What did I do to get on the wrong side of the world? Why did the world had chosen me as its victim to be bullied? What do I have to do to make my world stand up straight again? Continue reading “Against the World”
Tag: Frustration
Just need you to know…
Do you remember when I told you about getting bad luck in your zodiac year? Of course not, I don’t even remember. All I know is people tend to be unlucky in their zodiac year. Why am I telling you this? Because my bad luck surfaced. I was born in the year of the sheep and 2015 was the year of sheep and it will remain the year of the sheep until February 8, 2016 or Chinese New Year, 2016.
Anyway, I thought I would make it through the entire year without much bad luck then today, February 2, 2016, the worse of the worst luck appeared. 
I was in my marketing class using my tablet to look up something on Google when the screen suddenly went black. At first, it scared me to death. What’s happening? Oh no, don’t die on me? Those were my initial thoughts.
I pressed the power button and it seemed to be starting back up. I was a little relieved until a few minutes later when I noticed the screen was stuck on the logo. In that instant, I could felt my hands trembling and heart threatening to jump out of my chest. I tried to be as calm as I could so my instructor wouldn’t notice. It was difficult but I think I succeeded.
I don’t handle these situations well. You can tell by my speech in this post that I’m still overwhelmed by the anxiety. I’m not sure if it will ever stop at least until I have my tablet back safe and sound and working properly again.
I had this tablet since February 13, 2013, ten days after I began blogging, by the way, it’s the third anniversary of this blog tomorrow. At first, I mostly just use it to play The Sims, check emails, and take notes for classes and then later, I began posting pictures to Instagram and so on. I loved this tablet, still do. It’s like a baby to me.
Last October, a week before my Chicago trip, I changed the battery so it will last more than 4 hours each charge. It was November when I noticed the clock on the tablet had stopped working. I mean, the time would not change until I turned off and turn on the tablet again.
I had a hunch that I should have reset the device to factory specification but I didn’t want to. Really, who wants to wipe everything and download them again? I sure don’t. I did that once with my 6-years-old laptop 4 years ago. It was not fun but then again, I think if I did that, then my bad luck might have been inverted today.
Anyway, after school, I immediately drove to work and had my genius tech friend diagnose the problem. He can fix just about everything electronic except TV, printers, and computers. After running several tests, he determined my darling tablet has a bad charge port and probably some software issue. A factory reset is currently on hold until the charge port comes in since the tablet must connect to the computer in order to reset. I told him I haven’t been able to do that for two years and I should’ve realized that I have a defective charge port. I just hope a factory reset will solve the problem.
I just got home moments ago after making sure my dear tablet is safe and sound at work but as I pulled my car into the garage, I suddenly realized how much I miss it already and just how many things I have grown dependent on it to do like editing pictures, playing Sudoku, posting to Instagram, and making phone calls. Therefore, over the next week or so, I may be slow at replying to your comments and I will not be able to post to my Instagram account. I just want you all to know. So please be patient.
Curse my bad luck!
What am I?
So far I’ve read quite a few responses to today’s daily prompt and learned a lot about my fellow bloggers’ detailed family lineages and quite frankly, I know almost nothing of my own. Continue reading “What am I?”
Bye Bye 2015!
Oh my, is it New Year’s Eve already? Where has the time gone? Where has my winter break gone? Continue reading “Bye Bye 2015!”
Set Three Goals
I did Blogging 201 in February of 2015. I didn’t really need it at the time but what the heck, I could use some advice. However, I think I am taking this course now to help me grow this blog and it will give me a chance to learn about more ways to beautify this blog. Continue reading “Set Three Goals”
What if…
I’ve been feeling very pessimistic lately. I have tried summoning my sun-shiny optimistic self but failed in the process. Continue reading “What if…”
Reflection on the Week
Well, Friday, finally. This week’s been weird and busy. Continue reading “Reflection on the Week”
It’s going to be okay
Speaking of my trip to Chicago at the end of this month, I am so excited. I can hardly wait but at the same time, I am nervous and scared. Continue reading “It’s going to be okay”
Creative, not Technical
Okay, I officially admit it, blogging and writing fiction has made me a creative writer, not a technical writer. Continue reading “Creative, not Technical”
October so far…
So, we’re already a week into October. Continue reading “October so far…”
The Difference Between…
I have been called stubborn by multiple individuals with my mom and her friends occupying about 85% of those individuals. Sometimes it’s a compliment while sometimes, it’s just plain mean because they are using the word out of context. Continue reading “The Difference Between…”
So Now What?
