching movies and shows on the TV and writing a post just slipped my mind. Besides, I was having a hard time writing it since I had no clue what the prompt meant. Today, however, I have a slight idea.

I don’t do New Year resolutions, I used to but not anymore. I don’t see the point in making one since every year, I have the same two goals for myself and every year, it gets harder and harder to achieve those goals especially this year. So why make it?

The best part about this year has been getting this job but with my mom rushing me to complete the job day after day, I haven’t been able to keep up with my health. I’ve rarely seen my doctor or gone to the gym. It’s always just school and work.

Another reason for not going to the doctors was because of my insurance. When the insurance got switched to a new company at the beginning of this year, it started having problems. Most of the time, it wasn’t paying anything for me and I had to spend countless hours calling, trying to resolve dumb problems. Even a month ago, I was trying to resolve something that happened in June. I’ve already had enough to do. So you can see why I stopped going to the doctors.

I promise myself that once we’re in 2015, I will go to the doctors as well as the gym regularly. I’m not sure how well I will be able to keep the gym part going but the doctors, definitely, since I’m paying for my own insurance now.

Also when my mom’s away at training during March and April, I will try a self-controlled diet. Oh, and once January comes, I need to go see a doctor or a cardiologist or whatever to get my heart checked out. Let’s just say I haven’t been kind to my heart and it’s a little angry.

Other than that, all I wish for is to just get through the year as safe as possible. No casualty. No jitters and ignore my mom’s attempt to creep me out about the year of the goat thing. Apparently, she believes that if the current year is your Chinese Zodiac year, i.e. I was born in the year of the goat and next year is the year of the goat, bad luck will come to my door. I won’t say more otherwise I’d be jinxing it. Just wish me good luck in 2015, no more accidents or terrible news of any sort.

Anyway, my aunt wants me to take them downtown today. So hopefully the storm will stop soon and the sky will lighten up just a teeny bit.

Happy Winter Solstice everyone!!!

Here’s a beautiful painting to admire.

The Sun Stands Still by Becky Vigor, 2010.
The Sun Stands Still by Becky Vigor, 2010.

Christmas Trees, Presents Delivery, Time Off, That’s the Holidays

Published on by Yinglan6 Comments

That's just about the only thing festive in the entire house.
That’s just about the only thing festive in the entire house.

I have been trying to write a post all day today but for some reason, I haven’t been able to finish it. This morning, I woke up, washed my bedding (finally!), and had breakfast. Then I went back up to my room, trying to write something about the prompt today but somehow, I was feeling rather frustrated and uninspired. I mean, it’s not that difficult of a prompt but at the present moment, this is my third and possibly fourth attempt at writing anything today.

My first attempt was kind of awful, talked about how I’ve grown to somewhat fear the end-of-year holidays. I’m not sure if anyone wants to hear anything that negative today.

My second attempt was a list of my love and hate for the holidays. That list was going successfully until my mother interrupted and said she wanted to go out. I’ve been stuck at home all day and thought that was the culprit for my lack of inspiration. So I accepted and we all went out. First, it was to the air force base to pick up my mother’s medicine as well as to get some groceries but then it turned into a 30-mile road trip to Morgan, Utah, a rural little town just beyond the canyons.

Okay, this is completely misleading, it did NOT look like this!!!

It’s a beautiful town, quiet and serene. The moment we exited I-84, my mother saw the sign to East Canyon State Park and immediately wanted to go similar to a child wanting candy. Am I the only mature one in the family?

The sign said the park is just 12 miles north. So northward we went. The road was narrow and twisty like riding a slow boring endless roller coaster. My mother’s patience was running short and after 5 minutes or so, she began to wonder if we’ve gotten lost. No, we haven’t. I began to doubt too  but on the other hand, I was sure we were on the right route.

Okay, is this it? Is this what I’ll see if my mother kept going?

When we reached mile post 7, my mother decided to turn back. “I’ll bet you anything that the park is when you reach mile post 12.” I told her but as usual, no one listened to me. So after 40 minutes or so, we’re home.

To be honest, I enjoyed Morgan, it seemed like one of those places I like to see myself living when I finally move out of my mother’s house. It’s quiet, quaint, and just rural enough for my taste. Best of all, there are no planes!

