Yesterday was officially the last final of my academic career. I could feel my brain sagged just a little the minute the TA collected the test papers from my hands. I was like, “Yes! After 20 years, I’m finally done.” Continue reading “A Life of Endless Learning” →
My weight has always been a big issue for me but it wasn’t until the recent years when it became the problem of my life, the rock that’s keeping me from being happy. Over the past several years, I’ve been trying to get back to the normal weight I’ve had when I first moved to where I am about 5 years ago but the weights just kept piling on.
When I first set foot in the United States 12 years ago, I was 4′ 3″ and weighed 85 pounds. At the time, I was already considered “fat” by my family and my classmates but to people here, I was considered tiny. That made me feel a little better because for once, I wasn’t called fat. However, as the years passed and 6″ later, my weight went up dramatically and it didn’t do me any good. You see, I was born with small veins and because of my Albright’s Syndrome, I have to go get my blood checked every 3 months or so.
With the weight gain, so did the difficulty of drawing blood grew. Last May when I had the surgery in my leg, I was 115 pounds and it took the anesthetist almost 30 minutes to do the IV on me and in the end he still failed. They gave up and had to use gas to knock me out. This was just the beginning. Since then, I gained another 4 or 5 pounds and the last few times I had to do lab work, it took at least 3 technicians before one of them could nail me.
I told my mom about it and she blamed me for not consistently exercising and gain weight. That made me feel even worse than before I told her. To be honest, I’ve always wanted to exercise but due to the pain I suffer in my legs and the lack of motivation, I gave up after a week or so. My mom didn’t motivate me at all. I mean if she had exercised with me and we did some fun activities together, maybe I wouldn’t get so bored and quit. No, we both did our own things and before I knew it, I was about 120 pounds and sitting at home all day doing nothing.
About a month, I finally had an epiphany. I was on my way to my doctor’s appointment, it was 40 degrees out and I had to walk two blocks or so from the bus stop to the clinic. When I finally arrived at the clinic and climbed the two flights of stairs to the doctor’s office, I not only was sweating and breathless but my heart was beating like a helicopter. By the time the nurse called me into the little room, my heart was still pounding and she put that little clip on my finger to check my pulse. It was still 100.
I leaned back in my chair and thought, damn what’s happened to me? I was never so out of breath climbing stairs before. Then I knew that it was time for me to commit to exercising again, to slip back into the routine I had two years ago when my mom made me go exercising everyday.
But how?
I need motivation, a reason to keep going. Then I thought of one, my future. I need to be in better shape in order to find a job, work, and even start a family, maybe. I also thought of writing because writing was the first long-term commitment for me. So I thought if I can keep writing for this long, why not commit to going to the gym for just as long?
Since the end of March, I’ve been committed to go to gym five days a week while taking a break on the weekends and let my muscles rest. Since then, I’ve successfully gone back to the weight I was over a year ago and I’m still on my way to lose more. Now, I’m not only feeling better than before but by exercising, I feel like I’m thinking more clearly and doing better in school.
As I sit here at my desk thinking and thinking and I realized, it’s almost the last week of February and I still haven’t written a single post for this blog this whole month. It’s strange to think I’ve done so much this past week let alone this past month. Hmm, what to write about? Ding, a light bulb lit up in my head, let’s summarize how 2014 has been for me so far; sort of like a timeline I can look back at the end of the year.
January:
First of all, 2014 started on a light note. On New Year’s Day, I had the house all to myself as I sat on the couch in my pajamas watching the Rose Parade which I enjoy watching every year. Then on the second week of January, school started and I was incredibly excited to see my friend Laura, who I haven’t seen since we took the FE back in October. Speaking of school, it started that same week at Layton Christian but I wasn’t back at work until the last week of January.
Of course, there’s happiness in life but it has to also have some anger and sadness to even it out. So there wasn’t much sadness during the month of January but there was plenty of anger that went with it. You probably know this from my post at the end of January, on the eve of Chinese New Year, I called home to China and well, got into a bit of an argument with my grandparents. Now, I’m betting that they’ll never want to speak to me again.
On to February:
February was and is still a bit of an annoying month for me. The Winter Olympics seemed to taken all the joy of watching television
from me. Everything’s on rerun and there are hardly anything to watch. Guess that just leaves me more time to do my homework and work on my writing. The most annoying thing of all is my mother, she got into a little mess at work and she felt she has to tell me not once, not twice, not three times but repeatedly every single night for the past week.
