Tag: Humor

Free land

Published on by Yinglan3 Comments

Apparently my mom has decided to vacuum at 8:30 in the morning. The house is noisy as hell and you know what noises do to me, it takes away my inspiration. That’s why I don’t listen to music or watch anything during my blogging time. Hopefully, she’ll be done soon and I can hop over to my other blog and create a lovely short story for this beautiful Sunday morning.

Anyway, on daily prompt today, we’ve been given a plot of land and have the financial resources to do what ever we please.

Land just like this, with a nice cozy house and a rescue / rehab / therapy horse ranch. With a cow pasture and godly morals. All I need.It’s funny because I glanced at this prompt at 6:30 this morning when I was still half asleep, I thought it said “we’ve been given a plot of land with financial resources” as in there’s something about the land that will make money. Oil, perhaps? Maybe gold?

Anyway, after I woke up and read a few responses to the prompt, I was more confused than ever. About 5 minutes ago, I finally went to the daily post page and gave the prompt a thorough read-through. It’s all clear to me now. We have the money to do whatever we want with that land.

What would I do with this magnificent piece of land, given to me by wordpress?

It depends on the answers of the following questions.

1. Does it have anything buried underneath, like gold, coal, or oil? Yes? I’ll invest it in the discovery of that substance whether make it an oil derrick or a coal mine.

2. Will it make me money? Yes? This question is sort of tied to the previous one. Investment in oil, gold, coal, etc.

3. Or will it be a useless piece of earth that cannot be used for anything except build houses on top of it? In this case, I can do nothing but build a gorgeous custom home designed by your truly along with a beautiful farm or garden, depending on the size of the land.

There is one thing I will never do and that is make it commercial. Don’t ask me why.

Image credited to google and pinterest

To Places of Curiosity

Published on by Yinglan1 Comment

Before blogging, I used to spend most of my free time watching television shows on Hulu and one of the show was House Hunter International. I watch this show not because I want to know what fabulous houses people are going to buy. I watch it because it spends a segment of every episode exploring the location, from basic detail like where it’s located to other fun facts like economy and its chief import and export, facts that might just get the viewers curious enough to visit the place as well.

Some of the places I want to visit someday, in general, are South America and Asia (excluding China). Of course, I want to see Europe as well but watching news, travel shows and reading some of the travel blogs got me curious about these places about whether or not the news had been exaggerating about these places or if it’s indeed dangerous to visit. Like Mexico, my mom told me that severed head hung on the highway. Hair sticks out my skin just to hear that. Yet I see people house hunting in Mexico. I know there are good places and dark places and then there are places that are too dangerous to visit but you know what I mean? Curious.

Pailón del Diablo waterfall, Ecuador
Like this waterfall in Ecuador

Like my mom, I am sort of a history buff as well. So I want to go into the heart of South America and explore all the places that only a few tourists are interested to go there. I want to mingle with the locals and learn about the culture instead of doing what tourists do, lay on the beach and go shopping.

Michu Picchu, Peru. The "lost city" of the Incas.
To explore the “lost city” of the Incas

I have to laugh a little because two years ago, before I even graduated with my Bachelor’s, I was already looking for jobs outside the U.S.. At the time, all I was thinking was getting the hell away from my mom because she wasn’t as tolerable as she had been these past months. Anyway, I showed her the list of location I want to apply and she was like, “you can’t go there. It’s too dangerous. No, you can’t go there either, living is too expensive there.”

Basically, the only places she approved were China and U.K. because she’s got a friend there and told me I could bunk with her friend and her husband. Okay, that would be the last thing I want, have another reminder of home. She also urged me to go down under since she’s got a friend whose son goes to college there. Again, no.

That’s why I choose South America and parts of Asia as my dream destination for if I ever have enough fund to travel. To places of the curious minds and places my mom and her friends would never go.