So I spent about 4 hours in a cubicle yesterday, taking the GMAT, and I did Continue reading “So Now What?”
The Day Before…
So today is the day before my Continue reading “The Day Before…”
#AtoZChallenge – E for Excessive Control
Thanks to my mother, I just got home from a crappy exam and oh look, the light on the answering machine is blinking. I pressed play and guess what, it’s mom calling home to check on me. Continue reading “#AtoZChallenge – E for Excessive Control”
Mental Note
All day today, I’ve been thinking of how I missed doing the prompt two days in a row. I blame my stubborn self for that because until I finish my homework, I cannot think about anything else. Well, just now, I completed one of my homework assignments. I still have to study for the two exams I have to take tomorrow but apparently I cannot do that.
One of the major downside of being in the same program as my mother is being in the same class together. I’ve been spoiling her for the majority of the semester, doing her homework all because I fell for her excuses over and over. Oh, I’m so busy. Oh I paid for your this and that. Oh I’m old. I helped you, didn’t I?
(Sigh) I told myself over and over, stop falling for them but every time she uses those excuses, it just makes me feel guilty and hence, rendering me speechless. I guess that’s what mothers do, send their children on a guilt trip to make them do their bidding.
This morning, I gave her a quick overview of the assignment and told her to do it on her own. I am not even sure if she was fully listening when I explained it to her or was she thinking about money again. I even told her, “if you don’t understand, watch the instructor’s video.”
Her answer was, “It will be quicker if you did it first.”
Of course it will be because then all she had to do would be to copy it. So here’s what I wrote for my mental note. Can I stick to it? We’ll see.
#AtoZChallenge – D for Deadlines
This weekend’s going to be hectic once again. It doesn’t matter that it’s Easter, exams and homework wait for no one. Continue reading “#AtoZChallenge – D for Deadlines”
A Tale of Two Roommates
Head throbbing, throat aching, voice going coarse, and my bottle of anger is full again.
My weekend was crappy, worse than usual but I’m not going to complain. I’m going to let it out another way, a story. I’ve weaved my crappy weekend into a tale between two roommates, Leslie and Sarah. First, I should apologize for this incredibly long post (I can’t help it) but anyway, enjoy the dramatic tale. 🙂
Leslie sat before her computer on a Saturday morning, studying for an afternoon exam. After more than 6 months, she still hadn’t adjusted to fact that she had to find her own time to complete the exams for her classes. At least this one’s open-book, open-notes, she thought happily. She wouldn’t had to go through the tedious process of making a half-page note-card.
By noon, her stomach was growling. She often skips breakfast to save time on studying. So she quickly went to the pantry, pulled a ramen from a plastic bag with her name on it, and popped it into a bowl. She dumped the tiny bag of soup mix, added the water, and popped it into the microwave. By the time she finished with her ramen, she heard a click of the locks. Sarah was home.
“Hey, Les, can you help me with these groceries?” Sarah was carrying at least six bags of food.
Leslie took four bags and hurried to the kitchen. “What are you trying to do? Feed an army?” She dropped the bags on the counter.
“They’re for both of us, duh.” Even then, it would be too much. Leslie went to the sink and clean up while Sarah put her purse on the chair. “Listen, I need your help with something.”
“What?” Leslie asked as she wiped her hands dry.
“I have this paper due Monday and I’m wondering if you can help me since, well, your writing is better mine.”
“What is it on?” Leslie asked quickly.
