Waking Up to Irritation


I have been undoubtedly asleep the entire morning. Not physically but mentally. Either that or my brain’s fried. I’ve been in my GMAT class all morning and haven’t been getting a single question right. I got home about two hours ago, made lunch, and drank a cup of green tea. I needed the slight boost of caffeine. About half-way into green tea, aw, it’s like slamming into a wall. My entire upper body itched like crazy and so many other things jolted me at the same time.

Like the fact that mom had been nagging me to charge the camera for the entire week so she could take it to training this weekend and I’m just now realizing she had forgotten it.

And it also hit me that today is somewhat of a significant day. It is exactly 9 years since my father’s passing. Mom told me two days ago, June 4, while she was noting that it was the anniversary of the student protest at Tiananmen Square.

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This was how the sky looked about 1 hour ago, right before it started hailing and raining, right before I was interrupted by a loud bang at the front door. I was surprised I heard that despite the hail. I opened up and saw a half-naked man demanding money. “What for?” I asked.

It turned out he was the shady handyman mom hired to fix the spouts for the rental property. He wanted $169. I looked outside, it was pouring. “Does it have to be right now?” I asked, realized immediately I had just asked the stupidest question ever. That question is like asking the cashier at the grocery store’s check-out counter if I can pay later. Inside though, my anxiety was building up and I don’t do well under pressure. My heart pounded as my thoughts hurled at me at 100 mph. Is this guy serious? He could’ve done it all afternoon and he chose now? “Can I write you a check?” I proceeded.

“No, I need cash, like now.” He answered. I don’t have $169 on me. I gave $200 to mom a few days ago to fix something else and I remember mom telling me someone’s going to do some work today but she didn’t say anything about paying. Have I been scammed? Please don’t tell me I’ve been lied to. I’m not in the mood for craps.

So I got in the car and drove to the ATM machine to get $200 out of my account. The inside of the car got completely wet as I was trying to working the damn machine and I hate getting wet. Then, instead of coming home to do the transaction, he insisted we do it right then and there in the pouring rain. I was super irritated but consider I’m a tolerable person, I didn’t go off on a temper tantrum. We just exchanged bills and receipts and I drove home. I just hope I didn’t do anything wrong.

Great, now I have to do this in two posts because it’s too long. Oh well, the more the merrier. Read the next post! It’s a lovely story related to the apocalypse (my own experience).

An hour later, I texted mom and told her. She texted back, “Do Not Pay.” Instantly, I knew I fell for one of those things she expects me to do even without told. You know, I’m not a mind-reader. I don’t know your expectations. When a half-naked man is standing outside my door demanding money, what am I really supposed to do?

Minutes later, she sent another text, “Tell him to call me.”

Um, okay. So I called the shady handyman who answered the phone blasting me with a creative bunch of swear words. I told him who I was and that my mom wanted to talk to him. He cursed some more and hung up.

I ended up calling mom, told her what happened and got a big fat lecture, calling me stupid, blah blah blah. I swear, at that moment, stuck in the middle, dealing with both of them, I wanted to cry, to run away, to drown myself, something. I don’t want to deal with this. This is scary and crazy and suddenly feel regret of not sticking to my original day plan. My day plan was I was going to spend the afternoon downtown. I think if I did that, none of this would’d happened.

I’m scare for what will happen tomorrow and I don’t want to find out.

Spread the Love of Blogging


I was tagged by Francesca Smith of A Smith’s World a couple of days ago for the Share the Love Challenge but as always, procrastination takes over but since it’s on my mind right this second, I’m doing it.

Continue reading “Spread the Love of Blogging”

First Attempt at B&W Plus Updates


wpid-20150603_142307.jpgI have been mostly restricted to fiction this week. If you haven’t notice, I’ve been posting nothing but fiction in the last three days. What can I say, I don’t feel like write anything when I feel like crap and yes, I still do but I seem to be just a tiny bit better this morning after mom pushed open my door at 7 am this morning and woke me in a panic for no reason at all except telling me to get to work. She’s gone for the day though, finally, taking a language exam 50 miles away.

I’m so looking forward to this weekend. She will be gone for training and I’ll have the house to myself for the weekend.

Back to feeling like crap, I think I’m having some health issues. That won’t be the first. I don’t want to see a doctor either. All the doctors I’ve been to offer no sympathy whatsoever. I know it’s not your job but still, I came to you. I’m in pain. You can’t just tell me it’s psychological and there’s nothing wrong with me. Can’t you at least do some digging?

Okay, here’s my problem. In the last two days, my head’s been hurting and my chest’s been periodically throbbing. I don’t want to think about it since there’s a chance the pain is “psychological” but at the same time, it feels like it’s getting worse. I want so much to complain but I already know what my mom’s going to say. She’ll either place a large bottle of 600 mg Ibuprofen before me or we’ll bicker.

I couldn’t take it any longer so the other night, I mentioned my discomfort while preparing dinner the other night and we’d just ended up bickering. “It’s all your fault for not drying your hair before heading to bed.” Mom said.