All images credit goes to pinterest

Off to a Painful Start

Published on by Yinglan10 Comments

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Well, technically, it’s still eve here in the U.S.. In China, it’s Chinese New Year. This year is the year of the goat and I was born in the year of goat. As I mentioned in previous posts, my mom said I’m bound to be unlucky this year and guess what, I’m off to a painful start already. This morning, I was woke by a sharp pain in my back. Not again! Continue reading “Off to a Painful Start” →

An alternative to the Water Cooler

Published on by Yinglan4 Comments

DSCF9709

I would love to un-invent the water cooler. It had turned my life upside down ever since my mom bought it a year ago. Every two weeks, I have to go to the local supermarket to pump 5 gallons of water, $0.41 a gallon. Do you have any idea how heavy water is? I almost always end up bumping my bad knee against the shopping cart when I’m trying lift this thing to place inside the cart. Oh and don’t forgot about the possibility of tipping over on the car ride home even after I strapped it onto the backseat.

Having a water cooler also means my drinking water supply had been limited. Before when we’re still buying the filter for the refrigerator, I can fill my bottle water whenever I want. You see, I don’t want to go up and down the stairs to get water. I like to have drinkable water in my room.

However, the filter for the refrigerator is more expensive than what we have now, supermarket drinking water. So that’s all the more reason why this thing needs to un-invented. It had caused me to have to resort to filling my water at the school fountain even now that my aunt and cousin had left.

Trust me, when they’re here, 5-gallons of water would be gone in 2-days without me and mom hardly drinking any of it. They like the hot water function and are so accustomed to drinking hot water since tap water in China is just a big fat joke and everything needs to be boiled before it can be drunk. When they were going to community school here, they’d take 3 large liter-bottles to school each day since the fountain water is too cold for them.

Now that they’ve left, we once again have the water supply to ourselves and so far, it’s been more than a week and only half of bottle has been drunk. I will have to go fill a new bottle on Friday though since the pharmacy’s next door to the market and I don’t want run twice.

As for the consequences of un-inventing the water cooler, perhaps, companies and businesses can put out bottles of water or put a refrigerator with filtered water function in the break room. There problem solved.

Oh by the way, for those of you who are curious why we don’t drink tap water either is because the water here come from snow melt and as it make its way down the mountain, it collect too much mineral and sediment like Calcium. Calcium is good to build strong bones but too much will lead to kidney stones and that’s yikes.

Frightening, Unrealistic, Ridiculous

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Daily Prompt: You’ve being exiled to a private island, and your captors will only supply you with five foods. What do you pick? Continue reading “Frightening, Unrealistic, Ridiculous” →

This can be Fun

Published on by Yinglan14 Comments

I have been working on my System Understanding Aid (SUA) project for my online accounting class. Trust me, it’s very messy. I invaded the kitchen counter the entire day yesterday, scattering the paper in that red paper bag you see on top. I brought it up to my room in the late afternoon because I just couldn’t take it anymore, I need to see the hints. Last night, my bed was all scattered with papers. I didn’t even bother to organize it. I was so tired. I just stuffed everything inside everything and transferred it back to my desk.

My mom is in the same class as me and this project is due in two days. She wanted to help but let’s face it, she’ll just get in my way. She hadn’t taken enough classes to know what to do for this project. I think if she’s taking this class alone, she’d probably fail.

But it is always helpful to have an extra set of hands and minds on this project. So if I have an extra me, I’d definitely split the responsibility on this project. One of me can be in charge of entering numbers into the spreadsheet while the other me will be working on the paper-end of the project. The best part? I don’t teach everything to my clone! Because well, we think the same, we act the same, what can be more awesome.

Although this can happen…

The Wedding Bells Part 14 (Flash Fiction Chain #6)

Published on by Yinglan34 Comments

Flash fiction chain #6

Jithin, PhoTrablogger, the host of Flash Fiction Chain, had decided to continue the previous flash fiction chain due to an inconclusive ending. The following parts are inspired by the above image. Continue reading “The Wedding Bells Part 14 (Flash Fiction Chain #6)” →

Doubt

Published on by YinglanLeave a comment

So I am just now getting home after spending the past 5 hours touring and learning about a CPA firm. I must admit, I had an interesting time. I didn’t think I’d have a good time talking to people. I thought I’d get bored very quickly. But I got to learn about all the different aspects of working in public accounting as well as go into detail of what an accountant actually do. Continue reading “Doubt” →

Favorite Inventions

Published on by Yinglan2 Comments

“That’s the best thing since sliced bread!” I’ve been wondering what this phrase mean all morning. I have never heard this phrase before, how interesting. In the end, I managed to google it and found a site that will explain the phrase to people like me.

