Happiness – Page 51 – This is Another Story

5 things I wish to change about me

Published on September 13, 2014 by Yinglan7 Comments

No such thing as perfect There are always a million things we want to change about our lives. So to list five is a difficult choice. But will crossing out those five things make our lives easier? Slightly more enjoyable? It depends, everyone is different. The five things I want to change in my life are:

1. I wish I was fast at doing things. I used to be called a slow-poke but to be honest, I’ve seen some people who are even slower than me which it’s annoying and those people are all guys.

Like the international student who came to stay with us for a month or so, we didn’t have a bathroom in the basement then, so I had to share my bathroom with him. It takes him forever to shower and it takes him even longer to get ready. It annoyed the crap out of mom and it’s even worse with me. It’s like he does things in slow-motion. This is one of the things I want to change. I try to do thing fast but sometimes in a rush, my workmanship become sloppy.

2. I wish I was more social. I am trying to accomplish this exact thing at the moment but I always back down the last minute thinking I will have another opportunity to take to this person. Guess what, I don’t.

I want to be able approach one of the Beta Alpha Psi member or even the person who sits next to me in class and be able to strike a conversation. I like being a loner but sometimes being a loner is not the good way to live life.

3. I wish I had perfect skin and not what I have now, blackhead filled and acne everywhere. I am tired of having to use different stuff and scrub the crap out of my skin every night. Also, if I have perfect skin, I won’t have to photoshop every one of my photos. 🙂

4. I wish I wasn’t born with this ridiculously rare genetic disorder that barely any doctor knows about. I want to grow, have bigger hands and feet, and I want to be taller and thin. Most of all, I want to be what it’s considered to be a normal person. I don’t want people look at me funny and I don’t want salesmen to knock on my door and ask if my parents are home because they think I am still in my teens.

5. Lastly, I wish I wasn’t raised in a setting where money is all that matters. It made me stingy and cheap. You can say it made me a hoarder, have money but never want to spend it. I don’t want to be that. I want to get what I want and be satisfied instead of racking up money and never getting the things I want.

If I cross these five things from my list of changes I want in my life, would it make my life perfect? I am not sure. It might make my life a little more enjoyable but to make life perfect would take a lot more than making changes. After all, there’s no such thing as perfect.

TGIF: I am achy and exhausted!

Published on September 12, 2014October 14, 2015 by Yinglan6 Comments

I think if you look at me now, I would probably look like the picture on the left. Not to complain but my back aches, so do my knees, legs, and heels. My arms don’t hurt but my fingers were full of pain about two hours ago. Now, I just have the usual wrist pain in my right wrist, probably from what people call the “mouse hand”. Continue reading “TGIF: I am achy and exhausted!” →

Everything has Feelings!

Published on September 12, 2014 by Yinglan2 Comments

To me, everything has feelings and a mind of their own. I know what’s like to be used. To notice you when you’re needed and neglected when you’re not. All my life, I am taught to be careful with objects, that I have to treat it gently to prolong use. So since then, I have treated every object as if it’s a person. Sometimes, I even feel sad for those objects.

Like the couch, I feel sad for it especially when guests come. I remember when my mom’s friend from San Francisco came visit, her son would occupy the leather recliner couch in the family room. I watched as he reclined the seat all the way and then lay his head on the reclining side. The reclining side is the vulnerable part of the recliner couch. The metal won’t hold a lot of weight. That’s the part that’s supposed to hold the feet, not the upper part of the body.

I felt awful for the couch, for having to endure all of that but I was afraid to tell the boy to not lay like that but his mom was there and I was equally afraid of his mom as mine.

Computers, on the other hand, have a much more sophisticate mind of my own. Though it doesn’t have feelings, it has a mind of its own. So I guess the most human machine I own would be my two laptops and the external hard-drive.

