This morning, I woke up, un-energized. My body ached while my brain felt like it’s gone into shut-down mode. I cannot think of one thing to write. I looked at the Daily Prompt and cannot think of one situation to relate. Continue reading “Shutting Down”
Tag: Happiness
Friends and Hurtful Remarks
School is officially starting in about 2 hours!
Now and then, I would reminisce on my middle school years. My middle school years were the happiest, the most dramatic, and the most miserable years I have ever gone through. I would happy because I had friends, actual friends compare to now, well, no friends. Then there are all those days walking home among a group of people who tease, make fun, and busily filling in the gossip. They made walking home fun. The things I don’t miss about those years were the thievery and the misery from my so-call “friends”. Yes, thievery! My stuff like my erasers, pencils, and even wallet and keys goes missing in a blink of an eye!
There were also these embarrassing situations where my face turns horrendously red because of my lack of vocabulary at the time. My so-call “friends” will be my friends when they want to but when they don’t, they took advantage of my lack of vocabulary skills and made remarks or asked me questions that I had no way of answering or just made me look stupid. Well, I just barely came in the U.S. two years ago while you were born here, how is that fair? I’d often muttered.
Anyway, there were many times when they said some crazy remarks that I wish I could justify, in 3 words, zing them back. I have a love/hate relationship with those times because at the time, my school was about 50% Asian and it was all about competition and remarks. While those were fun, they were sometimes hurtful and mean. I remember the most hurtful remark was when someone sneakily asked me whether I was a lesbian because of my short hair.
I didn’t know what that word meant at the time and it was loud outside, so I thought she said “vegetarian” and I said “yes”. I realized years later what I should had said was “Are you?” That comment basically ruined me, caused me misery for the remainder of my 7th grade year. People started calling me “he she” or pointed and laughed at me for my stupidity. I was too afraid to shoot them back at the time because I was very tiny and I didn’t want to start a fight or anything like that.
In 8th grade, when there was a new kid in school, that remark quickly turned into “you should be with him” or “you two would go great together” and they would guffaw. I had already started to grow my hair but it wasn’t long enough yet because apparently if you’re a girl and have short hair, some dumb asses would automatically assume you’re a boy or you’re gay.
Anyway, my point aside, in a way, I became somewhat known and I had an actual friend to back me up in situations like this. Since that friend in middle school, the only friends I’ve ever made was in my junior year in high school and those friends were even truer than the one in middle school. They stuck by me and helped me through various situations.
After we graduated, we lost touch when we went our separate ways but I will never forget them. At the start of each semester in college, I would reminisce and wonder whether I will find a friend or even a group of people like in middle school or high school again. Well, today, I am going to new school full of strangers who don’t know me. I know making friends is tough but I think I will really give it a go this time instead of during my undergraduate year when I just sat around waiting for a friend to come along.
Cross your fingers and wish me luck.
Changes are coming which means challenges challenges challenges!!!
In two days, I am back in school and I can’t help but feel like changes is coming my way. First of all, I am back in school, five days a week, each day about 3 hours (that’s not so bad 🙂 ). Continue reading “Changes are coming which means challenges challenges challenges!!!”
Work for free???
Today’s prompt read, if money was out of the equation, would you still work? The answer is maybe if and that is if all the other factors are different. What do I mean, you ask? Continue reading “Work for free???”
How is taking supplements good?
Popping pills is one of those things I am absolutely against. If there’s no need, why take it? Taking pills or overdosing on pills is what killed so many, isn’t it? Why do people take such dumb risks? Continue reading “How is taking supplements good?”
A Dream Tunnel to School
It’s been a strange summer, I must say, weather-wise. There’s been days when it was completely sunny, not a cloud in the sky while there are days like today, cloudy sky with an occasion sprinkle. I hate those days, it makes me feel completely blue and sad. Continue reading “A Dream Tunnel to School”
Second opinion always matters!