Anyway, I’ve returned to my computer to try to compose my daily post again. When I finally got two paragraphs done, I was interrupted again! Now what?!

I went downstairs to find out what my mother had wanted. Apparently, she suddenly want my aunt and I to play Santa and deliver all the presents to all neighbors, ugh, one of the things I dislike about the holidays. Every year, it’s always me who had to deliver presents and never get anything as nice or anything at all in return.

I just came back a few minutes ago, delivering presents to one of our tenants. My face as well as my hands and legs are still freezing cold and I’m feeling a tad dizzy. I need to go see a doctor soon to make sure I’m still as healthy as I used to be. But for the rest of today, I have no wish to go anywhere else. I wish to rest a bit in my room while waiting for a little inspiration to struck.  Until then, I think I’ll leave you with the list from my second attempt at the prompt.

Things I love about the end-of-year holidays:

  1. Time off! Oh yes, definitely the time off. For one thing, no homework and no school. The thing I don’t like though, grades. The end of semester grades are coming out and that is my fear for every year. Thankfully, I’ve done alright this year. 
  2. Pies, pies, pies! The only time of the year when my mother buys pies. I’m a pie lover and so that’s good. 
  3. Family gatherings! I used to love this back before my mother and I left Texas. 

Things I dislike about the holidays:

  1. Lack of things to watch on TV. All my favorite shows wrap up with its mid-season finales and won’t be back until mid-January. What does that leave me to watch? Not much but reruns and Christmas specials.
  2. The holiday music on the radio. They all sound the same, just sang in a different way. The jingling, joyful-themed, as well as some of the sad-themed songs just feels a tad annoying.
  3. The cold winter and the inability to go out and not get a red nose. This year is especially worse. There’s no snow and it’s incredibly cold. It’s like being stuck in an ice chest. 
Orange

Pumpkin Pies for Lazy Cooks

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I made a pumpkin pie yesterday! It’s the first one I made in 4 years. Read about it to see how it turned out! It’s beautiful, isn’t it?

Yinglan's avatarCrazy About Food

So on Tuesday night, my mother came home announcing her office at work was having some kind of get-together on Thursday and they had asked her to bring something. She didn’t know what until she got home. A pie, she insisted. But where can she get it? She didn’t want to drive 20 miles to Costco. So instead, she requested me to make one.

Fine, one Pumpkin Pie pronto.

We took a trip to the commissary up at the Air Force Base and gathered the ingredients.

  • 1 Large Can of Pumpkin Pie Filling
  • 1 5 fl-oz of evaporated milk
  • 1 pie shell
  • Along with that, I needed 2-eggs.

DSCF9596

DSCF9597

Yesterday, during my small break in between work, I went into chef mode and worked on the pie. The last pumpkin pie I made was more than four years ago, Thanksgiving eve, 2010, when a blizzard hit and I was snowed-in from school. My attempt…

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Can I relax now?

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Well, this week has been fun. Not really. Monday was my first day off for my Winter Break and I mean real day off where I have the house to myself for a few hours. I thought I’d write a lot this week, perhaps work on story I noted on my other blog but unfortunately, my week was ruin by my project manager and her stupid concern email. After working for such a long period, my creativity meter’s level fell to zero.

Thankfully, I just finished my work, just a few minutes ago actually. Hmm, I wonder if I can finally let out a breath and enjoy my holidays. In the last 3 days, I have worked 20.5 hours and translated over 5000 words. I woke up at 4 am yesterday and 6 am today to complete this annoying and boring monthly deadline. Yesterday, I’ve check and found out next month, there’s more. The deadline? January 12, the first day of school. I do hope I can complete it.

Anyway, now that I’ve done this month’s work and ran out of “me” time, I think I’d spend the last measly hours today, aside from going to the orthodontist and do the impression for my retainer, I think I’m going to blast the music on my stereo and sing. Ha ha, maybe but I think I have some other matters to take care of first:

  1. My AAA card will expire, got to call and take my mother’s name off it and pay the bill.
  2. I received a gift card two months and I think there’s a problem with it, so got to call and wait and wait.

After that, I hope people would chill for a while and cool it with the deadlines.

Art and Coil Pots: Major Disappointments

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Object of My Dejection, huh? Hmm, I don’t think I have any. Oh, art maybe?