I grew up in the 90’s and surprisingly, I didn’t start to use a computer until the early 2000’s. Before that, it was just my cousin who knew how to use the computer, not me. In my mind, I’d thought it was a complicated object that hardly serve a purpose. I mean, the internet took forever to connect (dial-up) and once it got connected, there’s a timer limiting our access plus, we can’t use the phone while we surfed the web.

It wasn’t until the DSL age and my school started to grow dependent on the computer that I finally discovered its true use of a computer and I have to say, it is the best thing since sliced bread.

Another thing that I think it’s the best thing since sliced bread is the e-reader. I hated reading books. For one thing, my hands sweat a lot and make the books wet and the other down thing about reading a hard copy is that I need light. There is no way I can read anything in the dark.

Well, now I can. I have a kindle app on my tablet and it provides all the light I need to do some light reading before bed without the need to stumble to switch off the light.

Anyway, those are my two favorite inventions. My other favorite invention that no one uses anymore is the VCR. It helped me to record so much of my favorite shows.

Collection

Published on by Yinglan5 Comments

Daily Prompt: Dig through your couch cushions, your purse, or the floor of your car and look at the year printed on the first coin you find. What were you doing that year?

Okay, that will be a problem for me because first of all, my mom and I, we don’t put or hide coin anywhere and we certainly don’t keep coins in our pockets. We keep them in our wallet where they belong but even then I don’t have a lot of coins. I keep mostly bus tokens in my wallet, though I don’t know why, I have a pass that will allow me to ride whatever I want for free.

So therefore, I’m going to show you these…

DSCF9698

I am almost finish collecting the third set, just need Mississippi. I began collecting state quarters in I think 2003 (it seems like every interesting thing happen that year). I have no clue what got me interested, maybe I just like collecting money. :p

When we were still living in California, my mom and I used to go to the recycling center all the time, to sell plastic bottles and soda cans. Then we would tell the guy to give us quarters which he happily gave us, chunks of quarters at a time.

Once we arrive home, I’d go excitedly to the dining table to find if there was any quarters that I did not have already. The unwanted quarter would be for my mom to do laundry.

At first, it was easy because well, I’m new and I haven’t collected up to the current year yet. After a while, it got tough but I didn’t give up. The most frustrating period of this collection was when we were living in Texas when my step-dad would secretly take my state quarters to buy alcohol and cigarettes while I was asleep. See, that’s why I wanted to lock my door.

I stopped for a while because what’s the point if I collect one and you take one? I began again when I moved to Utah but in the last few years, I’ve slowed down a lot since both my mom and I don’t really use cash anymore unless it’s an emergency and we no longer need quarters to do laundry. So now I’ve fallen quite behind on my national parks and monuments collection and I need to catch up.

Well, I have to head to school. I actually got up early again this morning. I thought this problematic prompt  was interesting and knew I could squeeze a few minutes of my time before school to write this.

This takes me back…

Published on by Yinglan3 Comments

My step-dad was always big on music. I think me learning the piano was probably the proudest moment of his life. Continue reading “This takes me back…” →

A Great Day

Published on by Yinglan10 Comments

What a great day today! That was my first thought when I woke up this morning. Today is one of those rare days when I got up early which was at 6:15 am.

The moment my eyes opened, I knew I was alone, that my mom had already gone to work and there was no one else in this big empty house. I can do whatever I want. Isn’t that great? Unfortunately, I have homework and work. Ugh, why do these things have to ruin everything? Good thing I don’t have worry about beating everyone to lunch and I might not even have to eat. That’ll really save me a lot of time as I learned last night.

I was so stuffed from the lunch buffet yesterday that I couldn’t eat anything during dinner. So no dinner for me last night and this morning, I just satisfied myself on a cup of Hot Cocoa with Chia Seed and Flaxseed. Plenty healthy.

I am incredibly obsessed with this idea in my head for a novel right now. So that’s probably why my appearance had dwindled here as I’m spending a majority of my free time catching up on my shows and developing this idea on wattpad.