I’m like, I know already. Just stop talking about it, please. But still, I find her muttering the same thing to herself every night while cooking dinner or just surfing the internet. Otherwise, February’s been an interesting month for me, a bit slow but good.
On another note…
Earlier this month, I’ve finally decided to just hell with it (pardon me) and posted the entire fantasy novel I’ve written last summer onto booksie and hopefully receive some comments. You can view it by clicking here.
Also late last month, I’ve posted a supernatural romantic novella I’ve written at the end of last year. It’s basically the prelude to the fiction series I’ve been doing on this blog working titled “Fiction time.” You can read it by clicking here.
Best news of all, at least for me, I quit my tutoring job and found a so much better substitute, translation/quality control. I don’t know how long this one will last but it’s so much more stable than my job with the Li’s family. Hopefully, I can rack up enough hours these few months to buy myself a newer used car. My current car is almost 20 years old and it’s dying.
As for school, well let’s just say I don’t want to jinx it. I’m doing so well right now and hopefully I can keep it up and get a good grade. Let’s just say I want to graduate from my program on a high note.
As for this blog, I will try to post more than one post next month or maybe I’ll even start perhaps next week. Who knows? I’ve been itching to write a post about money or maybe a snippets of a new fiction I’m working on. We’ll see.
Arguing and picking a fight with old people can never end well. They will always say they’re right and you’ll most likely be forced to admit it in the end. Most of the time, those arguments and fights will most likely lead you nowhere. Continue reading “Grandpa Always Wins” →
Please Help!
Since 2014 has arrived, I believe it is time to make some new goals myself and even for our beloved homeless Toastmasters club. At the end of 2013, we have gained a club coach but lost three members in the process. As the VP Membership, I can’t say that I’m pleased at the result of a club coach. After all, a club coach is supposed to help the club gain members, not lose members. However, the lost of our club members is not the club coach’s fault. Our beloved members left for a reason, they left because of jobs, school, and family matters. Due to the lost of those three members, our club is now down to five members and a coach and our goal for distinguish club is now nowhere in sight. That is why we need to set some goals for the new year.
#1 Reach Distinguish…
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December 21 is a very special day. It marks the day of the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year. It is also the day I stepped
onto a Boeing 777 at Guangzhou Baiyun Airport and stepped off of the same plane 11 hours later at LAX. Thus, this day makes it that much more special to me.
Even after 12 years, I can still remember it perfectly and through the years, I’ve spent this day at home with peace and quiet as I commemorated the journey and adventures I’ve had since I’ve been in the United States as well as celebrating the holidays. Some of the years had been fun like flying to Texas or driving to Las Vegas while there are the one where I was ill and had to spend overnight in an emergency room. That was not a pleasant experience for me.
It all began second to the last day of school before winter break. I was in seventh grade, by the way. As I went back to class after lunch, I began feeling chilly even though it was 70 degrees. My head suddenly felt so heavy. I thought maybe I’m just tired after lunch.
I sat down at my desk and let my achy head rest on my arms while waiting for the teacher to call the roll and get on with the lesson. After a while, my head became so heavy that I couldn’t even lift it up anymore. That was when I knew I was coming down with something but I just thought it was a minor cold or something. So for the rest of the day, I did the best I could to concentrate on the lesson while my head pounded with my heart beat.
By the time school ended, my mom came to pick me up, I was pretty sure I was running on a temperature by this point. As I rode home, I told mom how awful I was feeling. She said, “It might be just a little cold. You’ll be okay tomorrow.” She didn’t even bother with feeling my head.
It wasn’t true. The next day, that “little cold” became much worse and my parents decided that I wasn’t fit to go to school even though it was the last day. After they took me to a doctor in the morning, I spent the remaining of the day in bed, feeling bored as the bones all over my body burnt and ached, preventing me to do anything including move.
My step-dad constantly came into my room, urging me to drink juice and water while periodically fed medicine to me like I was a baby. The fire in my bones was temporary put out not long after I ingested the awful tasting syrup but it came back after about 30 minutes.
For the next three days, I took my medicine and drank an undesirable amount of water at one time while spending my time in bed, drifting in and out of sleep. I had no appetite to eat anything either as I never got hungry lying in bed all day. Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t have to eat. Mom fed me liquid food when she could, trying to make me feel better.