I suck at art. I can’t draw anything, well, except straight lines with a ruler or circle with with a compass. The thing is in middle school, we didn’t get to choose what class we take and so aside from the fundamental classes (math, language arts, PE, science, and history), I was randomly placed in other classes.

My favorite and least favorite class was Art. It was my favorite because I didn’t need to take anything out of my backpack and I didn’t have homework in that class. It was my least favorite class because I sucked at it.

The most disappointing thing I made in that class? Two super-sized coil pots.

I found this on google and it looks like it belongs to another wordpress site. I give you full credit for the picture, whoever you are. Great job on the coil pot! It looks like mine but yours looks way better! 🙂

It’s disappointing because of all the things to make with clay, I can only make coil pots and very ugly ones too. When I made the first one, I thought to make a coil cylinder to hold my pens and pencils on my desk. Instead, I made an odd oval shape coil pot that can hold nothing. Ugh, it was heavy, ugly, and horribly glazed. Still though, I remained somewhat proud of what I achieved.

A few weeks later, I was given a second chance. In the least to say, I failed again. This time, it was the same thing except it’s purple instead of light blue. These two were in such odd shapes that it couldn’t hold anything.

When I moved from California to Texas, my mom forcibly threw it away along with my dearest blanket. So unfortunately, no pictures of mine. I think I was young at the time, maybe too young and un-creative to create any sort of masterpiece. I think if I’m given another chance now, I believe I can do better.

*****

Oh, I can’t believe how early I got up this morning, 4 am. I’ve been working since then and I’m just getting a break now. Anyway, I have to get back to work if I supposedly want to finish this today.

Why A Simple Life…

Published on by Yinglan8 Comments

I was updating the About page and noticed it’s been about six months since I changed my blog name and I never bothered to introduce how it came to be A Simple Life. 

So since I’m done for the semester and have few short days alone by myself, I thought I’d take the chance and do this late introduction to my blog. Oh and you’ll notice I’m playing with colors here, that’s how bored I am. 😀

F.Y.I, the underlines are links to ancient ancient posts, I thought I’d let you re-live them as part of looking back this year.

My blog is call A Simple Life. I changed it recently from My Simple Life after realizing I don’t have a simple life anymore. So now, this is A Simple Life and it reads in the heading, Tales and Life of a Simple Girl.

That tells a lot, doesn’t it?  This blog is a tiny bit more stable now than a year ago. You see, this started out a nameless blog and then I went, “Oh, heck with it.” and named it The Random Blog. 

Then I forgot about it, from February to September. How do you forget you have a blog? Shrug. I don’t know.

How did I come back?

I got an email one day last September saying someone likes my post. It was this post like that somehow inspired me to come back. After I came back, I didn’t know what to write at first but then I working three jobs and my boss was driving me insane. Also I had no one to complain to. So I wrote this post and several others.

Quickly, I took out the in the title and this became just Random Blog. It didn’t attract a lot of attention though 😦 no matter how many post I published. Hmm, I wonder why.

I didn’t find out until about six months ago. I was tagging too happily. 🙂

I still didn’t like the name though because I thought it was too misleading, perhaps make the readers think maybe I just re-blog other people’s material or maybe just post some random stuff. Nah uh, that’s not me. I’m a storyteller.

So on that hot summer night, while I was lying on my warm bed, kept awake by the F-16s and the heat, out of nowhere, a name hit me, Diary of An Optimist. For that short month (June and July), this blog was known as the Diary of An Optimist. I thought I liked it but then I was like, “Nah, too thought provoking.” I’m not into that.

So I changed it again. I kept thinking and thinking. What to name this darn blog? You see, I’m terrible with naming things.

What is the thing that simply described me and what this blog entailed. Life! That’s one word to put it. It’s about real life, my life, full of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, troubles and chaos. That still doesn’t give me a name though.

Simple! My aunt and cousin were coming soon and once they arrived, I would have to cook for them, teach them, help them. Even the months before they came, it was becoming complicated, with me stuck at home daily waiting for the man to come everyday to work on the basement. Meanwhile, my mother’s temper flared every time she spoke of their arrival. Not to mention my life will no longer be two-some but four-some. I just wish that life could be as simple as what I have now.

That was it! Simple Life that’s the name for the blog!