The Good, The Bad, and the Oddest

Published on September 11, 2014October 14, 2015 by Yinglan2 Comments

So I’ve had a wonderfully odd day that was full of good and bad, how ’bout you? Continue reading “The Good, The Bad, and the Oddest” →

Too much socializing for this great night

Published on September 10, 2014November 22, 2015 by Yinglan2 Comments

I did so much socializing tonight that my throat feels bone dry right now. I just drank a bottle of water (0.5 L) and my throat still feels strained. Before you ask, no I wasn’t at a party. I was at an event at school. It’s call “Meet the Firms” and it’s held every year, the second Wednesday of September. Basically, all the companies around the area come to one place and as Accounting students, it’s our jobs to go meet them and try to secure an interview for an internship or a full-time position.

It turned out every firm is hiring interns. All the firms I met tonight ask me which way I’m leaning, auditing or tax. I answered them, no preference. I am still exploring. Was that a risky answer? I have no idea. All I knew was my heart was pounding every time I approach a representative. I don’t know why. I guess I just want to say the wrong thing and then end up on their “do not hire” list if they had one which I’m pretty sure they do. 🙂

Anyway, I arrived there at a little after 5:30 pm and walked in. From the get-go, I had no clue what to do, where to start, and where’s the club. Everyone looked the same. I couldn’t tell who from who. Everyone except me wore suits. Guys, white shirt, black jacket and pants, and slick shoes while ladies, white shirt, skirt, jacket, and heels or dress shoes. Me, slacks, my most formal shirt, and tennis shoes. I guess that made me stand out just a little.

My face immediately turned red while making a round around to see what kind of firms are here. There was a lot and by a lot, I mean, much more than the turn out for the engineering career fair earlier this year.

After a few minutes, I gathered my courage and approached a company. I introduced myself, told the representative my name. He asked me where I am currently in the program and I recited my 30-seconds elevator pitch as I’ve practiced earlier today during the general career fair held at the school.

“I am currently leveling to get into the Masters program.” I said.

Immediately, he knew I didn’t do my undergrad in Accounting. “What was your major for you undergraduate?” He asked.

“Civil Engineering,” I said and immediately, I could tell he was surprised just like all the other company representatives I visited. They all asked me why I decided to do accounting. I told some of them I wanted to try new things but I also told most of them all the females in my mom’s family were accountant and I decided to follow family tradition which it’s partially true.

It did the trick for some of them, I struck a conversation while some of them just told me to go online to their websites to check out the internships. Was that a hint that I am not getting hired? Anyway, after talking to that first company, I finally found the club and I was supposed to report for volunteering duty for the next 30 minutes. They asked me to sit down and do check-in duty. It was a piece of cake since I worked as a secretary and a receptionist. After a while, I even struck a conversation with the girl sitting next to me. She was also on volunteer duty.

The 30 minutes went by just like that but now I have finally mustered the courage to go speak to the companies. Conversing with that girl helped me warm up, now I knew exactly what to say. I have made it through half of the companies by the time I checked the time on my cell. An hour had gone by. Whoa, and I thought I would rush through this and go home. Guess not.

Another 20 minutes had gone by by the time I finished talking to the other half of the companies. I’ve collected so much souvenirs, brochures, and business cards from the companies that I had to find an empty spot to organize them and put all of them in my purse. My three copies of resumes were gone, I’ve handed them out to the only companies that requested it. In the end, I got a water bottle, a dozen business cards and brochures, pens, and chocolate. I was done. I drove home and now I am going to enjoy the remainder of my lunar B-day.

Good Night!

Royal Descendant

Published on September 9, 2014 by YinglanLeave a comment

Up until now, I don’t really know that much about my roots. Even with an extensive search on the internet, the closest thing I got was what mom told me. She told me once that her mother was a descendant of a princess when China still had empire, empress, etc. So you can say, I am a descendant of a royal. 😛

I am not sure how the story of the princess went. I’ve never did a search on that but from what mom told me, she ended up marrying a commoner and then she was royal no more. To be honest, I am kind of glad that there’s no such thing as “royals” in China anymore because if the princess did not marry a commoner, I would still be royal. And that’s bad? You ask. How?