Second opinion always matters, no matter what situation we’re in. I just so happens to be very insecure when it comes to trusting my own gut. Continue reading “Second opinion always matters!”
False Accusations
Okay, so I don’t usually make accusations and assumptions unless there are evidence and fact pointing me to it but my mom, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. She likes to make accusations and assumptions. It’s almost like that’s all she does. Worst of all, her accusations are based on evidence that is not there. Almost every one of her assumptions are flawed and I have complete evidence to back me up every time.
Ever since I graduated and began staying at home, she’s been assuming I wake up very late in the morning. There is no evidence proving that. In fact, this assumption is completely 100% false! I have been waking up at 7-something every morning because I cannot sleep due to the heat. Then during just about everyday in July, when she was going to school for some language training, she shook me awake before 7 every morning.
She claimed that I can fall asleep whenever I please including after she had left at 7:45. That is completely false, too. When she was gone, I have already changed my clothes and she knew how much I hate sleeping in anything but my pajamas. Also, she is basing the fact that I can fall asleep whenever I please from when I was a baby. Babies sleeps, a lot! Well, I’m not a baby anymore.
I tried to prove her wrong a couple times by waking up at 7-something on the weekend but she didn’t acknowledge and continued to accuse me of waking up late in the morning. Ugh, so frustrating. Sometimes I just want to shout, STOP MAKING WRONG ACCUSATIONS!!!
A Curious Tale For a Saturday
It is very hard to sleep in sometime even when I’m given the chance. This morning, I woke up to loud laughs and shouts downstairs. Continue reading “A Curious Tale For a Saturday”
The Rhythm of Life
Once in a while, everyone needs a breather whether it’s from work, school, or just from the exhaustion of everyday chores. It is an important way for us to restore our energy and then get back out there and do it all over again. For me, it’s singing along to my stereo. However, sometimes I can’t do that despite how much I want to. Continue reading “The Rhythm of Life”
The Weekend’s Series of Unfortunate Events
Happy Monday, everyone! How was your weekends? Mine was horrible. Just kidding! But seriously. It was even more horrible than that weekend without internet! Continue reading “The Weekend’s Series of Unfortunate Events”
Writing by Prompt
One of the things I love about blogging is to be able to free-write. I can write about whatever I want. But this is one of the things I don’t like about blogging because if you get so used to free-write, if it comes down writing based on a prompt, there might be trouble. Continue reading “Writing by Prompt”
Best Friends For-Never
I had a best friend once. In fact, I had more than one. Continue reading “Best Friends For-Never”
Paid off Finally!
Last October, when I dropped below half-time (<6 credits) in school, the loan company immediately needed me to repay my student loan. How dumb is that? At least let me finish school, earn a decent wage before making me repay the loans. Continue reading “Paid off Finally!”
There is no better feeling than knowing all your work is done
The entire week last week, mom has been pushing me. She was like, “I want to get this done this weekend.” Unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy. You can’t rush when it came to updating a website. Continue reading “There is no better feeling than knowing all your work is done”
Competitive or Underpaid?
I have been wondering whether or not I should write this post but now that the question is burning a hole in my mind, how can I not? At least let me rant a bit. Continue reading “Competitive or Underpaid?”
I wanted to post yesterday but…
Exhaustion and laziness took over. Ever since my test on Tuesday, I didn’t want to do anything. Even now, I still don’t want to do anything but I can’t do that, can I?
On Friday morning, after waiting ’til the last day, I finally got an agenda for Saturday’s club meeting. Then that night, after spending a half-an-hour late in the night preparing for a last-minute speech, I decided to just wing the speech the next day, speak at the top of my head even though I wrote the speech more than two weeks ago as a “Throwback Thursday” post (hint: it’s the one about braces).
Yesterday morning, I was again shaken out of bed in the wee early hours (6:30 am) in the 
morning by mom for what was the 6th time this week. She was in a hurry off to her monthly training and was having trouble scanning papers onto her computer. So here I am, half asleep, trying to see the blurry error message on the computer while operating the scanner. It just said the printer was low in ink. Why couldn’t she read that for herself?