By Monday evening, I was still feeling feverish. My condition had not improved at all since I began taking the medicine three days ago. My bones still ached, so I decided to take a hot shower and just head to bed hoping tomorrow would be better.
While lying here in bed, my vision suddenly became slightly blurred as I stared into the light. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but I involuntarily opened my eyes again. That’s weird, I thought, there’s nothing in front of me, it’s all white light.
I blinked and the image warped. It warped into a spinning image of my room. Why is my room spinning or is my bed spinning? I tried to grab the bed to hold on but all my muscles seemed to be locked and uncontrollable. What’s happening to me?
Suddenly, distorting voices came into my head include my mom and a voice I haven’t heard in a long time, my dad. I know that sounds scary and I don’t think I was imagining things but sometimes these situations can do things to you. Anyway, it was my dad telling me to hang on in my native tongue.
“Daddy?” I wanted to say but my mouth was working.
“Don’t give up. Keep hanging on. Relax.” He kept saying.
I tried my hardest to relax and hope my muscles would come back to me while a new voice chimed in. “Wake up, please, wake up.” It said.
My mom’s worried face suddenly filled my sight. “What happened and what’s the noise outside?” I asked.
“You had a seizure. We didn’t know what to do. So we called the ambulance.” She pulled me up and wrapped me in a hug. “You scared me to death. How did this happen?”
“I-I don’t know.” I stammered.
My step-dad came in with two firemen. Mom pulled me to the side of my bed while one of the firemen tested me to make sure I didn’t have any brain damage. I followed his finger as he moved it and stated clearly my name, address, and birthday.
After a few minutes, he concluded that there’s no damage to my brain but I do need to go to the hospital for a check-up, at least to make sure everything’s fine. One thing’s for certain though, my fever is finally going down.
So my mom and I waited in the emergency room until after midnight by which I’ve already taken a nap even though my step-dad advised against it. They put me on a bed and started me on saline and for the first time in four days, I felt better.
About three hours later, the doctor came back with the result from my blood test. He said my calcium level is way below normal and that was what caused the seizure. He prescribed some medication to help with the flu and recommended me to drink more juice and milk and I was allowed to leave.
As mom drove home, I stared out the window thinking about my dad’s voice during the seizure and then I’ve decided I would never let anyone know for the fear that they might think I was out of my mind. “Are you okay?” Mom asked as we were approaching the apartment gate. I nodded quietly. She glanced at the clock and said, “You know, you’ve just spent the first few hours of your special day in an emergency room.”
She smiled and it suddenly came to me that it’s already December 21. I’ve just spent the first 3 hours of my third anniversary in the United States in the hospital. I gave a soft chuckle. This has been the weirdest experience of my life.
There are no words to describe what I’m feeling right now. I lean my head sideways to get a look at the dashboard to check the time for what feels like the millionth time on this trip. I wish my mom would just park the car already. Even though it’s been the most exciting day I’ve had in a while but it’s also been longest day I’ve had in a while. Right now, I have just got to get out of this hot and stuffy car.
“Why can’t they make bigger spaces?” Mom mutters frustratingly at the wheel as she passes yet another spot.
It isn’t that the spaces are too small for her 1984 Toyota Cressida, it’s because she doesn’t know how to back-in parallel park. Apparently, her friend, Simon, up in the front doesn’t want to help either. He just keeps giving her suggestions and want to take no action to help.
My mom turns on her blinker, another round, here we come, I let out a quiet moan and rest my head on the headrest. Hot flash anger ascends on the inside as I drum my fingers impatiently on the door handle. My left arm remain sweaty and pin down by the arm of the giant baby snoring soundly in the middle.
“Maybe you should just try parking in the parking lot.” Simon suggests.
Uh oh, he is one suggestion too far. All day long, he’s been making suggestions to my mom. Don’t leave the AC on in the car, it will ruin the engine. Keep the speed at 65, it’ll save some gas. I can feel my mom has just about had enough. Her grip of the wheel tightens and her eyes stare straight ahead, maybe too straight.
She is like a volcano about to blow, a grenade with the cord pulled. Don’t blow, mom. Don’t blow. I try to send the thought to her as our eyes meet in the rear view mirror. It doesn’t work.
“If there are no parking out here, there definitely not going to have any parking in the parking lot.” She snaps.
The car suddenly becomes ghostly silent. I can hear the engine humming tiredly as my mom directs the car to the end of the block again. This time, instead of turning on the right blinker, she turns on the left and swerves into the left lane. She stops at the light with her blinker still blinking.