“It’s a research paper, 6-9 pages. I don’t know what’s on yet. The instructor wasn’t clear.”
“Well, you’ll have to wait. I have to go take the exam.”
“Then go,” Sarah replied. “We can talk about it when you get home.”
Three hours later, Leslie finally came home. The exam took much longer than she had thought. It was 24 questions on 30 pages and each question took forever to complete. Tired but still full of energy, she knocked on Sarah’s door and almost instantly, Sarah wrenched the door open, shoving a paper in Leslie’s face.
“You see this?” Sarah shrieked. Leslie grabbed the paper and looked at it carefully. It was the rubric for the assignment. “It makes completely no sense! He doesn’t explain anything. He just gives the assignment and expects us to understand it at a snap of a finger.”
“The paper said to pick four or more variables affecting the operating environment. What kind of operating environment?” Sarah led her to her laptop sitting on the desk and showed her a PowerPoint presentation on Argentina. “What does Argentina have to do with anything?”
“He assigns us each a country and we’re supposed to apply the variables.”
Leslie frowned. “I don’t know. What do you want me to do exactly?” Sarah handed her an index card. On it are the words, “political, military, economics, social, information, infrastructure.”
“These are the things I need you to research and write about. I will write the rest.” She switched the screen to a word document. “It’s all formatted. All you have to do is fill in the information.”
By then, Leslie only vaguely understood the assignment. “And why can’t you do this yourself?”
“Do I look like I have the time to do both?” Sarah snapped and Leslie threw her hands up and retreated to her room. “I want this done by tomorrow.” Sarah called as Leslie shut the door to her bedroom, she leaned against the door for a minute and sighed.
Sarah always does this, wait until the last minute and just snaps her fingers. Just like that, Leslie to the rescue. She was like one of those nerds that does bully’s homework. Leslie went to her computer and opened the file Sarah had just sent her over dropbox.
That night, to decompress from the long exam, Leslie decided to watch a few shows on TV. She’s already had two pages completed. Lounging on the living room couch, Sarah joined her. “So, roomie, have you completed my paper yet?”
“Not yet, almost though.” Leslie replied.
“May I make some suggestions though?” Leslie nodded. “Focus more on how each variable affect the environment.” Leslie wasn’t exactly listening but Sarah kept blathering on. If you want me to do your assignment, don’t tell me what to write. I have my own methods. She thought.
Leslie screamed when she opened her eyes the next morning to find Sarah hovering above her. “What are you doing?”
“It’s 8, time to get up.” Leslie glanced over at her alarm clock, it was only 7:30. She moaned and sank her head back on her pillow. “Come on, Les, I want it done by 10 am. You do want to have time to do you own thing, don’t you?”
She went to the window and opened the blinds, the light streaming into the room made Leslie shrank and curled. Leslie groaned. “Fine, I’m up!” Leslie stumbled out of bed over to her computer. She yawned and clicked open the file. It looked like Sarah had updated it, she added a few more sections and miraculously, it was completed.
Groggily, she made her way to the kitchen to scour the fridge for breakfast. She settled with a yogurt and ate it over the sink, her head was still throbbing from the blast of sunlight. She stumbled back into her room and sat before the computer, the words blurred and the more she read, the more it was becoming more puzzling.
“Is it done yet?” Leslie jumped, suddenly realizing Sarah was behind her. Had she been watching me this whole time? Leslie wondered. This was beginning to feel like Sarah’s got a gun to her head forcing her to write.
“Almost.” Leslie answered.
“Almost?!” Sarah shrieked. “It’s been two hours!”
Leslie rubbed her temples and said tiredly. “I’m doing the best I can. It’s not that easy, you know.”
“Hurry up,” Sarah snapped. “I’ve been waiting on you all morning and you can’t even write two paragraphs? I am way faster than that.”
Leslie bolted up, “Fine, then write it yourself. I’m tired of your bossing around. My head hurts, I’m not in the mood.”