As soon as that was done, I immediately went back to sleep only to be woken up less than 2 minutes later. This time, she couldn’t find her phone. “Where’s my cell?” She stood over me demanded.
“Um, it’s charging in your room?” I groaned sleepily.
She shuffled out the room and found the phone on her nightstand, charging. “How did you know where it was?” She said where she put it like 10 minutes ago, didn’t she? But I was simply too sleepy to answer.
Anyway, three hours later, I found myself along with two other members of my club trying to get into our meeting spot. I used to work at the school and got my finger printed to access the building. Unfortunately, the security system at the door is all too stubborn. It refused to let me in! I kept pressing my thumb on the thing and it kept flashing red light until my luck changed. It beeped and just like that the doors unlocked and we’re in.
The school corridor felt empty, dark, and cold like I’ve just walked onto a horror movie set. Thank god I wasn’t alone, otherwise I’d be scared. We used the school library for our meeting spot and in the end, only two other people showed. So our meeting was short and quick with me winging my speech in six-minutes-sixteen-seconds and a lot of suggestions were made to improve the meeting. Afterward, I went home, made some of my mom’s famous wontons and went up to my room. But not before mom’s annoying friend called and said she would come over to bring some vegetables to us.
That basically delayed me in taking the quizzes for my summer classes. An hour later, she showed up with two large white bags, one with Chinese bok choy and the other filled with watercress. It barely fit into the fridge but I forced it in. Ah, finally, I can take my exam BUT as I logged onto the website and about to begin, mom comes home and demanded I help her unload the grocery. Now our fridge is basically full to the brim. The cherries are stacked on top of the eggs, the vegetables are on top of the rice, and the pound cakes are squeezed in the middle.
Then it was exam time. I took almost the entire time (1 hour), searching for answers on the web since the book was so lack of everything (details, answers…). Naturally, I got them all right. After that, I just didn’t want to do anything more. I didn’t want to relax either. I don’t know what I want to do exactly. All I know is I don’t want to take anymore exams!!!
But I can’t, can I. I have to take two more today and the midterm tomorrow. Then, I would have to work, complete 5 discussions for my microeconomics class, and write a 4-5 pages essay for both my micro and macroeconomics classes. (Sigh) At this rate, when can I go to the gym? This has to be my busiest summer yet.
I need to get my thoughts on something, don’t I?
Have a wonderful Sunday!
Lucky Charm
Last year, when my aunt from China came to visit, she brought along a whole boatload of goodies in her luggage from Chinese New Year decorations that are still plastered all over the house to this, just your plain everyday souvenir. I hung it in my car ever since. Continue reading “Lucky Charm”
Goals for the remainder of this Summer
Wait, it’s the “remainder of this Summer” already??? 😮
Yes! Yes, it is and before you know it, Fall rolls around and then the Winter. Time flies! I guess that’s the one down side of being so optimistic. Anyway, I’m going to savor what’s left of this summer by getting the most I can out of it.
- First and most important goal, PASS my two summer classes! And I don’t mean just C’s, I want A’s! But I have taken my GMAT exam yesterday, don’t ask, I now have one thing out of the way, I can focus on my remainder tasks which are classes.
- Become committed to exercise again. Even though I haven’t gain a pound over the last two months after I quit exercising because of all the crazy stuff that’s popped up out of the blue, I need to whip myself into shape again for when my aunt gets here. I don’t want to give her any excuses to make fun of me. So I need to go to gym and do some hard-core exercising. Who’s with me?
- Keep up with blogging! You cannot believe how many times I wanted to quit especially in the past week or past month even. That’s probably why my posts have been so shoddy but your likes, follows, comments, and all the traffic kept me going. I need to prove to myself that I AM NOT A QUITTER and do not have commitment issues.
- Keep my anxiety and anger under control. That is not a very good goal, is it? For me, it is. The fact that my emotions have never been so out of control scares me. I mean, often times, I am happy but then I would suddenly find myself getting angry over little things. I need to work on that.