A Simple Life is about my life as it is. I am a person who strive for simplicity in life. I’m sure I’m not the only one. As you can see, everything about the design of this blog promotes peace, tranquility, and simplicity.

I’ve always wanted to become a graphic or web designer, either one, no preference there. So making my desktop backgrounds look good as well as playing with web design is kind of like my second hobby aside from jigsaw puzzles.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this how my blog came to be post and I do hope that I will still make it a habit to blog everyday in 2015. That’ll be my goal and hopefully, I’ll have some juicy stories to share. Oh and please follow, follow, follow!

Gotta get back to work. So ciao for now. 😉

Proving my Generosity

Published on by Yinglan6 Comments

I thought about doing the daily prompt today. Then again, I’m only in my early 20’s. And because of the wonderful doctors who somewhat cured me of my genetic disorder, okay, not cured specifically, more like prolonged my livelihood past my 30’s. My point, it’s a little too soon for me to have a bucket list let alone an anti-bucket list, if I even decide to have one.

Anyway, I got into a small argument with my mother on Friday because my aunt was whining her clothes got ruined from painting the rental home. My mom said it’s because I wouldn’t spare some of my clothes. Well, I’m sorry but I never said to buy this house, my aunt did and I’ve got plenty of clothes ruined from painting houses. Does it mean now that she doesn’t get to sacrifice some of her clothes?

I lost my temper and screamed at my mom because she kept calling me selfish. What made me lose my temper wasn’t what she called me but how she said it, in that mocking tone, like a tease. I don’t like to be teased or mocked.

I kept telling her I don’t have any clothes to spare. It’s not because I’m sentimental and selfish either, it’s because I really don’t have any. Most of my clothes are brand-new, purchased in the recent months, less than a year old. Besides, most of my clothes are short-sleeved and twice as big as what my aunt owned and my aunt’s like a Quaker, I’ve never seen her in anything less than a long-sleeves turtleneck, long pants, and childishly colorful socks.

So my aunt wore one of her turtlenecks and jeans that day and she and my mom spent the whole day Friday painting the rental home while I spent the day running around town on my own. Her turtleneck and jeans were slightly ruined (splattered by paint) but she was reluctant to throw it away unlike my mother. So it’s currently soaking in a large bucket of water downstairs in the laundry room.

It was completely wrong of my mom to call me selfish. I am not a selfish person, if anything, I’m unselfish. If I’m selfish, I would’ve kept all my food to myself instead of sharing it with everyone else. I wouldn’t have allowed anyone else to watch TV or use my internet.

So I spent the entire day yesterday proving to everybody I’m not selfish. We went out for dim sum and morning tea for the first time in months and I paid for it with my own money. I even threw in a generous 20% tip because we occupied the table for so long.

Then when we went to the Chinese supermarket and bought enough grocery to hopefully last more than a week this time, I once again paid for it out of my own money. I felt kind of gut-wrenching when I swiped that card because I’ve never spent more than $100 a day except when I get my course material for school and tuition payment due date. But it proved my point. I am not a selfish person. End of discussion.

Sometimes, it’s best to hide

Published on by Yinglan9 Comments

Happy Friday!

Today is the first day of my winter break but I woke up this morning by this pain in my right arm. I hope the nerve in neck aren’t swollen again and is not now affecting my arm.

Anyway, I took a look at the prompt this morning, more question and answer. Will there be a prompt that actually inspires me to write a story? Of course, lying is not okay, it’s never okay! Otherwise, why would anyone teach us that? On the other hand, you can’t expect a person to tell the truth all the time either. The truth hurts sometimes, you know.

Sometimes, it’s better to just tell neither, to simply to just hide the truth.

I remember the start of junior year into my engineering program. My grades from the semester before were terrible. I couldn’t understand why except that numbers just aren’t on my side. The entire semester, I couldn’t find a single proper answer to a single problem. I followed the exact same procedure as taught by the instructor and still couldn’t get the right answer.

About two weeks after receiving my grades, I received an email from my adviser saying that I’ve been down-graded from major status to pre-engineering status. That was terrible news for me, for anyone, in this matter.

To be back at pre-engineering status meant I couldn’t be enrolled into the already registered classes. It meant the only class I could be enrolled was the one I’m retaking. Worst of all, it meant I only had one course.