Anyway, I have to get to work on my paper for school. It is so beautiful here this morning. It is as if spring had decided to come early. I just hope the dark clouds will stay away and won’t drop some measly rain in the middle of the day again.

Secretive

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Ah, finally, some peace and quiet. Continue reading “Secretive” →

Excel: Not For Dummies

Published on by Yinglan3 Comments

I don’t claim to know more about Excel than most people. In fact, there are a lot of formulas in that program that I still have no idea how to use and Excel still frustrates me so very much even after so many years of using it.

Yeah, I am not this guy

Last night, I spent two hours helping my mom with her homework or our homework since we are both in the same class but I’ve already finished mine a week ago and she’s just getting started. It is an assignment to create a template for the Statement of Cash Flows using the data from Income Statement and Balance Sheet.

Anyway, her typing was so darn slow and erroneous. It’s like she’s dragging a ton of bricks with her hands while typing. And the way she punches the numbers, it’s like she’s trying to murder the darn thing.

On the other hand, I am never good at explaining things to people. I am always good at hands-on, do it for them or let them follow me while I perform the task myself.

A few times during the night, I asked her. “Maybe I should give you mine and you can study it.” She refused, claiming she will not learn anything if I just gave it to her.

I know she’s right and it’s completely unethical of me. It can even be classified as cheating but I just don’t think I can sit there any longer watching her type the formulas one by one instead of placing the cursor at the bottom right corner of the cell and dragging the formula down. I taught her how to do that but she seems to forget everything once she begins typing again.

At the end of two hours, we are at near completion. We completed the Income Statement, Balance Sheet, and the Other Detail for Statement of Cash Flows. Now all we need is the Statement of Cash Flows which we are set to complete on Monday night. I bet I’ll have some real fun teaching her to use the “if” formula in excel, huh?

An offer I badly want to refuse

Published on by Yinglan7 Comments

In the fall of 2013, my former-boss, Mr. Li came to town. He, his wife, son, and brother-in-law didn’t know a single word in English. They were to enroll at the school I was employing at the time and since my mom and I were the only ones at the school that spoke Chinese and English, we had to helped them to get their son enrolled.

After that, they came to us for everything and I mean everything. We helped them set up and install everything in their rental home from utilities to phone to TV to internet. They even called us once to ask how to eat a pie. They spent a great deal of time over at our place too. Chatting and just about interrupted every aspect of our daily life.

Then he offered me a job. $15 an hour, just interpretation and running, even reimburse for gas in case of travel. At the sound of it, yeah, it sure sounded great but it was an offer I wanted to refuse, horribly. I knew it would be incredibly demanding and with school and work, I don’t have time for other demands. So I refused.

But my mom went on and on about how Mr. Li was handing money to me and how I was so stupid not to take the job and then she called China and made me talk to both of my aunts who too lectured me on my stupidity. It was a never ending battle and it was one I cannot win. I mean three against one, how can I? I had to surrender and take the job.

So I was working two jobs while completing my last few classes at the University. It was ridiculous. During my work time at the school, Mrs. Li would randomly stroll into my classroom and demand I take her shopping. I mean didn’t she see me working?

After school, I was a tutor for another student and my mom was to provide additional help to Mr. Li’s son but eventually that turned into my job too.

That period, September 2013 to March 2014, was most likely the hardest time of my life. I worked three, sometimes four jobs while squeezing time in between to catch up on my homework. I was barely home except for sleeping. It was a wonder how I passed my classes.

These many hands would’ve been so helpful at the time

The thing is, when I first met Mr. Li, I kind of knew he wasn’t the kind of person I want to associated with. I guess I just have the ability of reading people, to know whether they can be trusted and whether it will be good to be associated with them.

Of course, Mr. Li is trustworthy. Unfortunately, he’s not association-worthy and as usual, my mom ignored my suggestion and as usual, I was completely right.

Because Mr. Li came here on a business visa, he had to gather enough employees to keep his visa. So he dragged my mom down too, made her his employee and handed her a couple of paychecks. Now, it’s tax time and she is in trouble. Because of the extra income from Mr. Li, she now has more taxes to pay. I do too because of Mr. Li’s unethical practices. He claims he’s helping me but in fact he’s hurting me.