“Fine!” Sarah screamed. “I don’t need your help. I will write it myself.”
“Fine!” Leslie shouted back and pushed Sarah from her room and locked her room. They didn’t exchange a single word the remainder of the day. Leslie worked on her own homework. Now and then, she could hear Sarah rehearsing in her room, always the same line and this is how their story ends (for now) because do stories ever end?
Skeptical
Skeptical. I think that’s the word I’ll use to describe my feeling at the moment.
Two days ago, a technician came and “fixed” the internet. Technically, he didn’t really fix the internet. All he did was switching the router. He did fix the speed on the wifi. It turned out the new router was a piece of junk and I may have discovered my room was a blind spot in the whole house. After he swapped the router though, the speed became normal again, for about 5 minutes. After he left, I tested again and would you look at that, it went back to as slow as before but only on my new computer. I don’t know why. My old computer and tablet performed just fine.
For the past two days, I had been holding my breath, waiting for everything to resume to normal, for the internet to go back up but it never did. Switching the routers might be the worst thing I’ve ever done. Now, not only the download speed is still not back up to the speed that I was getting before but the wifi on my old computer won’t stay connected for less than 5 minutes. It is like a time-bomb about to go off any second and it’s completely and utterly frustrating.
A few minutes ago, my mom was complaining again how the phone line went dead after 5 minutes. She was trying to call my aunt in China. I asked if she wanted me to change back to our old G router, it seemed to be the only router that’s ever worked. It only irritated her even more. After the line’s connected again, she immediately told my aunt how unwilling to work I was, that I rather watch TV last night than perform the big switch on the router.
Yes, I do prefer watching TV at night because I don’t perform well at night when the lighting’s not adequate. Working at night would just amplify my frustration when something goes wrong.
So the internet is definitely slow now, there’s not denying it now. She wants me to do the switch tonight when I want to relax after a day of work. I’m very afraid because if something goes wrong, I might be drowning myself in tears in my sleep tonight. Wish me luck.
Daily Prompt – Twenty Five – Didn’t use the letter “z”, my favorite letter.
Things happen for a reason
So yesterday, I swapped my G router for a N router because I was tired of the internet signal always just barely reaching my room. Continue reading “Things happen for a reason”
Reflecting Current Moment
I was going to do this later but my mom’s been talking so much that I couldn’t concentrate on my studying. I want to take this exam today so I won’t have to worry about it and enjoy my spring break. Apparently either my mom thought I’m just using studying as an excuse or she doesn’t care whether I pass this test or not because there she was, calling me every five seconds, asking me stupid questions. Anyway, she’s gone now but I’m already distracted so I might as well do something that’ll help simmer down my anger.
Today’s prompt reads,
What would you put in this year’s time capsule to channel the essence of our current moment for future generations?
Thank god I’ve been watching television otherwise, I would have no idea what a time capsule is. It won’t matter anyway because I won’t have a clue what to put in it to reflect the current moment. I don’t keep up with the trends and I haven’t watched the news for a long time. There hasn’t been any news worthy to watch, the headlines are always the same. Only my mom watches the news because she claims news anchors are the only people that speaks proper English. They enunciate each word clearly, I give her that but other than that, I doubt there’s such thing as proper English.
I am rambling…
Okay, I’m no expert on this time capsule thing but if I have to put something to “channel the essence of our current moment for future generations”, I would definitely put a phone in there (smartphone or iPhone) and a picture of people texting and tweeting everywhere. Their eyes wouldn’t leave the screen. I think this would be a good picture to reflect on the current moment (cellphone addiction). It’s too bad I don’t do because I don’t have that kind of phone and I hate texting.
Not a good title
I have a lot of favorite bloggers, not just one. I won’t imitate someone. It’s both creepy and weird which it’s exactly the words to describe today’s prompt. I remember when my “friend” used to imitate my voice and action when she came to my apartment for tutoring after school. I hated it. It’s like I know I’m childish and immature, you don’t have to let me know like that.