Quickly, thoughts swirled in my head. How am I going to explain to mom when she sees the tuition bill and only sees one course register? What am I supposed to tell her? That my grades were so terrible that I’ve been kicked out of the program?

My head and chest pounded as I got up and paced back and forth in my room, trying to come up with a solution. Then I decided. I’m going to fix this myself and I’m going to tell mom nothing. She will know nothing of this. My adviser and I communicated back and forth through email.

For two days, my hands shook and I hardly had any appetite. I felt bad about hiding this from her. In my freshman year, I failed Chemistry. I hated this, I’ve never failed anything in my life. When mom discovered, she was angry but at the time, she didn’t have as bad of a temper as she has now. But she told me, “If you don’t tell me, I can’t help you.” So maybe she helped me then, she could help me now.

But another part of me thought otherwise. So I kept it from her. Two days later, a solution came, it was like god-sent. I discovered in my degree audit report that they never took the “E” I got from Chemistry away and thus lowering my GPA to below requirement. I emailed my adviser and told her what I’ve found and asked her to have that removed since I’ve already taken that class. I was back on track.

The lie in that little story was that I pretended to be fine when everything was fine. I should have told my mother the truth instead of hiding it from her. On the other hand, I wanted to prove to her that I can handle things on my own, that I don’t need her guidance on every misstep I happen upon this crazy journey call life. I guess I’ve proven that here.

Everything I want…

Published on by Yinglan3 Comments

You’re given unlimited funds to plan one day full of any and all luxuries you normally can’t afford. Tell us about your extravagant day with as much detail as possible.

Oh boy, will these funds just magically disappear the next day? Because I’m not a spend it all now kind of person. I would stash some of the unlimited funds for later. But with unlimited fund for a day, I can buy and get a lot of the things I’ve been wanting but unable to get.

  1. I can buy myself a brand new car instead of keep using my mother’s. Oh, it’s not just any new car, a new hybrid car. Gas is still expensive and I like one that can get me a better mileage but at the same time, I don’t want a car that’s light as air. So a $50,000 hybrid, it is. 🙂
  2. My mother’s dream vacation home by the lake. I’m such a people pleaser.
    Wouldn’t it be nice to sit with a coffee and stare at that view?

    A few months ago, after my mother’s fallout from acquiring the piece of land she wanted, she went online and began searching for houses by Utah Lake. Our jaws fell at each of them. I mean the backyard is a freakin’ beach. Unfortunately they also come with a ridiculous price tag. Worry not, mother, for today only, I have unlimited fund and I will make you the owner of one of those beautiful houses.

  3. Update the kitchens and bathrooms of all three houses as well as fix whatever needs to be fixed. I am so darn tired of hearing my mother complain whenever something breaks or doesn’t work right in one of the three houses especially the one I’m living in now. Also, everything in all three houses just feel so ugly and out-dated. So, new floors, new counter-tops, new tubs, toilets, sinks, everything.
  4. I go shop for a piece of land for myself. That’s where the stash comes in. I would wait and build myself a cozy little house.
  5. The final thing is always the small thing. I would:
    1. get myself a brand-new wardrobe. New clothes, shoes, everything
    2. buy a 60-inch TV for my mother
    3. pay-off my student loan debt
    4. get myself new tablet? Maybe one of those Surface Pros. Oh and a really nice camera so I can finally take beautiful scenic pictures.

There are so much I can do that after five things, I can’t think of anymore I want to do but these would be the first. But let’s be real, the only way this day would come, it would be in my dreams.

Have to go study. See ya!

Pain in the Neck

Published on by Yinglan4 Comments

Today’s prompt is very odd and specific, Today, write a post about the topic of your choice — using only one-syllable words.

I don’t know why but my aunt has been a pain in the neck of late. I find her now and then to speak her thoughts out loud. Like how she comes up the stairs and says, “I need to pee.”

I’m like, I don’t need to know that. Just go!

Then each day, at ’round 2, she will ask me, “What will we eat?”

I’ll be like, “We just ate lunch and you want to know the next meal?” At least let me get some work done first, then I’ll think ’bout food.