And our W-2s still hadn’t arrive and Mr. Li is nowhere to be found. So is it too late to rub it in her face and say I told you so?

Better Together

Published on by Yinglan5 Comments

Daily Prompt: If you had to choose between being able to write a blog (but not read others’) and being able to read others’ blogs (but not write your own), which would you pick? Why?

It’s either or? What?!!! What about both?

If don’t read other’s blogs, where else do I find inspiration? I would probably run out of things to write extremely quickly. On the other hand, if I can only read other’s blogs, I would be compelled to write my own because of all the little ideas that will start to pop in my head.

With this many ideas, the bulbs will probably flicker on and off all the time. I might even go crazy.

In fact, that’s why I wanted to write my own blogs in the first place. I bought a kindle with the hotel points my mom had saved up from her trips and began reading. I can’t remember how many books I’ve read before those tiny speck of ideas fill up my head and almost caused me to burst.

But if that’s how you want to play it, I’d say I would choose to read other’s blogs. So what if I can’t write my own blog, I will just write something else, on Word, maybe. It isn’t necessary that I have to write a blog, I just write it to gain attention, to have an audience. I will be either way. I can still read other blogs to gather inspiration. Who knows, I might even write a book. Either way, I don’t think it’s even possible to choose between reading and writing. Those two things are just…

Blogging 201: Set Three Goals

Published on by Yinglan7 Comments

I think I should probably say, “Happy 2-year Anniversary!” to this little growing blog of mine. Yup, it was on February 3, 2013 I wrote my first post on here. I think I’ve mentioned this before. Continue reading “Blogging 201: Set Three Goals” →

The Existence of this Colorful World

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Daily Prompt: You have three hundred words to justify the existence of your favorite person, place, or thing. Failure to convince will result in it vanishing without a trace. Go!

Okay, so last week, I finally finished reading “The Giver” by Lois Lowry. It took me almost three weeks of starting and stopping reading but I finished it. I must admit though, it wasn’t as exciting as the movie but the lesson was well taught. It is about the main character discovering that living in a world of sameness isn’t all that great.

I have to admit, I do see the ups and downs of living in this kind of world where everything is assigned even homes, spouses, and children and everyone is guaranteed a full stomach, clothed, and warm bed.

The downs? No colors and feelings. They simply don’t exist because everyone in the world of sameness was genetically modified to not have those things. Some people for some reason have them though.

I wrote a post I believe last May. When I was writing it, I was sort of complaining about not finding a pretty dress to wear for my Graduation because the colors of my clothes just aren’t really suiting me. So I went on a rant and said I wished our world was lack of color. For one thing, no color means I’ll have an easier time when shopping for clothes. At least I wouldn’t be so torn between choosing from so many different colors.

Anyway, after reading this book, I have come to realize that living in a world of sameness sucks. I mean how can you tell people apart when they are all the same. Sure they don’t look alike but still, no colors, no feelings? I would rather live in a world with colors and feelings. Even with a little struggle, it’s worth it.

After all, difference is good. It’s beautiful.

The Wedding Bells Part 2 (Flash Fiction Chain #6)

Published on by Yinglan53 Comments

Flash fiction chain #6

I am once again super excited to participate in this Flash Fiction Chain hosted by Jithin of PhoTrablogger. The following parts are inspired by the above image. Continue reading “The Wedding Bells Part 2 (Flash Fiction Chain #6)” →

Teacher’s Pets

Published on by Yinglan12 Comments

I used to be a teacher’s pet with my group of so-call friends back in 6th and 7th grade. Almost everyday at lunch, we’d go chat with our teacher like friends. Then after school, we’d go again to help clean the boards and tidy up the classroom. But then we sort of went our separate ways during 8th grade. Continue reading “Teacher’s Pets” →

Optimism Backfired

Published on by Yinglan5 Comments

Daily Prompt: Tell us how your week went by putting together a playlist of  five songs that represent it.

Five songs? I can’t possibly put together a playlist that represented how my week went. One reason being I do not know a song that truly describes everyday of my week. The other is that I feel terribly embarrassed when it comes to sharing the books I am reading, the baby-oopsshows I watch, and the music I like. I’m afraid that if people know I still watch Disney Channel and listen to Disney Kids music (oops), they would laugh at me. Unfortunately, I’ve been watching the mouse network and listening to its music since I’ve arrived in America and I am not going to stop anytime soon.