I probably wouldn’t be able to stand the isolation and publicity. Sure, I would be living in a palace but I would be isolated within the walls. Also, nosy people and photographers would be lined outside eager to get the details of my life.

So if you ask me if I rather be the heir of the throne or off-the-hook sibling, I would choose neither. Yeah, it’s great and all, getting all this public attention but I would not be able to be myself. Everything I say and do would be judged. Plus, I would have a much hectic life than what I have now and I am not cut out for hectic. So thanks but no thanks. I would rather be an ordinary nobody.

Sharing the Saddness

Published on September 5, 2014 by Yinglan5 Comments

82336-o I can choose to listen to happy songs but I cannot choose a happy movie, or show, or book. Every movie, show, and book have its tear-jerking moment. It’s simply unavoidable. Those moments make me cry like a puppy.

Mom and aunts used to say I’m low on my emotions quotient (EQ) because I did not react to things as well as they expect me to. Well, how did you expect me to react when I am constantly being threatened with a feather duster? The first time, sure I react with a little tears because I was a child but enough time, I grow as hard as a shell.

When I told mom I cried like a baby when I was reading the book If I Stay, she scoffed and said, “What’s there to cry about? People live and they die.” Then she went into this big lecture about god-knows-what. I stopped listening. The same thing happened when I told what a good book it was when I read Everything we ever wanted.

To be honest, I rarely seen mom cry. I only seen her fake cry when she stubs her toe. It’s sort of like a laugh cry, no tears and her lower lip sticks out like a sad puppy. Her exterior shell must be tougher than a turtle and to mask her sadness, she chooses anger and frustration. Now, that’s sad.

I think crying is natural, it expresses our feelings and sometimes, you just can’t help feeling the sadness as one of the characters in the book, movie, or show. I remember when I read The Faults in our Stars, when one of the characters (I won’t spoil anything) died and the main character was completely sadden by the loss of her love, I could instantly feel tears creeping into my eyes and flowing steadily down my cheeks. I had to wipe it before mom came in and gave me another one of her lectures about how crying about a book is silly.

Look who’s got low emotions quotient now. Seriously, I think there’s something wrong with mom’s emotion, she is incapable of showing sadness. I didn’t even see her cry when one of our family members died in the past five years. She just sighed and said, “Well, that’s life. What can you do?” At least show a little tear and respect.

Remnants of the Past

Published on September 3, 2014November 22, 2015 by Yinglan1 Comment

Sort of like her, except more dramatic

I was incredibly annoyed and frustrated yesterday and last night. I think the only thing I actually enjoyed yesterday was the Beta Alpha Psi meeting and the lunch gathering afterwards. By the way, I’m in. 🙂 I will be an official associate member of the club after I paid my dues. I was going to try for member but the Membership VP of the chapter said in the presentation that it’s better to make my way up from an associate member. It’s not too bad. All I need is to attend five weeks of meetings and lunches plus help out another 10 hours like helping to set up for an events.

Anyway, ah yes, annoyed and frustrated. So I began working on this month’s translation yesterday afternoon. I did not tell mom any of this but I think she will find out sooner or later. I wanted to do this month’s translation in secret so I wouldn’t be rushed. I want to do it at my pace, see?

So mom came home, whined a little about why the plumber wasn’t here to fix the water heater. It shut off automatically the night before, making my shower icy cold. Thank god, at least it’s still summer. Anyway, after her whining, I went back to my “secret” work 😉 and she began doing her homework. She just had to take her laptop downstairs, I don’t know why. 5 minutes later, she whines, “How do you do homework on this thing?”

“You just follow the instruction on the screen.” I said, tired. She’s been like this all weekend. First with excel, now with Connect, an online software we use to access our homework. On Monday, I was so busy trudging between my room and downstairs that I barely got anything done. “I have my own homework too.” I told her.

But she retorted, “If I knew how to use excel, would I ask you?” She has a point but what about the past five years when I needed homework and all I got was a big lecture about never ever go to the library. The past two days were the same, I told her, just google it. But no. That’s why I need to join this club, to get out especially when my family doubles. I don’t want to feel annoyed and frustrated as well as I don’t want to caught in the crossfire of their fighting.