That’s the laugh! Shoulders go up and down

The thing that drives me nuts is the way she laughs. I don’t know how to tell you. If you look to your left, it says a lot. It’s quite weird and now and then, I get mad ’cause come on, I have a lot of work here and what you do does not help me.

The third and last thing is that she speaks so darn loud. When I sit next to herand she turns to me to talk, I feel like she talks through a bull-horn. Now and then, I’d tell her, “please bring your voice down.” Still, she keeps her voice loud as a mic. Ugh, I feel like I will go deaf if she goes on this loud.

I took my first final exam to-day and got 100%. Yay! One down, three to go. 🙂

Something I learned about blogging…

Published on by YinglanLeave a comment

Today’s prompt says, What’s the most important (or interesting, or unexpected) thing about blogging you know today that you didn’t know a month ago?

This last month, I hardly been following up with blogs. The most I did was writing. Sometimes, if I had time, I would read a few but I spent most of my time doing homework and preparing tests. I probably did a little more yesterday.

Let’s see, I thought it was time for a change so I changed the background to a lovely winter sunrise for this blog. On my other blog, Hidden Stars, I did a complete theme change since I needed some relaxation after the exam yesterday and could only sit rigidly anyway. Apparently the nerves in my shoulder and neck is swollen and that’s why it hurt so much.

I have my four finals this week and then I’d be free!

A quick note to readers that are are also following Hidden Stars, you might have noticed I haven’t been posting the serial fiction in about two weeks. I’ve been procrastinating. I’ll be posting after finals.

So you see, I hardly learned anything new about blogging in the past month. I think if you compared it with the beginning of the year, there might be more to write about.

As you’ve read in my post, Longest Streak in Blogging, this blog was started last February. I didn’t know how to tag my posts then. Let’s just say, at the beginning, I was under-tagging and then I was excessively tagging, and then six months ago, I was finally getting it (15 or less tags per post).

Something important I learned in the recent months, in order to get more eyeballs and likes on your blog, you need to:

  • Write based on a prompt
  • Have lots and lots of loyal followers, or
  • You .need to publish something that everybody wants to read

Let’s just say after I participated in daily prompt on this blog as well as various flash-fiction challenges on Hidden Stars, I’ve seen my viewership double, maybe triple or quadruple in the past few months even if the new follower per post has decreased.

The increase in viewership was what kept me going this past year. That’s the most important thing I learned, the support from readers will keep me from saying goodbye to this blog in 2014. Bring it on, 2015!

Gut Instinct

Published on by Yinglan3 Comments

My neck is feeling a bit better today, at least I can turn it left and right even if still hurts. Thanks to my mother for rubbing this Swiss ointment on me last night. It works better than Bengay and electromagnetic therapy!

Anyway, there are only two areas where I am confident about my gut feeling, cooking and driving. Because well, in cooking, most of the time, I don’t have recipe for me to follow. The amount of salt, sugar, and seasoning to put to marinade something, it’s all based on feel and instinct. 

And driving, well, I need my instinct to tell me sometimes when it’s safe to change lanes or when it’s safe to turn. Like yesterday, I couldn’t turn my head and I had to change lanes a couple times. I could only rely on my instincts that it was safe to make the maneuver and maybe getting a small painful peek into the passenger side mirror. But sometimes, even my instinct is wrong. Otherwise, I would not have that accident in 2010.

That’s why I don’t usually rely on my instinct because it’s wrong. Like when my instinct told me to skip the second class on that unfortunate snowy day despite the weather wasn’t that horrible outside, well, my instinct got me in a crash. How is that for making the right call?

Although it wasn’t my fault but the car is still slightly damaged and who knows what it’ll do to my mother’s insurance premium.

At the moment, I’m fighting with my instinct on something, health insurance. I’m shopping for health insurance right now and all these words, deductible, out of pocket, coinsurance, just sounds like gibberish to me. My gut is telling me the lower the deductible, the better but honestly, I don’t know whether to go high or get the minimum.

Any suggestions???

Surviving in a Bad Neighborhood

Published on by Yinglan2 Comments

I cannot sleep. My entire right side is in a lot of pain. So here I am, sitting rigidly at my computer at 7 in the morning thinking about what kind of story I’ll share for today’s prompt.