Anyway, my week had been a total roller coaster, I think. I can’t remember most of it. I remember yesterday though and boy, was I pissed! My mom was urging me to finish the case briefs (which I’ve been doing all week) on the one hand while whining about her job order on the other. I mean how can I possibly concentrate with someone constant shouting and barging in and out my room?

Early yesterday morning, she went to the school to take the first exam for her class. She didn’t come back until around 2 hours later and the second she stepped through the door, she immediately started complaining about the air force dentist extracting two of her molars.

“I didn’t know you were going to the dentist.” I said to her.

“No!” She answered exasperatedly. It turned out her status had been downgrade the day before.  She’s in military, you see. Apparently when you’re downgraded, it meant your job was in trouble.

So in order for her to keep her job, she had to get two of her molars extracted at the last second. Ouch!

She told me her molars were rotten, that it was blacker than a plum when they pulled it. Her words, not mine.

The entire afternoon, she was complaining about her toothache. I got to the point that I was so darn frustrated at the sound of her and anyone’s voice. I just want to scream.

Then last night, we attended our last instructor-led training for VITA before I’m set to volunteer next week or maybe even the week after. This morning, we finally got certified to file people’s taxes! I’m so excited!

Oh, I think the biggest thing this week would be today, I have decided to drop my Business Law class. I just cannot handle it. There are just too much homework and with work and volunteering, it’s too overwhelming for me. Also, the teacher is kind of ridiculous. It takes him like a month to answer a single email. And I don’t even think he grade any of my homework!

Yesterday, I got my grade back for my last assignment, he gave me a 50! He said it’s because my assignment had 55% similar when it fact it’s only 16% similar. He looked at my first submission instead of my third. So last night, while I was sleeping restlessly, tossing around thinking of the pile of work I have to do today and I decided. I cannot do it any longer. This simply cannot go on any longer. It’s not really like me but I am giving up.

Two weeks ago, my mom had already asked me to drop and get a full refund but I was too darn optimistic that the class will only get better. Now, I can only get 80% of my money back. Oh well, it’s better than nothing. Ugh, sometimes, I really hate my optimistic spirit.

Oh, and since this prompt is about sharing music, I thought I’d this old favorite of mine. Actually, it’s not that old, I just haven’t listen to it for a long while. Embarrassingly, I have to say it’s teen music, Disney, and kind of hip pop but it’s a positive track unlike most of the music nowadays.

I thought to relive a little of my old simple life, back when I still lived in an apartment and something isn’t constantly needing fixing.  As for school, maybe after I dropped my Business Law class, it will free up my time just a little. Then my other classes won’t feel so neglected anymore. I will just have to try again in the fall. I guess just keep moving forward.

Don’t Let it Burn

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Daily Prompt: Your home is on fire. Grab five items (assume all people and animals are safe). What did you grab?

First of all, if my home is really on fire, my mom has better not be home but does it really matter? She will kill me either way. But I would really prefer if she’s not here during the fire though. She doesn’t handle these kind of situations well.

Second of all, really? Just five items?

This prompt is terrible for sentimental people like me. I hate to lose anything. Five items all not that much anyway. I mean, two laptops with chargers, an external hard drive, my tablet and charger, and my iPod, that’s five. I won’t even have room for clothes and it is quite difficult to find clothes that actually fit me these days. Also, what about that huuuge container of pictures? They are irreplaceable.

Hmm, gotta think of something.

Ah, I know. What if I have one of rollie containers things like cooler with wheels except it’s just a large container box? Then I would just throw in all the things I treasure most at the last second and wheel out with that big box of pictures, my clothes, my pillow, and my blanket. I can say, I can’t live any of those thing, let’s just say.

Publish or Unpublish?

Published on by Yinglan7 Comments

Okay, you know I’m not the kind of person to invent anything. In fact, I can’t even invent a cool character name or a cool setting for my stories. So for this I am not going to invent a word off the top of my head. Instead, I am going to tell a story about work that really annoys me (at times). Continue reading “Publish or Unpublish?” →