Sorry I went through all this just to finally address the daily prompt, for those who got here through the pingback. I just really need to get things off my chest and I only have time for two posts today. I’m using my other post for a story on my other blog.

Okay, enough of my rambling, today’s daily prompt read:

500 years from now, an archaeologist accidentally stumbles on the ruins of your home, long buried underground. What will she learn about early-21st-century humans by going through (what remains of) your stuff?

The archaeologist would find evidence of a structurally sound house that was built in the late 20th century as well as the 21st century (partial new basement). If she dug in the backyard, she might find remnants of a variety of toys, plastic utensils, and evidence that there once was an apple tree and two Asian pear trees. Finally, she would learn that some people in the 21st century did not live with completely state-of-the-art, up-to-date technology like smartphone or ipad or iphone, etc., that some people in the 21st century are actually quite simple.

12 Again???

Published on September 2, 2014 by Yinglan3 Comments

Today’s Daily Prompt says I’m suddenly trapped in the body of a 12-year-old. Oh no but at the same time, oh yay!

Let’s see, 12, that means 2003, two years after I arrived in the United States. My English had already become slightly fluent, not as good as now but I could understand and keep up a conversation.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind going back to middle school. It would be like a second chance for me. I would be the genius of the class because I’ve already learned everything and this time, I would not shied away. I would actually and go make friends, go to parties, dates, etc.

If I was stuck in the body of a 12 year old, by the time I am my age now, I probably won’t be still living at home. I will probably be roaming the world or living somewhere else. I wouldn’t have made such a mistake as to listen to mom’s friend to choose an engineering major in college. I would have chosen some other major that dealt more with money and math like what I’m on my way to do now, accounting. With that said, if I’ve chosen the correct major for my undergraduate, I would not be still stuck in a classroom now.

So being granted such an awesome second chance would be fabulous even if I have to stuck inside someone else’s body. Not only do I get a second chance but I also get to make a difference.

Well, it’s time for school. I’m especially excited today because I am planning to join Beta Alpha Psi, a club for accountant professional. It said it would be able to help me find a job. Today’s the introductory meeting. I hope I can get in what with my dismal GPA from my undergraduate. I wish I was granted a second chance in this area. Wipe my GPA clean and let me start over. 🙂

Wish me luck in getting into this club. 🙂

No Mirror?

Published on August 31, 2014February 26, 2016 by Yinglan2 Comments

I woke up this morning, back still sore from running around yesterday but at least I am feeling better than yesterday. Mom wants to drag me to look at new cars with her but I am like no way in hell. Besides, it’s not for me, it’s for her sister. Why should I care?

Also, what’s wrong with buying a less expensive used car? But no, they don’t like used cars. They want everything to be brand new. Is this a new thing for Chinese people or is it just my family? I have no clue. For all I know, everything has to be new for them. No used or secondhand.

The cruel thing is that mom wanted to use my name to purchase the car. She wanted me to get the loan so I could build credit. It’s a big responsibility to bear. Work an unstable job plus school, I don’t think I can afford it. At the moment, I can’t even afford the down payment. I told her, “You can buy whatever you want, just don’t drag me down with you.”

So now, she’s gone to browse and I can finally blog. I gave the daily prompt a gander earlier today and I found it interesting and I can relate. Ever since I got my braces, I found myself staring into the mirror more often than before I got braces. It’s mainly to check my teeth to make sure that it’s all well. I don’t want my teeth to look like the picture my orthodontist showed me that day after I got braces.

“Brush often.” He told me and handed me a brochure. I flipped it to the back and there was a picture of perfect teeth and then there’s one that looked like my step-dad’s teeth, black, rotten, and yucky. I winced. Ever since then, I’ve been brushing regularly and checking my teeth in the mirror to make sure my teeth didn’t end up like that nasty picture (I don’t want to show you, fear it might cause some nightmares).