I was, as always, in no mood to bicker and I never went to bed with my hair wet. I always wait until it’s dried before sleeping. “I don’t do that,” I defended.

“If you do that for too many times, it’s bound to happen.” Why do I even make the effort? It’s like talking to a stone.

“Haven’t you been listening to me? I. Don’t. Do. That.” I said through my clenched teeth. There’s no point, my inner voice told me. You’re a minute too late, I snapped.

“I’ve watched you, I’ve seen you do it.” Yeah, like a few months or a few years ago. I didn’t answer. I regret to even brought it up. Forget it.

Aside from that little bicker, so many things had happened this week like I’ve found out a literary magazine HQ in Atlanta is looking for submissions. I have a story for the December issue but I’m afraid it might be too bleak. Should I go for it? I don’t want people to read the story around Christmas and burst in tears. I probably should send another one, huh, one that would cheer people, not make them cry.

I’m going out to work today. This will be the second time this week. I went on Monday and it turned out I couldn’t do much. My boss broke his pinkie last week tripping on a broken sprinkler and now he only has a working right hand while his left hand is wrapped elbow-deep in bandages. I hope he’s there because I went yesterday and he wasn’t there. So I ended up having to have to walk back home but I took my sweet time with the walk.

I’ve always enjoyed black and white photography. I just never thought it fit in with the pictures I took but I just have to try it. What do you think?

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Truth, Lies, Assumptions, and Conclusion


Today’s Prompt asks: Is it possible to be too honest, or is honesty always the best policy? Continue reading “Truth, Lies, Assumptions, and Conclusion”

A Change on Perspective


I spent most of yesterday morning in my GMAT class, learning to tackle critical reasoning and math problems. I’m sort of understanding the problem though I’m still pretty rusty. The teacher made it look so easy on the board that it felt like even a three-year-old can do it. So why can’t I? Maybe I’m thinking too complicated. I feel like the problems are designed to teach us to approach it in a simpler manner, like a five-year-old tackles additions and subtractions by counting fingers.

After my GMAT class, I texted my mom who, by the way, was supposed to text me, not the other way around. She was already at my friend’s graduation and had told me to meet her there. She gave me the address but didn’t give me driving directions or when the graduation was supposed to start. Maybe she thought I’ve been to the school and downtown so many times that I’m supposed to know every shortcut to get back on the freeway. Ha ha, I don’t.

Then, just as I need the internet most, I lost it. The moment I stepped into the parking lot, the internet just poof, gone.

So I had to get directions the hard way, by asking around. Thank god, I bumped into the lady that sat next to me in class. She’s awesome at giving direction but since I’m venturing into unknown territory, I was questioning myself and the directions she drew for me the whole way.

Did I make the right turn? Did I miss the freeway entrance? It’s not that far, is it?

Fortunately, I followed her direction and I made it, only made one mistake along the way, getting onto the wrong freeway, actually, it’s the right freeway, just wrong direction.

At last, I arrived after sitting in traffic jam for 10 minutes. Apparently, there was only one road in and out of the arena and drivers in that part of the city happened to be quite unforgiving. They didn’t let me sneak into the lanes at all.

I parked my car somewhere, stomach growling, hand trembling, and feeling quite stuffy. I made my way through the crowd into the arena. From there, I searched for my mom while being shoved by the tens people around me listening to an old man shouting, “First level is full!”

I went up to the second level where I asked an old lady about the main box office. She was like, “What are you talking about?”

“The main box office,” I said louder and slower, enunciating each word as clearly as I could. Thankfully, before I got too frustrated and irritated by the lady’s naggy voice and lazy attitude, I heard a familiar voice behind me. It was my mom, squeezing through the crowd, coming up the stairs. There, she led me to an entrance and together, we descended a set of stairs to our seats.

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The smart person I was, I managed to bring my tablet (camera’s got a dead battery) and captured a few pictures. Not very good mainly because we arrived too late to find any good seats.

It was a little different than mine. For starters, it’s a smaller school so the commencement and convocation had been combined. Secondly, everybody, including the undergraduates sat in the same place. In my graduation, the undergraduates sat in a restricted section of the stands. I think by sitting down there, it kind of give you a sense of importance whereas sitting in the stands just makes you feel like a bystander, sort of like your achievement wasn’t big enough to be recognized.

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The first speaker was the president of the school and what he said at first really moved me. He said something along the line of, a part of your life is over but a new part of your life is just beginning. I kind of felt like that when I took my last final before I graduated last year. I felt like I’ve been waiting so long for this moment and now that it’s come, I wish I could just have one more day of learning.

And as usual, an idea sparked. It’s sort of autobiographical but the idea’s playing in my head like a movie ever since.

I’ve been spending most of the day today writing another story since my current rewrite of my novella has temporarily reached an impasse. I will have dig deeper into my brain to come up with a plot of what happens next.

But yeah, you can say going to my friend’s graduation changed my perspective on somethings, like 180 degrees change.