Honestly, I have never heard of this famous song about New York but these lyrics sure take me back. During my first years in the U.S, I lived in a very bad neighborhood in the suburbs of Los Angeles. Of course, now this neighborhood is a little better. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. But still, I think if you can make it in this town, you can make it anywhere because anywhere will just seems heavenly. 

By now, you might have hear me talk about my middle school days as the happiest time of my life but those days were also filled with adventures and failures.

Like failure to catch the thieves that stole my pencils and erasers. Well, those are small things but what my wallet, stolen right out of my backpack on the school bus that afternoon. Or my keys, stolen from the depth of my backpack while I was walking home from school with my friend. No wait, that was one of those victorious times. Thank god my friend noticed it and saw who did it.

The moment I noticed my keys were missing and saw the bully dangled it not far ahead from me, I sprinted, faster and faster, like my life depended on it. Unfortunately she was quicker. I was never a fast runner.

So I ran to the next best thing, the vice-principal. I told him about my stolen keys and who had it. He didn’t even have to go back to the office to check for the bully’s address. He knew exactly where to go. I got in the back seat and he got in the front and we sped to the girl’s house like cops.

When we got there, the girl was actually standing outside dangling my keys as if she was waiting for us. The moment she saw the vice-principal get out of the car, her victorious grin faded.

“Hand over the keys, Daisy.” I heard him say and willingly, she surrendered the keys to the vice-principal.

That was easy, right? Unfortunately, like all stories, there’s a twist. The villain is never satisfy when they loses and when they’re unsatisfied, they seek vengeance .

Several weeks after the keys incident as well as the hair-touching incident (another time), both bullies sought revenge against me. My mother couldn’t come to pick me up from school one day and she didn’t want me walking home alone. So she told me to take the school bus.

I didn’t realize until I sat down that the two bullies were sitting behind me. I quickly wrapped my arms around my backpack and hugged it against my chest to prevent anymore thievery. Just before I got off, I made sure that every zipper was closed before I swung my backpack over my shoulder.

The next day at school, I searched my entire backpack for my library card. My wallet was missing and I knew exactly who had it. I went to vice-principal and reported my wallet went missing and told him my suspicion.

He brought the girl to his office and asked her but she denied. Case closed, just like that. On the way out, she smirked at me and to this day, I still think it was her who had stolen my wallet just like her best friend took my keys.

2 pieces of advice I would not wish upon anyone

Published on by Yinglan7 Comments

“Be aggressive,” and “Be flexible”. These are two pieces of advice given to me by my mother that I would not give to anyone else. I will explain why but first I want to explain why she gave me these advice.

Be more Flexible!

Whoa, I don’t think she meant that literally

My mother thinks I am stubborn and don’t know how to turn things around sometimes. So she often lectures me, telling me to be more flexible. But sometimes, I wonder if I am even the one who should be taking this advice.

Like yesterday, I went in my mother’s place to verify if our tenant really works at this place. I told her later that even the manager don’t know this person. She asked me something I can’t remember and I told her I was treating it like an investigation. She took it literally and gave me this big lecture about me don’t know how to ask smartly.

“No wonder they won’t tell you anything.” She said. She thought I told the manager I was investigating.

“I was treating it like an investigation.” I told her, annoyed. “I never said I told the manager I was investigating anyone.”

“Well next time, be more flexible when you speak.” And she walked away. It leaves me wonder whether my mother should be the one that needs to be more flexible.

Be more Aggressive!

Now, that’s overly aggressive.

As usual, my mother likes to take charge of my life and I somehow let her. Well, what can I do when I’m living with a fire-breathing dragon?

Anyway, about three years ago, I got my first interview for an internship, I was completely ecstatic. Of course, my mother wouldn’t let me drive myself to the interview and insisted to drive me there herself.

On the way, she talked and talked, blabbed on and on, coaching me on what to say. I didn’t bother to listen because honestly how do I even know what’s asked in a job interview. I was just thinking of going in and winging in.

So I decided to just looked out the window until she said, “Did you hear me?” and it snapped me back to reality.

“Yeah,” I said and shook my head.

“I said be aggressive.” I nodded. “You need to make the employer want you. Answer confidently.”

I did everything she asked and didn’t get the internship. I had a couple more interviews since then and still no luck. Two weeks ago, I had one again. This time, I chose to just be myself. My mother has to stop helping me. I need to get this internship and move out to purge her influence on me and my career. Unfortunately, no news yet. I’m hoping soon though, crossing my fingers.