I don’t use the mirror just to look at my teeth, I use the mirror to see my face. Otherwise, how am I supposed to know where to put my acne medication? Other than that, I don’t really like to look at mirror especially of late because a zit by my right eye has become infected and I look like someone with a giant mole.

Anyway, back to the prompt, if I woke up one day to a world without mirror, it would definitely have some effects on me. Like, I have no idea whether my shirt is on correctly, I don’t want to be walking around with one end of the shirt handing down my shoulder. On the other hand, when I brush my teeth, I won’t have any idea if something is stuck in my teeth. Worst of all, the only perspective of myself I’m going to get is through other people’s eyes and not my own.

Ah, now I get to do some stuff of my own. 🙂

Shutting Down

Published on August 30, 2014November 22, 2015 by Yinglan3 Comments

This morning, I woke up, un-energized. My body ached while my brain felt like it’s gone into shut-down mode. I cannot think of one thing to write. I looked at the Daily Prompt and cannot think of one situation to relate. Continue reading “Shutting Down” →

Friends and Hurtful Remarks

Published on August 25, 2014August 25, 2014 by Yinglan5 Comments

School is officially starting in about 2 hours!

Now and then, I would reminisce on my middle school years. My middle school years were the happiest, the most dramatic, and the most miserable years I have ever gone through. I would happy because I had friends, actual friends compare to now, well, no friends. Then there are all those days walking home among a group of people who tease, make fun, and busily filling in the gossip. They made walking home fun. The things I don’t miss about those years were the thievery and the misery from my so-call “friends”. Yes, thievery! My stuff like my erasers, pencils, and even wallet and keys goes missing in a blink of an eye!

There were also these embarrassing situations where my face turns horrendously red because of my lack of vocabulary at the time. My so-call “friends” will be my friends when they want to but when they don’t, they took advantage of my lack of vocabulary skills and made remarks or asked me questions that I had no way of answering or just made me look stupid. Well, I just barely came in the U.S. two years ago while you were born here, how is that fair? I’d often muttered.

Anyway, there were many times when they said some crazy remarks that I wish I could justify, in 3 words, zing them back. I have a love/hate relationship with those times because at the time, my school was about 50% Asian and it was all about competition and remarks. While those were fun, they were sometimes hurtful and mean. I remember the most hurtful remark was when someone sneakily asked me whether I was a lesbian because of my short hair.

I didn’t know what that word meant at the time and it was loud outside, so I thought she said “vegetarian” and I said “yes”. I realized years later what I should had said was “Are you?” That comment basically ruined me, caused me misery for the remainder of my 7th grade year. People started calling me “he she” or pointed and laughed at me for my stupidity. I was too afraid to shoot them back at the time because I was very tiny and I didn’t want to start a fight or anything like that.

In 8th grade, when there was a new kid in school, that remark quickly turned into “you should be with him” or “you two would go great together” and they would guffaw. I had already started to grow my hair but it wasn’t long enough yet because apparently if you’re a girl and have short hair, some dumb asses would automatically assume you’re a boy or you’re gay.

Anyway, my point aside, in a way, I became somewhat known and I had an actual friend to back me up in situations like this. Since that friend in middle school, the only friends I’ve ever made was in my junior year in high school and those friends were even truer than the one in middle school. They stuck by me and helped me through various situations.

After we graduated, we lost touch when we went our separate ways but I will never forget them. At the start of each semester in college, I would reminisce and wonder whether I will find a friend or even a group of people like in middle school or high school again. Well, today, I am going to new school full of strangers who don’t know me. I know making friends is tough but I think I will really give it a go this time instead of during my undergraduate year when I just sat around waiting for a friend to come along.

Cross your fingers and wish me luck.

Changes are coming which means challenges challenges challenges!!!

Published on August 23, 2014November 22, 2015 by YinglanLeave a comment

In two days, I am back in school and I can’t help but feel like changes is coming my way. First of all, I am back in school, five days a week, each day about 3 hours (that’s not so bad 🙂 ). Continue reading “Changes are coming which means challenges challenges challenges!!!” →

Work for free???