On My Way to Work


Today’s prompt asks: How do you manage your online privacy? Are there certain things you won’t post in certain places? Information you’ll never share online? Or do you assume information about you is accessible anyway? Continue reading “On My Way to Work”

Nobody’s Perfect


The sun is finally out, so are the planes, but the rain has at last stop, for the week at least. Just in time for my friend’s graduation tomorrow. I don’t know what time or whether I’ll be able to attend with the GMAT workshop but hopefully, I can make it. Continue reading “Nobody’s Perfect”

Dreams and Nightmares


I can say my worst nightmares are failing all my classes and plummeting to my death. Continue reading “Dreams and Nightmares”

Frisbee Mode


It is really not that hard to get me in “the zone” but once I’m in “the zone” Continue reading “Frisbee Mode”

Exhaustion: That’s Life


Daily Prompt: The friendly, English-speaking extraterrestrial you run into outside your house is asking you to recommend the one book, movie, or song that explains what humans are all about. What do you pick? Continue reading “Exhaustion: That’s Life”

Linger over Breakfast


Today’s prompt asks: Tell us about times in which you linger — when you don’t want an event, or a day to end. What is it you love about these times? Why do you wish you could linger forever?

Continue reading “Linger over Breakfast”

Painless


I didn’t think I would write for the prompt today but an old story came up. Continue reading “Painless”

Perchance a Good Dream?


I am an awkward sleeper. Continue reading “Perchance a Good Dream?”

The Wildest Party


As you might have guessed, I have never thrown a party myself.Party

The wildest party I have ever been to was when the class party in 6th grade. So if I am to throw my own party, it might probably be like that. Continue reading “The Wildest Party”

Jealousy 2.0


DSCF9985_20150515092503955I wrote a variation of this prompt exactly one week ago. I said I was jealous enough to start a fight with my friend. Well I’m not going to repeat that one. I’m going to talk of a new jealousy, one that stemmed from my childhood. Yes, I have plenty of jealousy, maybe too much. In fact, my face should be greener than the leaves of the blooming rose bushes outside the bay window in the living room.

I’m not going to write a letter though. Instead, I am just going to say it straight out.

I’m jealous of my friend, Joyce. There, I said it. She has basically everything I have ever wanted and more. She lives in a million-dollar house both here and in China. She gets to spend her dad’s money however she wants. She wants a car, she got it. In one sweep, an imported European car. She wants to go to Japan for the summer, she got it. She wants to go back to China three times a year, she got it.

What did I get? A nagging mother who’s always on my case of how I’ve made countless mistakes. This is life, everyone makes mistakes. I’m not perfect. You don’t have to state the obvious over and over.

So how did her life end up so perfect while mine end up like this?

I asked my mom this question. What does she blame it on? My dad’s passing. “If your dad was here,” she would say, “you would have everything you want and I would be retired right now.”

It made me wonder, if he was here, would my life really be better? Would my life turn out like Joyce’s? Would my jealousy go away?

I thought about it and the answer is no, I would still be jealous. I would still envy her well-being and beauty and independence. Because if my dad was here, I would never come to the U.S. and I would never get a proper diagnosis not to mention getting the medicine I need to suppress the symptoms.

So yes, there are still a ton to be jealous about because I will always be this short tiny Chinese girl that can’t seem to get away from home.

Daily Prompt – Green-Eyed Monster

Related Post: Jealousy

T-shirt and Sweatpants


Today’s prompt asks: How important are clothes to you? Describe your style, if you have one, and tell us how appearance impacts how you feel about yourself. Continue reading “T-shirt and Sweatpants”

Science is Definitely NOT My Friend


Today’s prompt asks: Which subject in school did you find impossible to master? Did math give you hives? Did English make you scream? Do tell! Continue reading “Science is Definitely NOT My Friend”

Pulling Weeds


Today’s prompt asks: What’s the household task you most dislike doing? Why do you think that is — is it the task itself, or something more? Continue reading “Pulling Weeds”

The Impact of a Mountain Range


I took Utah Geography a few years ago, it was filled with hard work (typically university level classes). Continue reading “The Impact of a Mountain Range”

Reflection


Hi, everyone, I hope you’re having a happy Saturday. Continue reading “Reflection”

Jealousy


Oh, you cannot believe how often I get jealous of people who are smarter than me, pretty than me, thinner than me, and taller than me. Guess where I get that from? My mother. Continue reading “Jealousy”

I can’t laugh or joke. No joke!


zappa-funny-inspirational-quotesBefore I get into today’s post, I would just like to say that I know at the start of the week, I said there would be a marathon of Writing 101 posts. I’ve decided because of the work situation, I will call it quits with 16/20 completion. Continue reading “I can’t laugh or joke. No joke!”

My Favorite Muffin Recipe


Today’s prompt asks: If a restaurant were to name something after you, what would it be? Describe it. (Bonus points if you give us a recipe!) Continue reading “My Favorite Muffin Recipe”