- I don’t know at the moment what else I’d like to achieve over this summer. I can always read a few books but it’s not much compared to these big goals.
In my opinion, this summer have been the least “chilled” and productive summer of my life. So much to do and no time to do it. Just work and study but at least now I have one less thing to study. 🙂
Thanks for reading and see you back here soon!
The one thing that went right…
Happy Monday, how were your weekends?
Sorry it took me so long to post something. I guess I’m just overwhelmed with laziness and frustration. Last weekend started so well with July 4th and all. On Saturday, mom even took me to Costco and I finally purchased a new computer! Then on the way home, at Home Depot, I bought the shelf I’ve said in my post that I needed. I was super excited.
The moment I got home, I immediately went into assembling the shelf. My brain went into high gear and I put together the shelf in no time. I moved the shelf along with my new computer into my room.
Then trouble… Dung Dung Dung!
The internet went down. Well, not down like last time but it became snail-like, even slower than before I switched to cable. The only place in the house that wasn’t slow was anywhere but my room! Can you believe this?
So I’ve been messing and tweaking the modem and router (resetting and moving it around) for the last two days. However, nothing changed. This morning when I could barely get online, I became angry and called up Comcast (the company I signed up internet) and asked what’s going on. No one could answer my question. Instead, the lady reset my modem and I lost her because my phone depended on the internet (no internet, no phone 😦 )
I re-installed everything again and three hours later, everything’s still the same if not slower than before. Pissed, I called Comcast and they insisted I need the change my modem. So I went down there and stood in line for 30 minutes, came back with a brand-new modem. Still, the internet was still so damn slow! WHAT???
The thing that finally went right since I got the shelf was swapping the router 30 minutes. The internet finally became normal-ish again but it just doesn’t feel the same anymore. I don’t know, maybe after two days of irritatingly slow internet and constantly disconnecting, I’m just afraid it might do that again.
Anyway, I won’t write too much today since it’s kind of like my final hours. My GMAT is less than 24 hours. So I have to go panic!!!
Just kidding, I have to do some last minute study though. EEP!!! I’m so excited until it ends tomorrow. 🙂
Throwback Thursday: Cloudy with a chance of Reconciliation and Cash?
You ever hear someone say, “you took the risk and it paid off”? Continue reading “Throwback Thursday: Cloudy with a chance of Reconciliation and Cash?”
Drum roll please, 100th post!!! Need to brag on my accomplishments and bag on my frustrations
Before I say anything else, I would just like to say, this is my 100th post! I know right? It feels like a whirlwind. After two straight months of constant blogging, I’ve reached my second major goal! The first was of course 100 followers.
Well technically, I have been blogging for more than a year but don’t forget the 5-month hiatus not to mention I’ve only managed to publish less than 10 posts a month from September to April. So really, I’ve only been blogging for 2 months. Honestly, I thought it would take me a lot longer than that to post 100 articles.
On another note, I would also like to brag on myself a little bit. Last Saturday, during my club meeting, I was nominated and awarded the coveted “Outstanding Toastmaster Award”!!! Of course, I knew that because one of the Sergeant at Arms spilled the beans during the last meeting in May but still, it’s not always the Club President gives a specific member recognition. It almost feels like my 5th grade award assembly, except without the surprise. Aww, now I’m making myself blush.
Anyway, onto a more serious note. For the past week, I found myself feeling uninspired to write. 😦 Not only blogwise but in general. It’s like my imagination’s shutting down on me. I am even stuck on the 5th re-write of the novel I’ve working for the past year. I don’t know what’s happening.
Maybe it’s the test and my classes burying down on me? Maybe after next Tuesday, when I can finally take a breath, then my imagination and creativity would come back to me? Right now, the best is to hope.
What did the doctor say?!
I DON’T KNOW!!! Continue reading “What did the doctor say?!”
This is Another Story 