It took all my strength to not get mad and whine (back then I whined). I didn’t know. Apparently, my ears play tricks on me, it sort of tunes my voice to make it sound a little more mature. I recorded my voice once and played it back, I sounded like a baby.
Speaking of ears and voice, my ear-buds decided to quit working today. Right after my last class, I stuck the ear-buds into my ears and the sound was uneven, like one was hogging all the sound. It was a new situation but not good. It was like hearing the music but no one’s singing the lyrics.
I got these last May. I don’t know why, I have the worst luck when it comes to buying ear-buds. I go through at least one pair a year, sometimes two. I only got this pair because I didn’t have any other option, these were the cheapest ones other than the $3 ones which I had to return because it didn’t work.
I don’t really like these. It won’t stay in my ears for very long because the clip makes the wires feel heavier. I always felt like my head is being pulled downward whenever these are in my ears. I guess that’s a design flaw right there. When I got it, it said that the flat wires prevent tangles. I have to give them that but again, the flat wire made it feel way too heavy. So the only time I could actually use the ear-buds was when I’m sitting very still at my desk.
Anyway, I now have to shop for a pair of cheap headphone. I guess this time, I’d be looking for light and for sports. I’m thinking about the ones with the ear-clip. They won’t come cheap, I’ve checked. I guess it’s a good thing it’s a Spring Break which it would give me a week to shop for headphone behind mom’s back. Wish me luck.
Forgotten
May I say I feel a little forgotten and angry at the moment? Continue reading “Forgotten”
An offer I badly want to refuse
In the fall of 2013, my former-boss, Mr. Li came to town. He, his wife, son, and brother-in-law didn’t know a single word in English. They were to enroll at the school I was employing at the time and since my mom and I were the only ones at the school that spoke Chinese and English, we had to helped them to get their son enrolled.
After that, they came to us for everything and I mean everything. We helped them set up and install everything in their rental home from utilities to phone to TV to internet. They even called us once to ask how to eat a pie. They spent a great deal of time over at our place too. Chatting and just about interrupted every aspect of our daily life.
Then he offered me a job. $15 an hour, just interpretation and running, even reimburse for gas in case of travel. At the sound of it, yeah, it sure sounded great but it was an offer I wanted to refuse, horribly. I knew it would be incredibly demanding and with school and work, I don’t have time for other demands. So I refused.
But my mom went on and on about how Mr. Li was handing money to me and how I was so stupid not to take the job and then she called China and made me talk to both of my aunts who too lectured me on my stupidity. It was a never ending battle and it was one I cannot win. I mean three against one, how can I? I had to surrender and take the job.
So I was working two jobs while completing my last few classes at the University. It was ridiculous. During my work time at the school, Mrs. Li would randomly stroll into my classroom and demand I take her shopping. I mean didn’t she see me working?
After school, I was a tutor for another student and my mom was to provide additional help to Mr. Li’s son but eventually that turned into my job too.
That period, September 2013 to March 2014, was most likely the hardest time of my life. I worked three, sometimes four jobs while squeezing time in between to catch up on my homework. I was barely home except for sleeping. It was a wonder how I passed my classes.
The thing is, when I first met Mr. Li, I kind of knew he wasn’t the kind of person I want to associated with. I guess I just have the ability of reading people, to know whether they can be trusted and whether it will be good to be associated with them.
Of course, Mr. Li is trustworthy. Unfortunately, he’s not association-worthy and as usual, my mom ignored my suggestion and as usual, I was completely right.
Because Mr. Li came here on a business visa, he had to gather enough employees to keep his visa. So he dragged my mom down too, made her his employee and handed her a couple of paychecks. Now, it’s tax time and she is in trouble. Because of the extra income from Mr. Li, she now has more taxes to pay. I do too because of Mr. Li’s unethical practices. He claims he’s helping me but in fact he’s hurting me.
And our W-2s still hadn’t arrive and Mr. Li is nowhere to be found. So is it too late to rub it in her face and say I told you so?
This is Another Story 