Published on August 21, 2014November 22, 2015 by Yinglan2 Comments

Today’s prompt read, if money was out of the equation, would you still work? The answer is maybe if and that is if all the other factors are different. What do I mean, you ask? Continue reading “Work for free???” →

How is taking supplements good?

Published on August 20, 2014September 13, 2015 by Yinglan1 Comment

Popping pills is one of those things I am absolutely against. If there’s no need, why take it? Taking pills or overdosing on pills is what killed so many, isn’t it? Why do people take such dumb risks? Continue reading “How is taking supplements good?” →

A Dream Tunnel to School

Published on August 19, 2014November 22, 2015 by Yinglan5 Comments

It’s been a strange summer, I must say, weather-wise. There’s been days when it was completely sunny, not a cloud in the sky while there are days like today, cloudy sky with an occasion sprinkle. I hate those days, it makes me feel completely blue and sad. Continue reading “A Dream Tunnel to School” →

Second opinion always matters!

Published on August 10, 2014November 22, 2015 by Yinglan2 Comments

Second opinion always matters, no matter what situation we’re in. I just so happens to be very insecure when it comes to trusting my own gut. Continue reading “Second opinion always matters!” →

False Accusations

Published on August 7, 2014November 29, 2015 by Yinglan3 Comments

2755e1cfcceff6e2811c891e2d15c266 — Credit: Pinterest

Okay, so I don’t usually make accusations and assumptions unless there are evidence and fact pointing me to it but my mom, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. She likes to make accusations and assumptions. It’s almost like that’s all she does. Worst of all, her accusations are based on evidence that is not there. Almost every one of her assumptions are flawed and I have complete evidence to back me up every time.

Ever since I graduated and began staying at home, she’s been assuming I wake up very late in the morning. There is no evidence proving that. In fact, this assumption is completely 100% false! I have been waking up at 7-something every morning because I cannot sleep due to the heat. Then during just about everyday in July, when she was going to school for some language training, she shook me awake before 7 every morning.

She claimed that I can fall asleep whenever I please including after she had left at 7:45. That is completely false, too. When she was gone, I have already changed my clothes and she knew how much I hate sleeping in anything but my pajamas. Also, she is basing the fact that I can fall asleep whenever I please from when I was a baby. Babies sleeps, a lot! Well, I’m not a baby anymore.

I tried to prove her wrong a couple times by waking up at 7-something on the weekend but she didn’t acknowledge and continued to accuse me of waking up late in the morning. Ugh, so frustrating. Sometimes I just want to shout, STOP MAKING WRONG ACCUSATIONS!!!

A Curious Tale For a Saturday

Published on August 2, 2014November 22, 2015 by YinglanLeave a comment

It is very hard to sleep in sometime even when I’m given the chance. This morning, I woke up to loud laughs and shouts downstairs. Continue reading “A Curious Tale For a Saturday” →

The Rhythm of Life

Published on July 29, 2014November 22, 2015 by Yinglan4 Comments

Once in a while, everyone needs a breather whether it’s from work, school, or just from the exhaustion of everyday chores. It is an important way for us to restore our energy and then get back out there and do it all over again. For me, it’s singing along to my stereo. However, sometimes I can’t do that despite how much I want to. Continue reading “The Rhythm of Life” →

The Weekend’s Series of Unfortunate Events

Published on July 28, 2014November 22, 2015 by YinglanLeave a comment

Happy Monday, everyone! How was your weekends? Mine was horrible. Just kidding! But seriously. It was even more horrible than that weekend without internet! Continue reading “The Weekend’s Series of Unfortunate Events” →

Writing by Prompt

Published on July 26, 2014November 22, 2015 by Yinglan7 Comments

One of the things I love about blogging is to be able to free-write. I can write about whatever I want. But this is one of the things I don’t like about blogging because if you get so used to free-write, if it comes down writing based on a prompt, there might be trouble. Continue reading “Writing by Prompt” →