I didn’t dare ask any questions since she is so close to losing it. I concentrate on the tic tac tic tac of the blinker and stare out the window. It’s then I suddenly realize, there isn’t anything to turn left to.
We are under a sky-walk and to the left was lined with sidewalk. Where is she going to turn left to? Has she gone crazy with anger?
The light turns green and she slams her foot on the gas pedal. The car lurches forward. She lightly taps on the brakes at the approach of the next light. The left blinker remains blinking and no one in the car dares to ask her why.
When the light turns green again, she releases the brake and lets the car slide forward. About three feet later, she stops again. What now? I wonder and lean against the window to stare at the green light.
Soon, the light turns yellow and the incoming traffic slows. Then she does something I never imagine she would do on such a narrow road. She turns the wheel several rounds and steps on the gas. In a matter of seconds, we are on the other side of the road.
My heart pounds with fear and adrenaline while she executed the turn. It is by far the most thrilling thing I have experienced on this trip and it takes my mind off that we’ve been circling the block for 45 minutes looking for a parking space.
After the turn, she resumes her position in the right lane and lightly dips on the gas to cruise the car smoothly on the road. That smooth driving was soon interrupted when she suddenly slams her foot on the brakes propelling me forward. Thank god I wore my seat belt.
This time I know exactly what’s happening, she has found a large enough parking space. She switches on the right blinker to signal the cars behind her as she slowly steered the car head-on into the space. I sigh with relief as I press the release button on my seat belt with my free hand.
I open the door and step out, sliding my left arm from under the snoring kid in the middle. It is unbelievable that what happened just now didn’t wake him. He let out a sound that resembled a pig as I slide my left arm from under his arm.
I roll my eyes and step onto the sidewalk. My sleeping legs wobble beneath me while my arms numb and sweaty swing freely beside me like noodles. A short time later, I lift my arms and stretch to the sky, shaking off the numbness from sitting in a car for the last two hours.
“This is Huntington Beach. Everybody, please follow me.” My mom calls after everyone are out of the car.
I walk behind everyone and glad to see my mom’s mood lightened. After we cross the street, She was once again chatting with her friends. By the time we hit the sand, excitement course through me again as I immediately take off running toward the water. I’ve been waiting for this moment all day, ever since mom said we were going to beach this afternoon.
When I finally reach the water, I let the cool breeze come over me as I marvel the beauty and endlessness of the ocean. I finally made it. I stretched my arms into the sky and whispered, I am here.
Do you know someone who buys things without looking or caring about the price tag? Continue reading “Do these people ever care about the price tags?” →
Lately, I don’t know, I feel tired, headachy, and most of all, I don’t feel like working in school as a language tutor anymore. Continue reading “Can my English be declining or is it just my imagination?” →
It is the third day that my mom stayed home this week. Continue reading “Day #3: No work Government Shutdown Stinks!” →
Have you ever had a task where you are supposed to create a calculation program using Excel? Continue reading “Is Excel our Friend or Enemy?” →
When I first arrived in the United States, before leaving the airport, my mom said, Continue reading “The Incidence with Public Manner” →
Continue reading “Traditional Chinese New Year Delicacy” →
It is finally February, the weather in January this year had been so wild. As I was watching the weather report last night on the news, I couldn’t help thinking that I actually experienced that. I mean last year was so warm and dry that we experienced drought in the summer. Last month alone, there were 20 something days of snow, 30 days of haze and fog, and 1 day of freezing rain. Not to mention the subzero temperatures that are rarely faced in Salt Lake City. Worst of all, I had to take 2 weather days off school, which I’d never had to do.
Still, as I saw the snow pack total on the news last night, I just couldn’t believe when the weatherman announced that the snowpack total is only 84% for the month of January. I was like, 84%, the snow piles are as tall as a person outside my home. Someone in my neighborhood even had enough snow to make a large cute snow dog.
This picture was taken early January, trust me, there is a whole lot more now. Even this week alone, we received about half of foot of snow. Well, it’s been snowing nonstop from Sunday to Wednesday, what do you expect. Yesterday was started to get better and hopefully it will continue this way. I am so tired from shoveling all this snow that I am ready for it to end and hope that there won’t be another freezing rain storm soon.
This winter had been a long one and I am looking forward for it to end. By the way, did anyone catch the news about Ground Hog Day on Saturday? How soon will Spring Be here?
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