Here is why I won’t give these advice to anyone:

  1. I don’t tell people things unless I am very confident. I think before I speak but sometimes it doesn’t turn out so well. Besides, it’s my mother’s advice, it can turn awry like everything in my life.
  2. Some people may already be flexible and giving them this piece of advice might make them become over-flexible which is bad sometimes.
  3. The same goes to aggressive. If you’re overly aggressive, you’ll get competitive and no one will like you or maybe it’ll even get you fired.

My advice to you: Be yourself! Because without other’s advice, it will change you into someone you’re not.

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

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Today’s Daily Prompt gave a quote from Charles Dicken’s A Tale of Two Cites. A book that I haven’t yet read but this quote took me back to the day when I had to say good bye to my mother because she was leaving me again. This was back in early 2000 or 2001, I can’t remember but it was the best Chinese New Year I’ve ever had.

I was staying at my grandparents’ for my winter break when one night, my aunt suddenly called to say she’s taking me home. Normally, I’d be happy to go but Chinese New Year was coming and staying with my grandparents was an excellent chance for me to get some 红包 (lucky money) even if it’s just a couple bucks.

On the way back to my aunt’s apartment, I asked her why so sudden. She told me my mother was coming home. I was like ha, yeah right.

I went to bed that night smiling, laughing at the idea that my mother was coming. The next morning, I got a surprise. I was startled awake by none other than my mother. At first, I thought it was a dream but it wasn’t, she was really here.

During the first few days, she felt like a stranger because after all, I haven’t seen her in 2 or 3 years and skype didn’t exist then. But as the days went by, we grew close again. We did a lot of fun things and went to a lot of new places but before long, she had to leave again.

“I will be back for you.” She told me.

All the way to the airport, we talked and joked but when we got back in the car after dropping her at the airport, I was silent the whole way, just kept looking out the window, wanted to just say my proper goodbye to my mother. So even if we went to all these fun places and did all these fun things, when it comes to saying goodbye, it’s the worst of times.

Five things to realize a great friend

Published on by Yinglan5 Comments

I woke up an hour ago and looked at the prompt for today. My initial reaction was What the heck? and then my brain basically went blank. Should I even participate?

But then I thought about what if I was the one that got stuck on a desert island, I bet I will only get a big lecture from my mother, no doubt. But my former best friend? Probably a sarcastic don’t know don’t care and telling me to walk it off. So if the situation was reversed, would I do the same? Heck yeah. Why should I care when you didn’t?

Of course, I can’t imagine my mother ever get stranded. She’s had basic training and a bunch monthly drills with the army during the past 6 years. I’m pretty sure she’ll find a clever way to survive. My friend, on the other hand, might be in trouble. She maybe tough but she’s also someone who would shriek if her perfectly manicured nails were ruined. I can imagine her become one of those kids in Lord of the Flies. 😀

Let’s say before her unfortunate journey, I send her off with five things. These things are:

  1. A burner phone that has enough minutes to make one possibly two phone calls. Let’s say, hypothetically, the desert island has cell signal and she uses the phone to call me as most people do when they need help. I pick up and do that evil laugh. Now is my turn to say, “I don’t know what to do either.” Walk it off.
  2. It isn’t all that bad

    A 10-day supply of freeze-dried food. Yep, the kind that astronaut eats. It’s not too bad but 🙂 I can imagine my friend’s face. Oh, and it’s a 10-day supply if you eat according to the servings.

  3. A filter for clean water. I can’t be that evil, can I. I need to at least provide a way for some clean filtered water. Otherwise, my best friend will die before I can tell her of all the horrible humiliating things she’s done to me.

    A water filter
  4. Clean tropical clothes. At least she’ll have some spare clothes to change into.
  5. The photo of us snapped outside my apartment. Before we fell apart, my mother snapped a picture of us just outside the apartment. My friend framed it in a frame that said best friends forever and she gave it to a short time later. I will give her this photo to remind her of the time I’ve been loyal to her and the times when we were friends.

I can’t imagine what the conclusion of this will be. Once my friend gets rescued, there’s a chance she’ll hate me forever or she wants to be friends again. I guess we’ll never find out.